Tag Archives: freedom

  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  Madison Heights MI Safe From Tyranny -- For Now

‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole

Public servants serving the public
Via Moms Demand Action comes this proud Open Carry activist “Nunya Beeswax,” who posted a FOUR-PART YouTube video documenting a recent Open Carry walk that Mr. Beeswax took around his Michigan neighborhood. He is the very model of a free man who knows his rights, which include the Right to Bear Arms, the Right to Free Speech, the Right to Bear Arms while Speaking Freely, and the Right To Be An Insufferable Prick Toward Police Officers Because He Is A Free Man And They Are Jackbooted Thugs who are supposed to work for WE THE PEOPLE. Read more on ‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole…
  You'll have that Mariah Carey "Hero" song in your head by the end of this

Ted Nugent: Sarah Palin Is The Dream Dr. King And The Founding Fathers Died For

Ted must have been so nervous standing next to such a great American hero!
Ted Nugent said a stupid about Sarah Palin on the Lars Larson show, because it was a day, and why wouldn’t Ted Nugent take any opportunity to say a stupid about Sarah Palin? She is his HERO, you guys, and even more than that, she is apparently what the Founding Fathers were prophesying all along back when they wrote the Bible. Ted explained to Lars that Palin “is the perfect example of what our Founding Fathers envisioned for an experiment in self-government.” Read more on Ted Nugent: Sarah Palin Is The Dream Dr. King And The Founding Fathers Died For…
  giant douche noodle says what?

Rand Paul Does Not Care For Impertinent Reporter’s Questions, Is Kind Of A Dick About It

Could you be more of a dick?
The human-shaped null set that is Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky took his talent for being a whiny dick to CNBC on Monday afternoon for an interview that made him look like a cross between Michele Bachmann and an angry furby. You knew things were not going to go well when anchorperson Kelly Evans started off by asking Paul if he had really just told incandescent rage ball Laura Ingraham that most vaccines “ought to be voluntary.” Read more on Rand Paul Does Not Care For Impertinent Reporter’s Questions, Is Kind Of A Dick About It…
  Our Cold Merely Wounded Hands

Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves

Nobody wearing a 'take responsibility' shirt would ever act irresponsibly!
Time for another roundup of just a few exciting stories of Responsible Gun Owners keeping themselves safe from crime and from the threat of tyrannical government overreach! We’ll ease into our Gun Fun with a story that’s happily non-lethal — so far, at least. Read more on Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  First Do What's Popular

Rand Paul Torn Between Libertarian Principles And OMG EBOLAZ!!!!!1

It was this or a photo of Rand Paul, and we love you too much to do that
Sen. Rand Paul MD is trying to decide where he stands on the important issue of putting healthcare workers in quarantine regardless of whether they have Ebola symptoms or not. (Remember kids, that’s the only time people are infectious: after they’re symptomatic). It is truly an ethical dilemma for him, because on the one hand, he is a Libertarian who loves the Freedom (except for ladyparts, which are not free because babbies come first), but on the other hand, he is a “doctor” with a real “license” and everything, and he just wants to keep the public safe from this disease that he knows the CDC isn’t telling you everything about. Read more on Rand Paul Torn Between Libertarian Principles And OMG EBOLAZ!!!!!1…
  keep on humpin'

NRA Will Not Rest Until Every Convicted Stalker Can Still Own A Gun

It must be hard to be the NRA. You’ve got to up your evil quotient every single day. Like, they probably have to lift weights just to bulk up for that much evildoing. Short of kicking puppies or eating babies (both of which the NRA is probably not above if the puppies or the babies get in the way of some guns), what can the NRA do today to be worse than the NRA yesterday? How about opposing proposed federal legislation that would keep guns out of the hands of people convicted of certain types of domestic violence and/or stalking? Great leap in evil, NRA! Read more on NRA Will Not Rest Until Every Convicted Stalker Can Still Own A Gun…
  i'm you

Dammit, Jim, Christine O’Donnell Isn’t A Witch, She’s A Washington Times Columnist (And You)

We suppose we can’t really begrudge has-been wingnut idiot and failed 2010 Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell for kicking off her new Washington Times column with yet another variation on the one thing she’s actually known for, that dumb “I’m Not a Witch” ad. Hell, if Bill “Ray J. Johnson” Saluga made a standup career out of one stupid line, why not? And so here is Christine O’Donnell, insisting yet again that once we get to know her, the smell of limeade belches and dirty socks will dissipate and we’ll like her really a lot: After my speaking engagements, the comments I hear the most are some variation of, “You’re nothing like I thought you’d be! I can’t believe how much I agree with you,” or, even better, “I actually like you.” The first few times I heard these, I responded with a blank stare and muttered, “Umm, thank you?” while thinking to myself, “What the heck did he think I’d be like?” (Don’t answer that!) Haha, get it? THAT is where you are supposed to answer “A witch!” and chuckle to yourself. Actually, what we expected was the blank stare, so good going with that. Read more on Dammit, Jim, Christine O’Donnell Isn’t A Witch, She’s A Washington Times Columnist (And You)…
  georgia is a gunderland

Georgia Says Screw It, Allows Guns In Airports, School Zones, Other Awesome Places To Have Guns

Today, Georgians with a hyperinflated sense of ego-driven invincibility rejoiced as Governor Nathan Deal signed into law a bill that allows them to protect innocent victims virtually anywhere they wish, like when they’re drinking or when someone gives them the sideeye for not putting anything in the collection plate. Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal signed a wide-ranging gun bill into law Wednesday that has critics howling and proponents applauding. House Bill 60, or the Safe Carry Protection Act of 2014 — which opponents have nicknamed the “guns everywhere bill” — specifies where Georgia residents can carry weapons. Included are provisions that allow residents who have concealed carry permits to take guns into some bars, churches, school zones, government buildings and certain parts of airports. What’s best about this list is that they just kept adding new and even more objectionable places to the list to distract from the previous places it made no fucking sense to have a gun. Read more on Georgia Says Screw It, Allows Guns In Airports, School Zones, Other Awesome Places To Have Guns…
  so long and thanks for all the fish

Intelligence Community Cracking Down On Leaks About Weaponized Armored Dolphin Soldiers Probably

Fox News has uncovered chilling evidence that Bamz is running the least transparent, most fascist administration EVAH. America’s top spy, or department head, James Clapper has attacked freedom, by writing a strongly worded memo addressed to employees of the intelligence community. The memo dictates that: “employees …must obtain authorization for contacts with the media on covered matters through the office responsible for public affairs … and must also report to that office unplanned or unintentional contact with the media on covered matters” This is outrageous. How can we expect members of our intelligence community to not immediately share all information they receive with the nearest reporter? What about transparency?! What other organization has ever been subjected to such oppressive secrecy measures as handling media coverage through an office for public affairs? Oh, every organization you’ve ever worked for, you say? Read more on Intelligence Community Cracking Down On Leaks About Weaponized Armored Dolphin Soldiers Probably…
  Snowjob

Three Possible Explanations For The Snowden-Putin Tele-Potemkin, None Of Them Very Nice (VIDEO)

Spongy-faced Russian Emperor Vladimir Putin did some kind of Face The Motherland forum on his own personal television network, and he had a Very Special Guest: American/Russian hero/traitor Edward Snowden! Snowden began by stating that America’s intelligence-gathering methods are indiscriminate, ineffective, and abusive, then asked Putin if Russia did the same things. According to Slate’s transcript, Putin responded, in part: “We don’t have a mass system of such interception, and according to our law it cannot exist … [W]e don’t have as much money as they have in the States and we don’t have these technical devices that they have in the States. Our special services, thanks god, are strictly controlled by the society and by the law and are regulated by the law.” Putin did NOT go on to explain that, on the other hand, of course he personally directs Russia’s police and armed forces to violently squash any hint of civil protest against his government, and of course he’ll just go around slicing off pieces of other countries for Russia to eat in violation of international law, because that would undermine his point about being pretty much the best and sexiest beacon of Law and Freedom. He is a smart dude! Putin’s reasons for wanting this exchange on television are clear. But what about Snowden’s? Here are three of them, and sorry Team Snowden, none are very flattering to your guy. Read more on Three Possible Explanations For The Snowden-Putin Tele-Potemkin, None Of Them Very Nice (VIDEO)…
  he's not crazy you're the one who's crazy

Georgia Pol Will Unmask These Brutuses, Iagos, Dastardly Villeins Who Plungeth Knives Unto His Back; Is Not Crazy

Georgia state Representative Jason Spencer sat upon his mount, Puffikins, and narrowed his noble and handsome gaze upon the hills. He knew they came, and they would be legion. He planted his staff in the heather and sang a little song. It wasn’t a very good song, but it was his. It would be sung by grateful citizens through history, a musical ode to his bravery in the face of the fuckers who would murder him by tabling his awesome bill. Georgia state Representative Jason Spencer’s awesome bill, HB 707, was the bravest most patriotic bill that had ever been introduced throughout any land. It explained to the federal government that they should die now for the crime of making serfs out of the populace through the provision of doctors visits and expanded Medicaid. Georgia state Representative Jason Spencer, he would die on this hill. Also, he would prohibit any state agency, department or political subdivision from using resources or spending funds to advocate for the expansion of Medicaid; prohibit the state of Georgia from running an insurance exchange; refuse federal grant money for the purpose of creating or running a state insurance exchange; end the University of Georgia Health Navigator Program; and prohibit the Commissioner of Insurance from investigating or enforcing any alleged violation of federal health insurance requirements mandated by Obamacare. And how did his own people respond? After the Georgia House had approved his grand brave bill 115 to 59? The Republicans in the Georgia Senate — they tabled it. Georgia state Representative Jason Spencer’s eyes grew moist as he thought of these motherfarking bastidges. He had some oratory to declaim, and it would save the day. The following quotes, from Georgia state Representative Jason Spencer, are absolutely 100 percent not kidding for real the real deal. Dude totally said this, we swear. Read more on Georgia Pol Will Unmask These Brutuses, Iagos, Dastardly Villeins Who Plungeth Knives Unto His Back; Is Not Crazy…
  seems reasonable

Utah State Rep: We Need More Divorce School Because My Friends Are ‘Surprised’ When Wives Leave Them

What is a divorce? It’s when you mix gin and chocolate milk in a rubber glove. Everyone knows that! But did you know that when you “divorce” your spouse, you aren’t married anymore? You would, if you had gone to divorce school. Your divorce education is so important, in fact, that Utah mandates a divorce class for anyone who wants to obtain the state’s blessing to not be married anymore. But is that really enough? No, says Utah State Rep. Jim Nielson, who thinks that not only should you have to go to divorce school if you want a divorce, but you should have to go, like, right this instant! And pay attention! That will fix the divorces, thinks Jim. He’s also pretty sure that it’s mostly women who are getting these divorces, based on “anecdotal information,” which is defined as “information upon which it is appropriate to base laws in Utah.” Read more on Utah State Rep: We Need More Divorce School Because My Friends Are ‘Surprised’ When Wives Leave Them…
  i will work harder!

Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to spend on food, so they spend less money on food. The end result is not, as Rand Paul argued, “less slavery,”  but rather less food being sold.  Read more on Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches.

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own. We recommend washing it all down with a big swig of the reality-diluter of your choice. Read more on Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches….
  Arizona's a hell of a drug

Arizona Bill Would Protect Freedom To Discriminate Against Gays, Single Ladies, Non-Christians For Freedom Obviously

Arizona’s Republican state Sen. Steve Yarbrough sure seems like a nice guy. He is freedom-fighting to protect poor, defenseless business owners from having to co-exist with the enemies of Traditional ValuesTM. He has introduced Senate Bill 1062, which would simply protect religious freedom and ban discrimination against anyone unless they are gay or a not-married lady or a Jew or Muslin, but those people don’t count, duh. Experts are warning that a bill making its way through the Arizona legislature would allow businesses to discriminate against LGBT people, unmarried women or even non-Christians. […] And Yarbrough told The Seirra Vista Herald that the bill would allow hotel owners to refuse to rent rooms to LGBT people and would protect businesses that had a religious objection to hiring unmarried women. What could possibly be wrong with that? Read more on Arizona Bill Would Protect Freedom To Discriminate Against Gays, Single Ladies, Non-Christians For Freedom Obviously…
  texas is not a ally

Texas Gay National Guard Members Get The Shaft, But Not In Good Way

You know that drunk uncle who arrives at your Thanksgiving meals to complain about how the messicans and my-NOR-AH-ties and homosessuals are ruining America, which was founded by White Manly Jesus on White Christian Values? If that uncle were a state, he would be Texas, the embarrassing wrinkly scrotum-skin of America, smelling like an odd mixture of crankcase oil and bigotry. In their latest attempt to treat the LGBTQMORELETTERS community as separate and unequal, the Texas National Guard is refusing to process military housing allowances for same-sex couples. We just gotta ask: Texas, why do you hate the military? Why do you hate America? Why are you untying the yellow ribbon from the ole oak tree? Why do you suck so hard on that penis, the one that is in your mouth?  Read more on Texas Gay National Guard Members Get The Shaft, But Not In Good Way…
  Who Would Jesus Refuse To Hire?

Senate Wants To Exempt Churches From ENDA To Protect Their Right To Hate Gays For Jesus

Aw, this is so sweet and Jesus-y: The Senate on Wednesday adopted an amendment to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) from Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) that would prevent retaliation against religious organizations. Portman’s amendment — which would prevent retaliation against religious organizations that don’t hire someone because of sexual orientation or identity — passed by voice-vote. Now, you might ask yourself why religious institutions that are supposedly dedicated to spreading the good word about loving the poors and the sluts and how the 1 percent is gonna have a hell of a time getting into Heaven would need a special dispensation from the Senate to keep on keeping on with that whole “Ewww, The Gays” thing. Especially since New Pope recently said hating chicks and gays should maybe not be a top priority. But what does he know? That’s just, like, his opinion, man, and as we’ve all learned from the bishops’ tireless crusade to protect religious liberty by denying health care to women, there’s really no better way to protect our freedoms than by fighting to deny other people their freedoms. Read more on Senate Wants To Exempt Churches From ENDA To Protect Their Right To Hate Gays For Jesus…
  exploding foamy pig doots for everyone!

Texas Fertilizer Plants Say No Thanks To Fire Inspections, Fire Marshal Sorry To Have Bothered Them

As we all know, Texas is wide open for business, just waiting for your hot throbbing business to come and spray money all over the Lone Star State. And don’t worry about no stupid regulations! If your roller coaster kills someone, go ahead and investigate it your own self. Or if you’re into fracking, come on down and the guys who “regulate” oil and gas will run help you drill and pump as fast as you can. If you want to run a potentially explosive fertilizer plant, you don’t need to worry too much about the state fire code, because there isn’t one. And if you don’t want the state fire marshal’s office seeing anything iffy, NO PROBLEM: Five facilities in Texas with large quantities of the same fertilizer chemical that fueled the deadly plant explosion in West have turned away state fire marshal inspectors since the blast, investigators said Monday. A railway operator that hauls hazardous materials across Texas was also said to have rebuffed a state request to share data since the April explosion at West Fertilizer Co. that killed 15 people and injured 200 others. Even better, when State Fire Marshal Chris Connealy was asked if the plants’ turning away the inspectors raised concerns, he said, “Well, sure.” And then he added, “In their defense, they may have a very good reason[.]” He seems nice, just a “go along to get along” kind of guy. Exactly the sort of person Texas wants regulating big explodey factories. We’re thinking he should be played by Robert Wuhl. Read more on Texas Fertilizer Plants Say No Thanks To Fire Inspections, Fire Marshal Sorry To Have Bothered Them…