All of the important DC people are at the Fiscal Responsibility Summit, being eaten by lions, so we have rounded up exclusive insider information about famous-for-DC types being spotted in other places, such as glamorous Naples, Florida back in 2006, or in Los Angeles a couple weeks ago. Click the clicky to learn how Fred Thompson once reacted to an inappropriate joke! MORE »

ALSO, IT’S IN ANACOSTIA: “FORMER Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson is cashing in on next month’s inauguration. A source tells us the ex-Republican presidential candidate and part-time actor, who did 142 episodes of ‘Law & Order,’ is offering to rent his luxury one-bedroom condo in Washington, DC, for five days. The price: $30,000. ‘It has a balcony overlooking the inaugural parade route, the Navy Memorial and the US Capitol, and comes with a reserved parking space,’ said our insider.” It also comes with Fred Thompson, who will lecture you about living beyond your means by staying in his condo. [Page Six]

Here’s Fred Thompson, the laziest presidential candidate ever whose entire platform was to chase Mexicans in his red truck and then kick ‘em in the butt, offering for some reason his take on economics, for eight minutes. He raises a number of good points about our economy being founded on bad credit and overconsumption. He does this from his rich mahogany office with a fancy cigar in his mouth. That is all. [RedState]

Boys and girls, it’s a Thanksgiving miracle — six days early! Our beloved Fred Thompson, the languid, pedicured Southern dandy who made a very sleepy run at the Presidency for about two weeks before returning to his cognacs and backgammon games and expensive Italian colognes, has surfaced again! Even better, he has surfaced to announce his retirement from awful dull vulgar politics. MORE »

We are one week before the election — consider that the next time we have a “Tuesday,” campaigning in the 2007-2008 Presidential Election will be over, our fate thrown into the tabulations of Machines — and the DNC website has the strong lead story, “Watch Obama’s Closing Argument.” The RNC website, conversely, tells you to watch lazy bumbler Fred “Dipshit McGoo” Thompson speak from a fake Oval Office, for two minutes, under the banner of “Straight Talk.” That’s not even Fred Thompson’s fucking slogan! There is just not much confidence coming from the Republican party re: its candidate for president. [GOP.com via MoJo Blog]

Old Dipshit Magee is gonna plain tell folks how’s good ol’ folks goin’ figger times ’bout proper we types need set up Mr. & Missus McPalin needin’ not have a colored for preznit. Let’s liveblog this fucking Gucci-clad Washington lobbyist millionaire fraud Hollywood suit. MORE »

Remember last summer when “real conservatives” were pushing actor Fred Thompson to run for president so as to save the Republican party from the several gay divorcee Mormon liberals also running? And he was like “yeah sure, probably I’ll run or whatever” but didn’t really announce until September, on the Jay Leno program, during a Republican debate that he was too lazy to attend? Well it was during that “probably” time that he launched “imwithfred.com,” his proto-campaign website. And after everyone realized Fred Thompson was a lazy douche and couldn’t win anything, Fred’s people sold this domain name to a bunch of Italian gambling e-entrepreneurs, as you can see in the screen capture above. Vote “Italian Gamblers” for president, the real Republican’s alternative to WALNUTS! [I'm With Fred via The November Blog]

Veteran Condiwatchers thought the ridiculous vice presidential rumors were over and done with, but oh no, there was to be one final, glorious flare-up last week to finally burn them to cinders. What else has America’s Princess Diplomat been up to for the last seven days? Well, it all involves paperweights, cutesy baseball references, Jimmy Carter, and torture! Yay! Find out all about it after the jump.

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A week ago today, we bitterly presented the World’s Worst Wonk’d. The “D.C. celebrity sightings” consisted of George Will buying another fucking book at Borders, and a fireman who had once been on local teevee. We demanded that you people get it together, and you got it together! Huzzah for Wonkette Operatives! This week, Fred Thompson, Robert Mueller, Tom Ridge, Juan Williams, Marion Barry, Ben Bernanke, Ken Mehlman, Robert Novak, Dana Milbank, Mark Warner, and David Frum were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. The most voyeuristic fun ever in Wonkette’s Five Long Years of History, after the jump. MORE »

Grampa Freddy Thompson, the former terrible presidential candidate, has seen his masterful get-rich-quick scheme come full circle — be a small character actor, run for president of the United States for a few months, return as lead A-list Movie Star. He has signed a deal with the William Morris talent agency and, with his new name recognition, will probably be starring in many of this summer’s magnificent blockbusters. Wait, who? [Reuters]

If you played a leading role in disastrous Fred Thompson’s presidential campaign, can you really expect to find employment ever again? Why, you’d be lucky if the U.S. government didn’t deport you to Gitmo for embarrassing America’s good so-so name! One ex-Thompson aide, Sean Hackbarth — the “Co-eCampaign Director” for Grampa Freddy — is finally facing this reality, and it hurts. On his personal blog, Hackbarth posted a shameless, whiny plea under the headline “Job Hunt Continues.” It starts, “After Fred Thompson ended his Presidential run I thought landing a new job wouldn’t be as hard as it has been.” Yes, well, that kind of illogical thinking neatly sums up his current hobo status. MORE »