Tag Archives: freepers

  How to understand the news when you are a racist

Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT

The victims were white, and the suspect was black, so … race war, obviously By now, you’ve heard the gruesome news, unless you work at a bar and you’re just now getting up. A disgruntled former employee of WDBJ-TV in Roanoke allegedly carried out a plan to murder two of his former colleagues, Alison Parker and Adam Ward, on camera as Parker was doing a fluff interview about tourism. Suspected gunman, Vester Lee Flanagan II (or Bryce Williams, when he was on camera), posted his crimes on social media, and then he shot himself. He’s reportedly in critical condition. [NOTE: Police report he died at around 1:30 PM ET.] Read more on Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  we were told there would be no math

Separating Fiction From Even Weirder Fiction: A Special Fun Wonkette Quiz About The Weather

Everyone in the online universe has already pointed out that Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe (R-Tornado Alley) voted against Hurricane Sandy aid last year but will probably collect sweet sweet government monies for the Oklahoma disaster. (AS WELL HE SHOULD DAMMIT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE GOVERNMENT IS THERE FOR EVEN IF YOUR SENATOR IS A DICK SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT.) We are also perfectly aware that Inhofe is demanding cuts elsewhere in the federal budget to offset any aid Oklahoma might get. These are bad things! We know! But right now we don’t care because what we’d REALLY like to talk about is just how deeply weird Inhofe is about global warming. Indeed, he’s weird enough to often out-freep the Freepers, which is kind of a feat. So, without further adieu, we bring you QUIZ TIME! Sharpen your Number 2 pencils! Sharpen your brains you lazy fuckers! It’s time for WHO SAID IT? Inhofe or Freepers? No fair googling first!! No looking at your neighbor’s paper! Ready? Let’s do the damn thing. Read more on Separating Fiction From Even Weirder Fiction: A Special Fun Wonkette Quiz About The Weather…
  Whinge Nuts

A Children’s Treasury Of Random Wingnut Post-Election Whining (Part 1 of ???)

Do you people have any idea how hard it is to sift through all the insane rightwing mutterings about the reelection of Barack Obama so that we can bring you the very best? Neither do we! It all starts looking the same after about five minutes! And so, this collection of freakouts will, of necessity, be something of a sampler plate from the great smorgasbord that is the Great 2012 Wingnut Butthurtosphere. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Random Wingnut Post-Election Whining (Part 1 of ???)…
  Wingnut Thought Experiments

Freepers Excited About Prospects Of New Civil War, Yet Again

Our friends over at Free Republic do not have a lot of confidence that U.S. America can possibly last much longer, what with all the socialism and the welfare and the fiat money and the welfare and the food stamps, also Obama will take everyone’s guns. Also, welfare. So they are ever vigilant for the first glimmer of a chance to actually refresh the Tree of Liberty with the blood of tyrants, or at least to talk about what they’ll do for sure when SHTF, which they are totally ready for. Heck, their bloodthirsty desire for serious concern about a second Civil War is so deep that FR even uses a “CW2” tag so readers can keep track of the many posts on the topic. The latest addition to the ouvre is “When The Music Stops — How America’s Cities May Explode In Violence,” by one Matt Bracken, which originally ran on the Western Rifle Shooters Assn. blog. Mr. Bracken is also the author of the “Enemies Foreign And Domestic” trilogy of novels, which is, surprisingly, self-published, and which absolutely does not simply scream “Turner Diaries fanfic.” (Link includes excerpts. Oh boy.) Read more on Freepers Excited About Prospects Of New Civil War, Yet Again…
  Anger Porn

A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Remembrances Of Communist Traitor Andy Griffith, Who Burns In Hell

Happy Independence Day, U.S. Americans! Iconic actor Andy Griffith, who played Iconic Sheriff Andy “Lonesome Rhodes” Matlock on the Iconic Teevee, died July 3 at the age of 86, and Wingnut America honored his memory with an outpouring of patriotic fervor, remembering how the late actor embodied decent small-town values, common-sense parenting, and destroying America by supporting the Illegal Alien Marxist Usurper Barry “Goober” Soetero. While most blog posts on Griffith’s death merely noted that he appeared in a Ron Howard ad for Barack Obama in 2008 (he was onscreen for about 46 seconds) and released a 32-second PSA in support of the Affordable Care Act in 2010, the commenters made certain to put those particular 78 seconds of screen time, out of a 59-year career, into their proper perspective. From The Blaze: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Remembrances Of Communist Traitor Andy Griffith, Who Burns In Hell…
  overcooked foods are terrifying

Freepers So Angry They Will Burn Toast At You!

The latest “put a food item in the mail to Washington, DC in order to send a strongly worded message to whomever” stunt involves … a cooked bread thing! Note that bread does not appear even once in the Constitution, which is a smear on Ron Paul and our other Founding Fathers. This is why only toast can advance the cause of Freedom Read more on Freepers So Angry They Will Burn Toast At You!…
  causal relationships

Freepers Are Going To Protest Existence Of Muslims By Boycotting Best Buy

OH woah woah woah, Best Buy has wished Muslims a Happy Eid al-Adha, the Islamic festival of sacrifice during which Muslims are traditionally encouraged to donate to charity?? Uhh nice try. Free Republic will boycott Best Buy now, just cold won’t shop there anymore, maybe it’ll even go out of business, right? And when all those Best Buy employees lose their jobs, terrorism/Muslims will be FINITIO. Read more on Freepers Are Going To Protest Existence Of Muslims By Boycotting Best Buy…
  republicans in the news

Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government

This would be terrifying if it wasn’t about some lamer old wingnuts and their message board: The person who runs FreeRepublic.com is cold gonna overthrow the U.S. government — that means you, blackenstein — and ho ho, no more taxes on the millionaires! Hooray! Anyway, folks, things are getting Seriously Weird with the wingnuts, birthers, paultards and other middle-aged white suckers who bought into that whole Reagan thing 30 years ago and, whoops, are still poor and doomed. Read more on Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government…
  republicans in the news

A Children’s Treasury of Wingnut Responses To Arlen Specter Becoming Gay

The 14 remaining wingnut Republicans are, of course, furious about Muslin-Communist and Pennsylvania shit monster Arlen Specter doing what they always knew he would do, with the becoming a DemonCRAP, because of course his whole plan all along from the day he was hatched, from a turd, was to stick an Arab Dagger in the backs of the Real Americans, right at the moment when there are basically no Real Americans left, which means … ?! … which means PURGE THE GOP OF OTHER NOT-WINGNUTTY-ENOUGH SENATORS, so that they have maybe 30 seats, maybe 25? Hoor — HUH?! Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Wingnut Responses To Arlen Specter Becoming Gay…
  lopsided victories

Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel

It was a nail-biter, folks! Illinois’ 5th District held a special election after Rahm Emanuel left his post to go whisper evil imprecations in the ear of our malleable and naive young king, Barack Obama. Two contenders emerged: Cook County Commissioner and known Democrat Mike Quigley, and the deranged Freeper Rosanna Pulido. Ms. Pulido put up a valiant fight, but without national Republican support could not prevail over the Democratic Machine, which decided to put Quigley over the top with oh like 70 percent of the vote. What is this, Russia? [Chicago Tribune] Read more on Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel…
  today in chicago area politics

Exciting Congressional Election Determines Next Rahm Emanuel

Several months ago Rahm Emanuel left his post in the House of Representatives and temporarily abandoned his ambitions to become the first nine-and-a-half-fingered Speaker of the House in order to crack skulls for Barack Obama. Today, the specialest of all special elections determines who will “fill his seat.” Read more on Exciting Congressional Election Determines Next Rahm Emanuel…
  yeah well john mccain is a secret panamanian

Tea Party Shocker: Most Of These People Are Nuts

Cleveland! It’s a hot town! This guy went to one of them Tea Party protests on Friday, discovered that pretty much everybody there thought Barack Obama was a foreign-born Alien Muslim, etc. You know, the usual. And now a swarm of insane people have flooded comments on the video with actual gibberish like this: “harlem style wheeling and dealing and the multiple lies Obama ahas gathered are not what the USa can toelrate and i’m just saying that thinking that jiving can get you through is a far shot for US politics and Obama is not adapted for this job not in 2009.” Democracy! [Blogger Interrupted] Read more on Tea Party Shocker: Most Of These People Are Nuts…
  not-so-secret muslim

PREPARE FOR ULTIMATE RIGHT-WING BLOG HILARITY: “Barack Obama told a group of donors in California early last year that his first international trip would be to Muslim Indonesia, a supporter who was present recalled today… He then said when he got off [Air Force One], he would say ‘xxxxxxxx’ – which we, of course, didn’t understand,’ Leary emailed. ‘He said that it was Indonesian (which he speaks) for, “I am back, dudes.”‘” Free Republic will be gold tonight. [Ben Smith] Read more on …