Nicolas Sarkozy Might Have Sadly Photoshopped His Facebook Photo!
Monday, November 9th, 2009
Here is your annual bit of foreign news from the foreign country of France! France’s “President”—think: the equivalent of America’s “minority whip”—Nicolas Sarkozy posted a Facebook photo on his French Facebook in which he is shown personally destroying the Berlin Wall with a Nicolas Sarkozy-sized ax. Except according to historical evidence dating back to November 9th, 1989 A.D., Sarkozy was actually in Paris at the time. According to European-style geography, it would have been impossible for Sarkozy to be both in Paris and also knocking down the Berlin Wall, located in Berlin. MORE »











Apparently this wasn’t much of a news story when France’s Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand actually wrote it in 2005, but now that he has supported Roman Polanski, everyone is pointing out the part of his memoir where he
“¡Bonjour!” Here is your bit of Foreign News, from the International country of France. France’s “President” (which is like the equivalent of America’s President), Nicholas Sarkozy, went to speak at some auto plant in the Detroit, Michigan region of Normandy. Sarkozy then had the French police divvy up the plant workers into groups of short people and “undesirables.” The undesirables were told to stay away if they know what’s good for them, while the short people were arranged about the 5′5″ Sarkozy in such a way as to make him look taller by comparison. This is called a Sarkozy Complex, and it has plagued many of France’s historical leaders going all the way back to Napoleon.
A number of you have been sending us 

Oh look who’s on the cover of Vanity Fair, and also wearing clothes
Here is a bit of information that will actually make you stupider for knowing it: the planet’s wealthiest nations are run by a cabal of midgets. Russian President Dimitri Medvedev is barely large enough to get on the Ferris wheel at your average theme park, for example. The inverse correlation between height and political power explains
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the French First “Babe,” is prepping her new musical album for release, and some newspaper has already gotten a preview! The