• A LITTLE TOO LONG ON THE BUSINESS DESK: Here’s a wry bit of Gallows Humor from the Associated Press: “Kellermann’s death is the latest in a string of blows to Freddie Mac, which owns or guarantees about 13 million mortgages and us the No. 2 mortgage finance company after sibling Fannie Mae.” [AP]

So, uh, the economy doesn’t seem to be doing much, uh, better. The S&P 500 is back down to 1997 levels. 1997! Everybody’s losing their jobs, if they still have jobs. Some are suggesting it will not even be a Merry Christmas, and that the real (Muslim) Jesus is sort of getting a kick out of all this. But do not worry, because some of you will evade foreclosure until January 9. Christmas is back! MORE »

You may recall the second question from Tuesday night’s town hall debate from a young black fellow named Oliver Clark. Clark asked the candidates what the bailout package does for the Average American. McCain responded by attacking Obama for not regulating Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — it was his ONE JOB AND HE BLEW IT — and in the process said to Clark, “You probably never heard of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before this.” Because how would anyone have known about these two mortgage giants that back 70% of the country’s mortgages? Well, it was condescending anyway, and Clark has posted a hilarious message on his Facebook saying that he has like 500 college degrees and calling Walnuts a horrible racist. MORE »

McCAIN’S KLEPTOCRACY: Freddie Mac insiders tell invisible pretend newspaper that McCain campaign manager Rick Davis was actually taking $15,000 a month from the ruined mortgage giant until last month. [New York Times]

• THE BLACKS DID IT: Speaking of Neil Cavuto, here he is blaming the entire financial crisis on Fannie & Freddie loaning to “minorities and risky folks.” Why did Michael Steele Barack Obama lock into mortgages he couldn’t afford? [Media Matters]

Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?” Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their “San Francisco values” companies if you elect them. “What’s next, STARBUCKS?” Marvelous. [ABC News]

WHAT’S ALASKAN FOR ‘IGNORANT’? Asked about the housing collapse and emergency government takeover of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Sarah Palin said they had “gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers.” Both are private corporations — or were until they were bailed out over the weekend by the Bush Administration and, uh, the taxpayers. [Sam Stein/Associated Press]