Tag Archives: frauds

  detroit's flourishing political system

Beloved Detroit Icon Monica Conyers Faces 5 Years For Crooked Sludge Deal

Well, people of Detroit, it appears you did not pray hard enough for Monica Conyers, and now she may have to go to jail for a while. The Detroit City Council President Pro Tem and completely insane violent creep Mrs. Conyers, wife of US Representative John Conyers, pleaded guilty to conspiracy this morning in connection with a glamorous case involving the disposal of sludge. She’s accused of taking a bribe from the sludge people in exchange for voting in favor of their contract. Read more on Beloved Detroit Icon Monica Conyers Faces 5 Years For Crooked Sludge Deal…
  'how to steal fancy clothes'

America’s Biggest Idiot Gets Millions For Someone To Write Her ‘Memoirs’

Remember Sarah Palin, the briefly famous wingnut lady who can’t speak, can’t read and can’t even remember the name of a single newspaper she pretends to read every day? Yeah, she’s getting millions of dollars from HarperCollins to write her “memoirs.” Jesus. She hired a lawyer last year (after she lost the election for McCain) to go after an $11 million advance. Read more on America’s Biggest Idiot Gets Millions For Someone To Write Her ‘Memoirs’…
  so long

Liveblogging Uncle Ted Stevens’ Sad Farewell

Ted Stevens is 85 years old and has served in the United States Senate since Reconstruction. He now has to leave, because he lost his latest re-election bid to some warm-blooded mammal from Anchorage. Join us as he delivers a stirring rendition of “Non, je ne regrette rien” before committing seppuku with a whale tusk. Read more on Liveblogging Uncle Ted Stevens’ Sad Farewell…
  america at a crossroads

Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!

Here’s your favorite Ashley Todd, the little smiling hobbit down there with her pals and her first hero, the Doctor Congressman Ron Paul, with Cowboy Jesus looking on in the background. Ashley’s not a “Real Paultard,” as she decided to root for another candidate after Ron Paul lost miserably. This hypocrisy is considered rather uncouth by the Paultard Council. But she was with the Paultards long enough to learn how to act like a fucking idiot, and this is how we should remember her. We decided the occasion called for a touch of sepia, beg yr pardon. Read more on Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!…
  the most coveted real estate in journalism

NYT Opinion Editor Hires Bono, ‘Jokes’ About How Conservatives Lie

New York Times opinion editor Andrew Rosenthal lost all professional credibility when he hired “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol late last year and then — and then! — called Liberals “intolerant” for not accepting this “serious, respected conservative intellectual” as a particularly edifying addition. Well, Kristol’s one-year contract is almost up, and we’re amazed that Andrew Rosenthal still has a job. Any job. So what’s the fixin’ plan for 2009, Rosenthal? His answer: hire, uh, rock stars such as that U2 guy who cares about AIDS, The Bono. Read more on NYT Opinion Editor Hires Bono, ‘Jokes’ About How Conservatives Lie…
  mama's got a squeeze box

AP McCain Feature Just Chock Full of Awful Metaphors About Accordion Players

It’s the New Associated Press! Less boring facts and whatever, and more shitty, shitty writing like you might find on a Live Journal, for the Retarded. Let’s enjoy some of the dozens of terrible metaphors in today’s AP feature on how John McCain is a shameful old fraud who should be locked in a bag of snakes and dropped down an oil well — no, wait! John McCain is actually like, uh, a person who plays the accordion. Because he’s super old, right?! Uhhh …. Read more on AP McCain Feature Just Chock Full of Awful Metaphors About Accordion Players…
  scandals of international import

Meet John McCain’s Sleazy Montenegrin Con Man Friend!

We know that various lipstick metaphors are the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election following eight years of George W. Bush, but we feel we should mention something about this new HIT PIECE from the liberal Nation magazine. In the above picture, John McCain and his campaign manager Rick Davis are boarding a fancy boat to celebrate McCain’s 70th birthday, 423 years ago. Ha ha, look at freakin’ Walnuts trying to shimmy up that ramp. Anyway, who is that greasy Montenegrin convicted con artist playboy, the one who owned the boat? Read more on Meet John McCain’s Sleazy Montenegrin Con Man Friend!…
  awesome twosome

McCain-Lieberman Ticket Could Be Saltiest, Crustiest Combo Since Kettle Chips

Who would make the most terrible running mate for John McCain, an ill-tempered old fraud who is despised by everybody in the Republican Party? Joe Lieberman, of course — another sour old geezer who is despised by everybody in the Democratic Party! It’s a match made in heaven … and here’s why! Read more on McCain-Lieberman Ticket Could Be Saltiest, Crustiest Combo Since Kettle Chips…
 

You’ll See These John McCain Clips One Million Times By November 4

The worst part about this collection of McCain lies and screwups and mostly lies is that they’re all from the past two years or so — and most are from this campaign. Imagine what’s going to happen when people start digging up quotes and clips from the other seven decades of his famous life. [YouTube] Read more on You’ll See These John McCain Clips One Million Times By November 4…
 

Jenna’s Book About Country Her Grandfather Destroyed

The NYT had some boring “trends” thing last weekend about Jenna Bush and the crazy new trend of having some ghostwritten crap book put out to rehabilitate a political person’s image, and we obviously ignored it … until the curious subject of “Jenna’s book” began to resonate in the usual foul way: Read more on Jenna’s Book About Country Her Grandfather Destroyed…
 

Pelosi’s 100-Hour Reich Already In Ruins

Remember that whole “first 100 hours” business where the victorious Democrats would immediately raise the minimum wage, do some ethics stuff and, most critically, enact every recommendation of the 9/11 Commission? Read more on Pelosi’s 100-Hour Reich Already In Ruins…