Wednesday, March 11: In honor of the upcoming National Cherry Blossom festival, Washington Life magazine is throwing the annual Pink Tie Cocktail Party, which means not only will you be emasculated for wearing a pink tie, you will feel personally humiliated at your own Poorness when you find out that the tickets are $150. But! There will be cherry-themed food and drinks from all your favorite local restaurants. [National Cherry Blossom Festival] MORE »

Thursday, Feb. 12: DC Vegan is hosting an event at the Science Club to connect with vegans in the community. You don’t have to be a vegan to go, but, as their website says, you should have an interest in “animal rights” and “a little after-work fun.” Cash bar, 7PM. [DC Vegan Drinks] MORE »

Krispy Kreme wants to help you celebrate Barack Obama’s inauguration by giving you a donut! Obviously this is a metaphor for abortion. Read their shocking press release after the jump. MORE »

Good news, unpaid child slaves of The Hill: folks are lookin’ out for you! Specifically, dangerous hippie folks. First, we received an email from “Campus Progress” announcing their 2nd Annual Intern Free Food-a-Thon.

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• Yeas and Nays: Vernon Jordan calls and demands that Nathan’s (G’town) bring chilidogs out to his car as he drives by… Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will preside over a mock trial involving Henrik Ibsen characters. Former theater students, law students equally appalled. [Examiner]
• Reliable Source: Hill Staffers, Reps Bob Etheridge and James McGovern, eat school lunch — voluntarily — because it was free. Lunch options given goofy names, you really should just go read it for yourself. [WP]

There’s an email going around the Hill inviting people to a beef tasting. Tastings actually. They’re free, they’re open to the public and all you have to do is “rate the meat on juiciness, flavor, and overall likeability.”

We did the same with boyfriends. Details after the jump.

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