Wonkette

What dark human vice was engaged herein, June 12, 2008, among Wonketteers and thine ilk? MORE »

It is April 30, D-Day, and this means that Ron Paul’s book hit Borders and Barnes & Noble and the -3 other book store chains across the globe over 17 hours ago! HOW MANY COPIES DO YOU HAVE ALREADY? We have three (million). It is the #1 bestseller on Amazon.com and out of 106 customer reviews, 104 have given it five stars, one has given it four stars and one fascist has given it three measly stars. The three-star review comes from “J. Davis” in San Diego, California. We assume that he was suspiciously found dead within minutes of posting his nuanced take. But what are the other members of the Ron Paul literati saying about the Manifesto? Let’s run through the best comments from Amazon.com! MORE »

The Paultards, as you can see, are going to post “Liberty articles” to “the entrance to Congress” because “grant” asked them to. Grant has written some Declaration that divides the U.S. into land patents; whatever, we don’t know, and now we will copy-paste five arbitrarily comical paragraphs from it after the jump, because the fucker is burdensome. MORE »

This sad lady does pot because her back esploded and she doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore. Note the strange time-lapse visual effects that make you, the viewer, experience the same strange “LSD trails” that are a hallmark of the dangerous drug called marijuana. Other effects include meth mouth, baby sales, and penile ossification. [Minnesotans for Compassionate Care/YouTube] MORE »

Suburban operative “Carol” writes to Wonkette about the gathering storm: “I live in the suburbs outside Philadelphia, and all of a sudden, in the past week, Ron Paul for President signs are sprouting up everywhere. It’s like some evil gardener replaced all the daffodils with Ron Paul signs. What’s the deal? Do the Paultards not realize he’s out? Do they not care? Is this just some pitiful way to make the Republican primary in Pennsylvania worth a damn?” To answer in order: something, no, yes, Freedom. But what “Carol” sees is no coincidence, because today Ron Paul launched his campaign for Pennsylvania with a glorious speaking tour! MORE »

This week at George Washington University — Foggy Bottom’s most expensive and maybe best safety school — two members of Ron Paul’s team, the finance girl and the web guy, came to lecture the kids on why Barack Obama’s losing so hilariously in the polls. Because, ha ha, those Obama people, they just don’t get the Internets. How can you have… can you have a GRASSROOTS section on the… ha ha ha… on the OFFICIAL CANDIDATE’S WEBPAGE? Ha ha ha… that’s like… that’s not Freedom at all! Watch these two make fun of Obama’s “top-down” failure campaign after the jump! MORE »

Would you like to buy some “signed and numbered, limited edition archival prints and canvases” commemorating Ron Paul’s liberty? In the rare case you turn that pitch down, what if we told you they feature the work of “renowned artist Randy Lee Blain”? Check some of these prints after the jump, but be warned: they may be hilarious, and hobbit-like. MORE »

Last Tuesday, as tornadoes swept the South and the Midwest struggled beneath a blanket of snow, the weather showed it would stop at nothing to foil the progress of Democracy. Now the weather has set its sights on Virginia and the Carolinas, sending down a plague of hellfire and howling winds–just in time to stop presidential hopefuls Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton from campaigning in the area. MORE »

Over at our favorite place on the whole Internet, Ron Paul Forums, they are very worried: MORE »

What better way for a champion to end his career in the ring than by, uh, permanently disfiguring his own body with a giant Ron Paul tattoo? That was the grand scheme hatched by the Paultards, who came up with this great idea to forever scar middleweight/heavyweight legend Roy Jones Jr. with Paul’s name in time for the big fight with Felix Trinidad on Saturday. But Jones just killed the $50,000 offer, the Las Vegas Sun reports, because it was just so fucking stupid. [Las Vegas Sun]