Wonkette

Jesus, we almost feel sorry for John McCain having to deal with these hacks on the right who are agreeing with Phil Gramm’s characterization of America as a “nation of whiners.” Here’s Fred Barnes, executive editor of Bill Kristol’s Weekly Standard, calling Gramm’s comments “straight talk” and saying that American’s are “whining all the way through” the current Great New Depression. Surely keeping this issue alive and expanding on it is a great way for the Republicans to overtake Barack Obama in the polls. [YouTube via Think Progress]

This week, George Will, Howard Dean, Fred Barnes and James Carville were all spotted being various degrees of “famous for D.C.” at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

We’ve got more than three amigos for you this week because Wonk’d doesn’t take snow days, even in a celebrity storm like this one: Vicente Fox doing his Borat impersonation, Bill Cosby not eating at Ben’s, Fred Barnes with his head in the ground, and Joe “That’s Right Motherfuckers” Lockhart partying with some girls who are way past wild and into ludicrous, also Ludacris.

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No half-assed Christmas puns today, just straight Wonk’d, with Steny Hoyer showing off his pimping skills, Ed Rendell proving he’s a sports fan, Fred Barnes shopping like he could afford not to, and Robert Duvall, who you see here as the same tragic hero you remember. All this, plus the most metrosexual Redskins player, on a team full of them.

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The tipsters have gotten themselves on the “good” list and uncle Wonk’d has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.

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The typical Wonk’d sighting is comprised of two parts. First, the initial spotting - that moment of, “holy shit, it’s XXXX XXXX.” The second part is where it gets interesting: moving in for the kill. Getting a little closer to confirm it is who you think it is, or to get a greeting — but it’s impossible to know how the spottee will react. An equal “hi” for “hi” return is rare, a slight nod seems to be the standard, and the pursed-lip-upward-chin-thrust is if you’re lucky. In today’s Wonk’d see how Howard Dean, William Cohen, and Katherine Heigl respond to being caught. Also, Ken Mehlman’s workout habits, Greta Van Susteren’s travel habits, and the meanest dry cleaner in Chicago, after the jump.

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For some reason, polls by Rasmussen Reports always give Bush a higher approval rating than other leading polls - Gallup, Harris, Fox News. That’s probably the Reason “The Beltway Boys” co-host and journeyman pundit Fred Barnes cites them whenever he wants to re-make the case that Bush is a history-shiftin’ rebel who will lead us joyfully into the Rapture. From last Saturday’s episode of “The Beltway Boys”:

BARNES: Mort, have you been watching Bush’s presidential approval rating not surge, but creep up? MORE »

We were really excited to read Fred Barnes’ super-mega-ultra-must-read in the Weekly Standard, our top number-one source for what the important insider types are chattering about this week (after Dana Milbank’s fun new gimmick, which we’ll get to). MORE »

* Reliable Source: Rep. Patrick Kennedy receives six stitches in his lip after being accidentally struck in the head with a hammer. [WP]
* Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Teresa Heinz Kerry was reportedly restrained by a staffer so Edwards could reach Kerry first after his convention acceptance speech. [NYDN]
* Liz Smith: Fred Barnes wants Rice to replace Cheney, Senor to replace McClellan, and Rove to jump to the RNC. [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Stylist Patricia Field does up Ari Fleischer. [NYP]

Now that Andrew Card has resigned as White House chief of staff, the parlor game has begun. Everyone is speculating: Is this just the first of a string of resignations? If so, who will be heading out the door next? MORE »

• Reliable Source: Rachel Brand is called the “breakout star of the hearings”. . . Accusations of age discrimination at Washingtonian magazine. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Clinton will deliver the eulogy to Eugene McCarthy. . . Bush reads “five to every one [book] that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice reads,” according to Fred Barnes. [WT]
• Liz Smith: Ana Marie Cox says there’s “a cold war of gossip” in Washington.[NYP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Sen. Hillary Clinton kept her distance from Harry Belafonte at Rainbow Room event. [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Russian politician: Condoleezza Rice is “a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men’s attention. Such women are very rough.”. . . Sen. McCain carries lucky compass, lucky feather, lucky penny, lucky rock and a lucky pen. [NYDN]