Wonkette

Those interested in the commuting, eating, and theater habits of John Bolton , Evan Bayh, Grover Norquist, and Sam Donaldson will find this week’s Wonk’d to their taste. Those more interested in the handjob “Tucker Carlson” got in a KFC bathroom from one of DC’s famous tranny hookers will also be well served by reading on.

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* Heard on the Hill: Joe Biden has a history of saying crazy, stupid stuff… Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) thrilled to be mentioned by the blog of Bon Appetit magazine… Harry Reid forgot when Valentine’s Day is! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Geraldine Ferraro’s back! With some lobbying firm. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Would you like to read the insane ramblings of consistently-wrong pundit Dick “Hillary Is a Lesbian Vampire” Morris? Here they are, enjoy… Creative Coalition party sounds like a good time. Frank Luntz called himself “the ugliest person in this room.” … Jim Talent’s back! Eatin’ some pizza, talkin’ about god. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Chuck Schumer has imaginary friends. They’re called the Baileys. Last year, they were called the O’Reillys. That’s “too ethnic,” apparently… Gerald Ford had way more nasty things to say about everyone that he didn’t want anyone to hear until he was dead. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: The DCCC is $9 million in debt. Nancy Pelosi spent $30k on her Holiday Party! [Politico]
* Page Six: Bill Clinton doesn’t want to be president of your stupid university. [NYP]
* The Sleuth: More Ford stuff: NYDN reporter got Ford drunk. It has some terrible secret from 1974. [WP]

* Heard on the Hill: John Cornyn, John McCain record promos for weekly televised fascism-porn program 24… First 100 Hours of Democratic Regime started yesterday at 1-ish… Rep. David Wu stopped by security at Longworth. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: It’s remarkably hard to sue Ana Marie Cox. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Terry McAuliffe, Frank Luntz release books… Stupid congressional college football wacky betting shit… New member pins for 110th Congress are RED. [Examiner]
* Rush & Molloy: Some Repubs doubt Rudy Giuliani will actually run for president, because he might not want to stop making lots of money. [NYDN]

Do you want to hear a story about Frank Luntz making a drunken fool of himself? Sure, we all do! Let’s go back to the hazy, crazy early 1990’s: MORE »

Under the Dome: SNL’s Rachel Dratch is invited to fill in for Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) at a primary debate. . . Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) says HBO’s “Big Love” is “just plain trash”. . . Frank Luntz: “Every time I see the Republicans on TV immediately I get a migraine headache. I’m allergic to Republican language.”. . . Peter Gabriel visits Capitol Hill today to advocate against human-rights abuses in Burma. [The Hill]
Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Andrew Card, Alberto Gonzales, Robert Mueller and Joe Albaugh have a less-than inconspicuous dinner out. [NYDN]

* Names & Faces: Bono says he feels “exploited” by the use of his photo in campaign literature for Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi. [WP]
* Washington Whispers: Playboy and Penthouse are banned from State Department newsstands at the request of Condoleezza Rice. . . Josh Bolten recently cut work to watch a few Washington Nationals games. . . Fidel Castro could die within the next few years, American officials contend. . . Frank Luntz has a favorable view of Mark Warner. . . Rep. Nancy Pelosi misses the chocolate she gave up for lent. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Site indicates Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) may have kept a “love nest” with his former chief of staff. . . Jenna once woke Bush up and made him call her then-boyfriend Blake Gottesman after they fought. [NYP]
* Lloyd Groves’s Lowdown: Gore blames Bush for failures surrounding Katrina and 9/11 in the “green issue” of Vanity Fair. [NYDN]
* The Scoop: Susan Sarandon wants national elections to be monitored by a third party: “The last one was an embarrassment. Everybody knew there was fraud, but nothing was done about it.” [MSNBC]

* Reliable Source: Washington welcomes back former German ambassador and his family who were kidnapped in Yemen. [WP]
* Inside the Beltway: Frank Luntz was the most cited pollster in ‘05. . . Domestic coffee interests urge White House to switch to U.S.-made grinds. [WT]

• Reliable Source Top guns Karl Rove, John Negroponte, Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, Michael Chertoff, Carlos Gutierrez, John Warner, Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Myers celebrate the Marines’ 230th birthday. . . Bodyguard reportedly followed Dr. Phil to the bathroon of the Capital Grille. [WP]
• Under the Dome: The WB is developing a D.C.-based soap opera that will show “the town

• Inside the Beltway: Pollster Frank Luntz sold his company, attended the Emmys, advised Schwarzenegger, had his Corvette was stolen, and is slowly writing a book. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Media celebrities and family members honor Peter Jennings at New York memorial service. [NYDN]