frauds
Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup
One of the “fun” things about presidential elections is that every four years there’s a new dumb thing about the process for political junkies to yell at each other about despite the disinterest or genuine disgust of normals, and this year it’s polling! Did Nate Silver’s devil-math suck all the fun out of democracy, forever? [...]
In Michigan, It Is Totally Not Illegal To Pay Your Political ‘Opponents’ To Take A Dive
Back in May, Michigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger (he of your Wonkette’s Do Not Sex list) convinced state Rep. Roy Schmidt to switch parties and join the GOP. Then Bolger and Schmidt hatched a plan to ensure Schmidt wouldn’t have to face an actual opponent in his re-election bid. For democracy! Schmidt waited [...]
Sad Sarah Palin Begging Blogs To Cover Her Squirmish-y Speeches
Squirmish-y grifter Sarah Palin isn’t getting noticed enough by the media she pretends to hate! This is why the multi-millionaire human fraud and political quitter is begging the Huffington Post to please, please, please keep her in the blog-news cycle. It’s one thing to be a gleefully ignorant demagogue to a bunch of unemployed housebound [...]
Don’t Worry, Congress Will Still Get Paid During Gov’t Shutdown
Just in case you were super concerned about how Michele Bachmann and John Boehner and Louie Gohmert and Joe Barton and the rest of America’s corrupt lunatic wingnut legislators would survive the Government Shutdown, don’t worry! They can still get paid, and they probably will — unpaid furloughs are for the commoners, hahahahahahaha. “Lawmakers would [...]
Lifelong Fraud John McCain Is Lifelong Fraud
He was a Maverick! Except, of course, he wasn’t any such thing. He had morals and convictions! Except, he never did, about anything. John McCain never did anything but squander the proud military legacy of his family and then carpetbag his way to Arizona where he smelled money and opportunity. He dumped his crippled wife [...]
You Still Have John McCain To Kick Around, Forever
America’s new Robert Byrd is John McCain, who will never be voted out of the Senate because Arizona Republicans are also too old and confused and stupid to know what’s happening, ever. Hooray for the ex-Maverick! It only cost Juan the last crumbs of his integrity and legacy, and it cost Cindy $20 million. But [...]
Glenn Beck Starts College That Will Be Better Than All Other Colleges, Combined
If you’re like most Americans, you’ve probably always wanted to get a fraud degree online from the University of Phoenix, but are concerned about that institution’s well-known Marxist ideology and don’t want to be brainwashed while trying to get your HVAC Repair certificate. Well, your day is just about to be made, because now you [...]
Jan Brewer’s Dad Did Not Die ‘Fighting the Nazis,’ No Matter What She Says
America’s bravest Fighter of Mexicans, Arizona governor Jan Brewer, just can’t stop talking about all the good reasons to round up brown people and kill them. After all, didn’t the Nazis round up all the Jews and Catholics and Queers and Other Minorities and kill them? Exactly. Oh wait, but the Nazis were the Bad [...]
Eric Cantor Finally Finds Someone Who Threatened Him: A Mentally Ill Person On YouTube Who Claims To Be God
Hooray for History’s Greatest Victim, Eric Cantor! Finally, after police immediately dismissed his bullshit claim that somebody shot up his office (a stray bullet fired at the sky had landed outside his ghetto office in Richmond), authorities have found an actual insane person on YouTube who threatened poor little Eric on YouTube! The same deranged [...]
Traitor Congressman Parker Griffith’s Entire Staff Just Quit
Alabama fraud Parker Griffith, who won his congressional seat as a Democrat but just switched to the GOP because he likes to fuck boys he’s scared of southern teabaggers, got a special karmic present today from his entire staff: They all quit! HA.
Sarah Palin Quits 5K Charity Run, Too
Yikes, did we imply Sarah Palin was acting like a “normal ‘Merikun” in eastern Washington State for Thanksgiving? Sorry about that! Palin was just being a Prima Donna nutcase, like always.
Beloved Detroit Icon Monica Conyers Faces 5 Years For Crooked Sludge Deal
Well, people of Detroit, it appears you did not pray hard enough for Monica Conyers, and now she may have to go to jail for a while. The Detroit City Council President Pro Tem and completely insane violent creep Mrs. Conyers, wife of US Representative John Conyers, pleaded guilty to conspiracy this morning in connection [...]
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