Tag: France

Sarah is singing Adele songs in her brain right now.

Sarah Palin Wants To Bone This Fascist French Chick

Honky Snow Princess Sarah Palin has a moist in her underthings, and it is for a French who is also a lady! Sacre bleu, DONCHA BET? Of course, it's not for a normal French lady like Brigitte Bardot or sexxxy Carla Bruni....
He's such a

President Obama Knows Americans Aren’t Dumb Enough To Elect Republican President

President Obama took a moment during a press conference in Paris, where he's saying global warming lies in a French accent with his other presidenting buddies, to give U.S. America a desperately needed vote of confidence: Your president would like you...
I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Dumb Fox Chick Not Scared Of Old Grandma Muslims, Just The Kids

Are you ready for more HYSTERIA OMG SYRIAN MUSLIM REFUGEE PANIC?! Cool, because Fox News lady windsock Andrea Tantaros went to work Wednesday. It's time for another episode of "Outnumbered," where spunky Republican jaw-flappers flap their jaws about stuff...
Easy on the eyes, just saying.

Sexxxy Green Bay Packers Quarterback Tells Refugee Haters To Eat Astroturf

The past few days have been sad and disheartening. We began the weekend mourning with our friends in Paris in the aftermath of terrorist attacks meant to, well, terrorize. And then many of our own American citizens, including Republican...
Pastor Steven Anderson doing his best impression of "death metal." Ayup.

Shame How Ironic Band Name Murdered All Those Parisians :(

This is a song by the band Eagles Of Death Metal, whose Paris show Friday night at the Bataclan was interrupted by thug terrorists murdering people: Now, be truthful. If you had NO IDEA WHO THEY WERE, how many seconds...
They look pretty dangerous, all right.

In Solidarity With Paris, Republican Governors Invite Syrian Refugees To Burn In Hell

Looks like the terrorists are already winning. Following Friday's attacks in Paris by eight terrorists, the governors of Alabama, Michigan, Texas, and Arkansas have announced that they won't accept any Syrian refugees for relocation in their states, because they are...
Common mistake!

Westboro Baptist Church Knows Paris Attacks Happened Because God Hates Frogs

Hip hooray, the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church has offered to lend a hand in the aftermath of the Paris attacks! So of course, they're doing Christ-like things like sending money and medical care and HAHA JUST FOOLIN'. Instead,...
Are the Democrats the party of sexxxy Saturday nights? Sure why not.

We’ll Always Have Paris: Live-Blogging The Democrats’ Sposed-To-Be-Snoozy Saturday Debate

It's Democratic debate time: The Hope-You-Weren't-Trying-To-Enjoy-Your-Saturday-Night Edition! Democrats running for president, plus Martin O'Malley, are gathering to debate Stuff and Things in Iowa. But because of the terrorist attacks in Paris on Friday night, Some Say the candidates should instead debate other...
Keep the lights on

Read These Unterrible Things About Paris If You Want To Feel Better (And Live)

Earlier today, we brought you some of the inevitable political awfulness that hit the interwebs after the Paris attacks. We're Yr Wonkette; political awfulness is our stock in trade. But we also wanted to call your attention to a...
The spire of One World Trade Center was lit in the French flag's colors Friday

Today We Are All Parisians. But Some Of Us Are Complete Idiots.

It's the day after another horrible massacre, and we've now entered the "We know most of the basics" phase, while for many, the "let's make political hay out of this" phase got rolling within the first hour. The "shock,...

Multiple Terrorist Attacks On Paris, President Obama Refuses To Speculate Wildly

On Friday, news broke of an explosion in a bar in Paris. And then of shootings by multiple gunmen in another location in Paris. And then of another explosion outside of the Stade de France, during a soccer game...

Egypt Does Archaeological Dig On Ben Carson’s Brain, Discovers A Idiot

Brilliant neurosurgeon (OR IS HE?) Ben Carson is officially an international disgrace. Congratulations, doctor! You have now joined the elite ranks of several other Republican presidential candidates who have forced foreign nations to "Well, ACTUALLY" them, for their stupidity. Other...

Jeb Bush Surrenders To France, Declares War On Questions

Oh, Jeb. Poor dumb sad sack of cringe-inducing pathetic loser J.E.B. Bush. What kind of stupid did you trip and fall into now? Trying to explain away a prior stupid and just making it worse, as per usual and also as...
Tough questions

Fox News Teaches Dumbass Viewers How To Use New ‘Facebook’ Thing Real Good

BREAKING "FOX & FRIENDS" UPDATE, EVERYONE! Have you heard about the new thing making waves during this election season? It is called "Internets" and it just came out today! And included free of charge on Internets is a new...
How a normal network might report the story

Fox News Knows Obama Personally Ordered Terrorist To Ride That French Train

There's an awful lot to be happy about in the story of the three vacationing Americans, a British executive, and a French passenger who overpowered a would-be terrorist on a high-speed train Friday. Nobody got killed, and even the two...
THOSE CRAZY KIDS!

Sad Mississippi Lovebirds Just Wanted ISIS Honeymoon Of Their Dreams, Is That Wrong?

KIDS THESE DAYS. These two crazy Mississippi kids, Jaelyn Delshaun Young and Muhammad Oka Dakhlalla, had it all, or so they thought. They were in love, they got married, they had planned to fake a honeymoon but instead go...