Tag Archives: free speech

  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Liberals Bad, Kevin Costner Movie Good

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
In the penultimate edition of the Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker, Sarah Palin is pretty sure she’s being silenced by duh, who else, “the left.” Also too, if you need a movie recommendation, Sarah would like to put in a good word for McFarland USA, an inspirational sports story about family, long-distance running, and benevolent white paternalism. Paired together, these two videos are no more incoherent than anything else Palin’s done with her dumb fake television channel whut is on the Internet, so let’s just get to the blockquoting. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Liberals Bad, Kevin Costner Movie Good…
  Will The Thing On His Head Testify?

Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans

Also Free Speach!
Humungous bag of weasel smegma Donald Trump is suing Univision for $500 million because it canceled its coverage of the Miss Universe pageant after his really smart (and totally accurate, he says) analysis of Mexicans, who are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.” Some, he figures, are “good people,” so he doesn’t even see why everyone’s having a hissy fit, he’s covered that. And who knows, depending on the details of the contract, he might even have a case against the network. Oh, but it turns out that the lawsuit isn’t just about breach of contract. No, this is Donald Trump, so he had to go Full Palin and accuse the network of trying to stifle his FREE SPEACH. Read more on Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!

Newsweek's gift to posterity
For a mommyblog and recipe hub that doesn’t allow comments, Yr Wonkette sure got a lot of crazy ones on our story about Friday’s Great Big Free-Speech-n-Guns Rally Against Islam in Phoenix. Our favorite was from “Elizabeth,” who explained that since we were making fun of a bunch of hate-filled goons with guns, we had obviously been blinded to the true nature of Islam, because those Muslims just lie all the time: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!…
  Have A Koch And A Smile

Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers

We built this!
The recent revelation that Wei-Hock Soon, one of the top “respectable” climate change deniers out there, gets most of his funding from the coal and oil industry has led Congressional Democrats to attempt to Follow The Money in the climate denial business. Well! Charles and David Koch will have you climate busybodies know that it is none of your damn business how they spend their money, which is a form of speech, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for even asking. Read more on Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers…
  Especially if you put the homo kisses next to the Jumble!

Texas GOP Chair Just Don’t Cotton To Them ‘Angry-Looking Homosexual Women’

That guy right there, name of Tom Mechler, has been chosen to be the new head of the Texas GOP, and boy howdy, does he have some thoughts on the gays and what they’ve gone and done to civility and family values culture! The Texas Observer reports that Mechler, last March, penned himself a screed in the Amarillo Globe-News, due to an incident what had happened at the Amarillo Town Club. You see, one day a couple of lesbians marched up into the club and thought that maybe, hey, you give family discounts, we are a lesbian couple, we can have discount? The Amarillo Town Club is apparently not cool like Planet Fitness, and they said no, you cannot, we say you’re not a family. Read more on Texas GOP Chair Just Don’t Cotton To Them ‘Angry-Looking Homosexual Women’…
  Just About Had It With Your Folderol

Canadian Town Hates First Amendment, Bans Spittin’, Cussin’, And Hullabaloos

You monsters, eh?
The Canadian town of Taber, Alberta (in the human-occupied portion of that exotic northernmost U.S. Territory), has created quite the big to-do with a new “Community Standards bylaw” that restricts public speech and behaviour, probably in open violation of the Canadian Constitution, which is cute because they think they have one of those just like we do. The bylaw has proven controversial, and there is every anticipation that the fuss may soon degenerate into a state of open hullabaloo. Read more on Canadian Town Hates First Amendment, Bans Spittin’, Cussin’, And Hullabaloos…
  The KKK Took My Baby Away And Ate My Homework

Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!

Even the far-left liberal blog Wonkette says you don't get a free pass over art that bothers you
The University of Iowa has urged faculty members to let students miss or re-take tests if they were upset over some campus art that was SUPER RACIST (because it addressed racism). Apparently some students were so broken up over either the artwork itself — or the controversy surrounding its removal by the university — that they simply couldn’t get their schoolwork done. Letting students ignore their assignments because they had really strong feelings about a work of art strikes us as maybe a bad idea? Read more on Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!…
  He'll free speech you right in the face

Deadbeat Pro-Lifey Loser Ex-Congressjerk Joe Walsh Can’t Wait For Terrorists To Kill Everyone On TV

Joe Walsh (R-Actual Human Scumbag)
For a guy who loves Life and Freedom as much as he supposedly does, the former congressman and forever-scumbag Joe Walsh has a real neat Life-y and Freedom-y suggestion for the terrorists: Read more on Deadbeat Pro-Lifey Loser Ex-Congressjerk Joe Walsh Can’t Wait For Terrorists To Kill Everyone On TV…
  You have a First Amendment right to pray to any Jesus you want

Fox News So Mad At Oklahoma Satanists

He is A Expert
The Fox gang was having a nice Sunday morning chat about Adam McDaniel, the leader of the Dakhma of Angra Mainyu Syndicate, a Satanic group in Oklahoma that organized a public mass to be held in Oklahoma City’s Civic Center. You’ll be shocked to know that Fox and its official religion contributor have all of a sudden discovered just how wrong it is to allow a religious service on public property. So. Very. Wrong. Read more on Fox News So Mad At Oklahoma Satanists…
  Statuary Rape

Pennsylvania 14-Year-Old Could Get Two Years In Prison For Desecrating Jesus Statue’s Mouth With His Wanger

Wham Bam Thank You Lamb Of God
A Pennsylvania teen is getting an education in morality and jurisprudence after he posted photos of himself pretending to do oral sex with a statue of Our Lord And Savior, Jumped-Up Jesus H. Face-Fucker. The young miscreant, a resident of Everett, Pennsylvania, posed with a statue in front of Everett’s Love in the Name of Christ nonprofit, posted the pics to Facebook, and was eventually reached by the long arm of the law, although the photo is not obscene (while shirtless, the kid is wearing baggy shorts which fully cover his Sin Parts) and the statue was not damaged. There’s no physical desecration, so this is no “Piss Christ” or “Bukakke Jebus.” Even so, this simulated oral violation of the Lord calls for some simulated justice! Read more on Pennsylvania 14-Year-Old Could Get Two Years In Prison For Desecrating Jesus Statue’s Mouth With His Wanger…
  annals of free speach

Un-Racist, Un-Hateful Murrieta Will Totally Sue You For Calling It A Bigot

Cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz, who does both political cartoons and the LA Cucaracha comic strip, has incurred the wrath of Xavier Hermosillo, the Public Relations schmuck for the City of Murrieta, who knows that the Constitution protects free speech, but not for people who say mean things. You see, Alcaraz has been tweeting with the hashtag “#murrietahatecityusa,” and posted a violently anti-American cartoon showing two kids calling Murrieta’s protesters “racist,” which is the most racist hateful slur available in America today. See the terrible slur, after the jump! Read more on Un-Racist, Un-Hateful Murrieta Will Totally Sue You For Calling It A Bigot…
  the epitomy of a dumb ass

Deleted Comments Of The Day: How Can You Monsters Support The Troops When One’s A Traitor?

Let’s keep shoveling out the comments queue — as we’ve mentioned, we have a whole bunch of … matter piling up in there, and we’re going to have to work hard to clean this mess out. Today, we’ll hear from some patriots who have had it with the Obama administration’s craven support for our enemies in the United States Army, specifically one POW, Bowe Bergdahl. Obviously, say these Bergdullards, a POW should have been left with the Taliban instead of brought home, because this is America, and Fox News said his dad has a beard. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: How Can You Monsters Support The Troops When One’s A Traitor?…
  Satire Or Idiocy? Why Choose?

Thought Catalog Guy Pretty Sure Muting Him On Twitter Is First Amendment Violation

Over in our Wonket Sekrit Chatcave, a debate is raging as to whether or not this dumbass article on Thought Catalog is satire or unvarnished dumbass or some combination thereof? We’re not sure, but let’s get to mocking this guy who thinks (?) free speech is threatened by muting someone on Twitter. Read more on Thought Catalog Guy Pretty Sure Muting Him On Twitter Is First Amendment Violation…
  this charming man

Florida Proscutor’s Whimsical Mother’s Day Message To ‘Crack Hoes’ Seen As Offensive Somehow

A Florida prosecutor just wanted to send a positive message to women on Mother’s Day, but for some reason, a lot of people seem not to recognize his inspirational intentions. Assistant State Attorney Kenneth Lewis posted this little ray of sunshine to his Facebook account on May 11: Honestly, it’s like people go out of their way to find the negative in a harmless statement like that. Read more on Florida Proscutor’s Whimsical Mother’s Day Message To ‘Crack Hoes’ Seen As Offensive Somehow…