Tag Archives: freshmen

  live under government health care and die or die

Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away

Andy Harris is an anesthesiologist and newly-elected Republican member of Congress from Maryland who ran on an anti-health-care-reform platform, but at an orientation yesterday, he got VERY ANGRY that the government will not provide him with free health care instantly after being sworn into office in January. The government is ruining our nation’s health by making it easier for citizens to get health care, and it is also ruining our nation’s health by making it harder for congressional citizens to get health care. Yeah, seems like a pretty consistent, populist position. Read more on Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away…
  it's morning in america

Dick Wadhams Hovers Over Colorado Primary

Primaries today in Colorado and other, less amusing states, like Georgia and whatever. In addition to the nonstop comedy Colorado has already provided us, there is an exciting new scandal: a big ol’ story in the New York Times described a money-losing scheme Senator Michael Bennet got involved in while Denver’s superintendent of schools, with the major source for the story being a supporter of Bennet’s primary opponent (though not identified as such by the Times). Dick Wadhams was unavailable for comment. Read more on Dick Wadhams Hovers Over Colorado Primary… Read more on Dick Wadhams Hovers Over Colorado Primary…
 

Gossip Roundup: Freaks and Geeks

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. makes every member of his staff turn in their resignation, then wait to be rehired… Rep. Mike Pence wore a flashy new suit! He’s running for Minority Leader, so a second suit can’t hurt… Isaac Hayes was on The Hill lobbying for the recording industry. Also, he’s a Scientologist. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Redskins owner/obvious bastard Dan Snyder will be attending Tom Cruise’s cult wedding… More Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, still no details on just how “mean.” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: As a publicist has already made sure to alert us, Eva Longoria was in town. She told a few jokes at a luncheon or something… Jim McGreevey might be on Joan Rivers’ new show, the Gay View… Freshmen Senators are stuck in the basements of Dirksen and Hart, Bob Corker and Sherrod Brown forced to share copier. [Examiner] * Under the Dome: George Allen’s sister Jennifer wrote stories even dirtier than Jim Webb’s… Alan Keyes, Rep. Chip Pickering (R-Miss.) and former Rep. Bob Barr (R-Ga.). are all in Borat… Senators-elect Sherrod Brown and Amy Klobuchar are former students of Joe Lieberman at Yale… Rep. Allyson Schwartz (D-Pa.) reports: Congress is like High School! [The Hill] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Freaks and Geeks…
 

Orientation Week Continues: Bob Casey Finds DC Housing Market “Verrry Niiiice”

More fun with First Day of School stories in papers across the nation — from the Times: “He’s everything I’m not,” Phil Hare, a new Democratic representative from Illinois, said about Heath Shuler, a former quarterback for the Washington Redskins and newly elected Democrat from North Carolina. “In shape and good-looking.” Read more on Orientation Week Continues: Bob Casey Finds DC Housing Market “Verrry Niiiice”…
 

Orientation Week

Your mission today: look through all five hundred “new congress gets acquainted with the Capitol” stories printed today in every major paper in the country (1, 2, 3, 4), and pick out the most idiotic/inane/funny-out-of-context quotes. Read more on Orientation Week…