freedomworks
FreedomWorks: Your New Source For Hillary Clinton Sexxxxxxytime…With Pandas!
Here at Wonket, we are pretty grateful for FreedomWorks. They’re like the snotty libertarian half-brother of grownup GOP PACs. Their notorious infighting devolved into a downright theater of the absurd when Dick Armey showed up WITH GUNS to remove top employees. Way to make office politics interesting, Dick! Speaking of interesting…ok, you know what? We’ve [...]
FreedomWorks: Protection From Domestic Violence Is For Wusses
Have you been avoiding reading anything about the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) because opposition to it is just too fucking depressing? US TOO. But now none of us can avoid it no more not ever, because the Editrix decreed that we read some things and write a thing about it. Do [...]
Dick Armey Sorry He Dished To Most Sinister Far-Left Outlet On The Planet, ‘Media Matters’
Were any of you as surprised as we were when Dick Armey decided to dish about all the crimes going on at his “grassroots” Tea Party group to the most sinister far-left outlet on the planet, Media Matters, last week? It was awesome; he explained how the “grassroots” Tea Party group FreedomWorks, before it paid [...]
Hot New ‘Guns Blazing’ Negotiation Technique Is All the Rage
Wonketeers, we understand that sometimes you are dissatisfied with the structure of a corporation you chair. You wish to reconfigure your management structure, synergize your efficiencies, and let some underperforming folks go. (Hahaha you do not get to do that because you are a peon who does not have your own wingnut group to run, [...]
BREAKING: Person Upset By Camera Stuck In His Face a UNION MEMBER
The Republicans have found their “union thug” of the Wisconsin protests! Hooray! No more collective bargaining for you, Mick. Except this didn’t happen in Wisconsin, where, we suppose, people like this have been unable to enrage the gentle “Wisconsin nice” union members who are staging knit-ins, of all things. It happened outside FreedomWorks’ offices in [...]
Lisa Murkowski Constantly Making Jim DeMint Cry Like a Little Baby
Lisa Murkowski is the world’s biggest loser/jerk-off for not volunteering to work fifty hours a week as an unpaid intern for Joe Miller’s Senate campaign. And now for some reason Lisa Murkowski gets to keep her seat on her important Energy Committee, even though Jim DeMint said she wasn’t allowed to. Aren’t women supposed to [...]
New FreedomWorks Diversity Thing Sounds Really Fake
FreedomWorks is constantly on the move. We mean this figuratively and literally, since FreedomWorks is always very busy hosting death picnics — but also it actually moved its headquarters, because it is so afraid of all the libruls. And somehow FreedomWorks has been able to keep up the momentum, perhaps because Dick Armey keeps an [...]
Scary Liberal Hate Mail Makes FreedomWorks’ Lease Expire
FreedomWorks is a sparkling beacon of truth, a special Made In China sweatshop beacon that turns into a Dick Armey-shaped sponge when you place it in a glass of water. So why do liberals keep emailing FreedomWorks hateful messages such as “eat a turd sandwich and then drop dead, preferably at this very moment”? It’s [...]
Steve Forbes Craps On Robert Byrd’s Fresh Grave
Robot-dweeb asswipe Steve Forbes was such a great Republican Presidential Candidate that absolutely no-one can remember that Steve Forbes did this, not so long ago. Has he vanished up the anus of his inherited wealth? No, of course not. He’s a fake Teabagger. He’s got a Twitter. And he’s so happy Robert Byrd is dead. [...]
GEICO Voice Dropped After Simply Asking FreedomWorks A Question About Their Retards
We had not heard about this! Has “other we” (Ken Layne) brought it up? Not enough time to look through the archives, COPY-PASTE: “Actor Lance Baxter, otherwise known as ‘D.C. Douglas,’ currently known as the man who informs you how much Geico can save you on car insurance, left a message last month with FreedomWorks [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of So-So BlackBerry Photos From FreedomWorks’ Tax Day Tea Party
Welcome to Narnia! We arrived at the FreedomWorks Tax Day Tea Party last night just as the Christian lion Admiral Ackbar was gettin’ the crowd all hot and bothered, about socialism, between their trips to the Fried Dough and Porta Potty lines. No just kidding, the speaker was maybe Neal Boortz or somebody else. “They’re [...]
Your Wonkette Got Backstage Access To The Tax Day Tea Party, Hooray
Your Wonkette has just returned from a lovely evening at the Washington Monument, site of Dick Armey’s FreedomWorks Tax Day Tea Party! Your editor remembered to charge his digital camera battery this time, too — but then left the battery at home, in the charger. Hooray! But whatever. We have more terrible BlackBerry photos to [...]
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