Tag Archives: fox

  lies damned lies and fox news

Fox News Simply Does Not Care For Lying Liar Guest Lying That They Are Liars

If you ever find yourself in the unenviable position of being interviewed on Fox News, there is a very easy way to cut that interview short, apparently! You engage in a nuanced presentation of the issue at hand, and then you simply point out that Fox News is the media wing of the Republican Party and presto chango, you will no longer be talking to Jon Scott or Jenna Lee about asinine bullshit that no one except Fox News cares about. And as a bonus, it will shortly be explained for you how you groveled and apologized! Read more on Fox News Simply Does Not Care For Lying Liar Guest Lying That They Are Liars…
  look at the clouds

Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts

Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed to be unscripted on a far more regular basis, and actually, your Wonkette agrees with this but for different reasons. Also Romney should have hammered Obama more on Benghazi, and made that issue center stage, which is what the American people care about. Forget jobs, let’s focus on Benghazi. Oh and of course, let’s talk about how Chris Christie betrayed the GOP and how liberals were “delirious with joy” over the storm. But what you’re REALLY wondering, Wonketteers, is what O’Reilly thinks the GOP should do about the “demographics problem.” (Well, the so-called liberal media calls it a demographics problem; your Wonkette characterizes it as a “racism problem.”) Read more on Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts…
  he's the ayn randiest!

Stupid Hurricane ‘Victims,’ Let Fox News’ John Stossel Explain Why It Is Awesome To Price Gouge You

Now that Chris Christie has dared to show what used to be the standard amount of deference and respect due to the office of the president, the right wing has pounced on him like Rush Limbaugh on a Dominican hooker. The latest complaint is that he is not allowing oil companies to take advantage of New Jersey’s misfortune and charge whatever they want in storm-stricken neighborhoods filled with desperate people. There are long lines, you see, ever so long lines of people waiting for gasoline, and Chris Christie could fix these long lines if he just let gas stations charge, say, $20 per gallon. Why is Chris Christie a mean man that hates price gouging and by extension, capitalism? Read more on Stupid Hurricane ‘Victims,’ Let Fox News’ John Stossel Explain Why It Is Awesome To Price Gouge You…
  history's worst monster

Fox’s Dana Perino: California Gov. Jerry Brown Is A Dictator Because He Made A Youtube

Did you hear that California — the Golden Dream by the Sea — is having a wee little problem with its economy? What happened was a million years ago some proto-Grover Norquists made it impossible to ever raise taxes in the state, both by requiring a two-thirds supermajority in the Lege and by mandating that property taxes could never go up ever. Then, on top of that, Arnold Schwarzenegger took a ballpeen hammer to a car to symbolize SMASHing the Vehicle License Fee, and whoops! The very next year, California was in the red by … the exact same amount it had foregone in Vehicle License Fees! But everybody got $134 back to go spend at Wal-Mart, so good trade! This has been a problem for California, because it is no longer able to pay for things like world-class educational systems that used to draw people to it, but obviously, all current and historic budget shortfalls are Jerry Brown’s fault because he used to be a hippie, and did you know also Al Gore invented the Internet? Haw haw haw. Anyhoo, now Jerry Brown has announced additional cuts to education and services (he has been pretty Austere already) and also plumped for an infinitesimal rise in the sales tax, and three percent more in income taxes for Facebook founders. How did he do this? In a YOUTUBE. And that makes him just like Evita Peron. Don’t cry for him, Sacramento, etc. Here is Dana Perino, blahing about it on Fox News: Read more on Fox’s Dana Perino: California Gov. Jerry Brown Is A Dictator Because He Made A Youtube…
  when you've lost bill o'reilly you've lost america

Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly

Fox News head and living Cthulu Roger Ailes forwarded to all his underlings some crazy chain emails from the Fox Research department saying George Soros, as a 14-year-old Jew who had been hidden by a Christian family but did not have the grace to stay in the attic, was a total Nazi collaborator who ate Jewish babies and washed them down with communion wine. The one-word response from Bill O’Reilly’s producer? “Ugly.” “So do you want a job or not?” snitted Ailes, sort of, or more properly: “Do you think you guys will use it or should I give it to someone else?” O’Reilly passed, because Roger Ailes’s cherished gotcha about the liberal and big-spending billionaire Soros being a 14-year-old who shoved Jews into ovens was too gross for Bill O’Reilly. But someone else was very very happy to have an hour about it, and that someone was onetime Fox golden calf Glenn Beck. Read more on Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly…
  will work for food

In Embittered Lovers’ War Of Words, Fox Slams Newt Gingrich For Two-Timing With CNN

It was recently reported that Newt Gingrich and Fox News had a tiff. Newt likes attention and Fox had plenty to give, but not to Newt. Fox met a new man. His name is Mitt. He was everything Newt couldn’t be. Newt tried to get Fox to return by opening up his heart and writing a poem, but nothing worked. Newt started seeing CNN later on and recent reports have seen them out on the town together. Rumor has it that Newt and Callista will even be sitting at CNN’s table rather than Fox’s table during the White House Correspondents’ dinner. When Fox learned of Newt courting CNN, she became jealous and a war of words has now ensued. “This is nothing other than Newt auditioning for a windfall of a gig at CNN – that’s the kind of man he is. Not to mention that he’s still bitter about the fact that we terminated his contributor contract.” Read more on In Embittered Lovers’ War Of Words, Fox Slams Newt Gingrich For Two-Timing With CNN…
  the breakup

Bitter Newt Gingrich’s Mouth Writes Fox A Check His Ass Can’t Cash

Newt Gingrich was in Dover having a meeting with 18 Delaware Tea Party leaders. At such a crucial moment in his campaign, he did what any potential chief in command would do. He talked shit about his former boss Fox News for divorcing him for Mitt Romney once he proved to be cancerous to the Republican party. They Newted him at his own game! “I think FOX has been for Romney all the way through. In our experience, Callista and I both believe CNN is less biased than FOX this year. We are more likely to get neutral coverage out of CNN than we are of FOX, and we’re more likely to get distortion out of FOX. That’s just a fact.” Read more on Bitter Newt Gingrich’s Mouth Writes Fox A Check His Ass Can’t Cash…
  stuporman vs. the mole people

Whack-A-Mole: Who Will Rid Rupert Murdoch Of This Turbulent Pest?

On April 10th, Gawker announced that they had a ‘mole’ nestled in the center of Bullshit Mountain known as Fox News. Getting a job at Fox News isn’t exactly easy, and the new hire process is rather unorthodox and was thought to weed out moles. When Gawker secretly told the world of its newly found treasure, Fox released the hounds and claimed to have found the spy within 24 hours. The ‘Fox Mole’ isn’t new to the scene. This is a person who has been there for years, and ‘his’ story reveals more than just white pointed hats and O’Reilly’s sex parties. Read more on Whack-A-Mole: Who Will Rid Rupert Murdoch Of This Turbulent Pest?…
  journamalism

Fox Calls Neo-Nazis Patrolling Sanford ‘Civil Rights Group,’ To Be Fired By National Review (VIDEO!)

Say what you want about National Socialism, at least it’s a fucking ethos. It’s also — have you heard the newest Frank Luntzian reframing? — a civil rights group. Fox affiliate WOFL in Florida had a piece on the National Socialist Party coming to Sanford to patrol the town and make sure no white folks got Reginald Dennyed, and they accidentally (?) called the Nazis a “civil rights group.” They accidentally called them a “civil rights group” in the headline (which has since been changed) and about 27 times throughout the package, and nowhere in the two-minute piece did they mention that the National Socialist Party is more commonly known as “neo-Nazis.” Nor did they find anyone in the entire state of Florida who might take issue with neo-Nazis just cold comin’ down and hangin’ out and bein’ neo-Nazis. In Florida! That is one way to listen to your base made up exclusively of the kinds of people who are defending John Derbyshire in rightwing website comments sections! And that is one way to maybe not be very good journalists? We feel like maybe there is some journalistic standard and/or practice that requires not just blindly accepting whatever people say about themselves and presenting it without question. We are not sure, maybe someone could ask Jay Rosen. Read more on Fox Calls Neo-Nazis Patrolling Sanford ‘Civil Rights Group,’ To Be Fired By National Review (VIDEO!)…
  teach your children well

Fox Nation Calls Michelle Obama Spearchucker

Dude, total good one, Fox Nation: Michelle Obama, who has quickly become the Obama campaign’s tip of the spear when it comes to fundraising and vote-getting, is now stumping for children to convince their “great-grandparents” to vote for her husband. We see what you did there! Read more on Fox Nation Calls Michelle Obama Spearchucker…
  gonna go have a bit of a liedown

Professional Race Baiter Tucker Carlson Calls Pretty Much All Black People ‘Professional Race Baiters’

Wasn’t it nice, a week ago (okay, maybe two), when pretty much the whole country could agree it was a terrible thing that a teenage boy had been killed for being black? And the people who didn’t agree had the sense to keep their goddamn pieholes shut? Don’t you just want to burn down the whole Internet right now? Us too! Now, your Wonkette had just read a charming story about Tucker Carlson palling around with terrorists, and decided if Bill Ayers could be sweet and peaceful in the face of the provocation that is a fucking DUET of Andrew Breitbart and Tucker Carlson, oh, hell, maybe we would stop trying to hurt America too! Dude, fuck that noise. Read more on Professional Race Baiter Tucker Carlson Calls Pretty Much All Black People ‘Professional Race Baiters’…
  fuck it we'll do it live!

Patient Lady Calmly Explains Constitution While Bill O’Reilly Yells (VIDEO)

Admit it, sometimes you have fantasies about going on The O’Reilly Factor and schooling Ol’ Falafel Breath. But then you realize that as soon as you started with your O’Reilly School, he would just cut your mic, so you change your mind and fantasize about a nice cup of soup instead. But this brave lady from the American Constitution Society managed to make it all the way through a segment even with O’Reilly telling her he didn’t have to let her speak; introduced Billo to a few new things called “facts”; and got him to deliver a rare promise: that he would apologize “for being an idiot” if she ended up being right about the Supreme Court finding Obamacare constitutional. More plus superfun video, after the jump! Read more on Patient Lady Calmly Explains Constitution While Bill O’Reilly Yells (VIDEO)…
  corporate welfare

Murdoch’s Sleazy News Corp. Got $4.8 Billion Tax Refund From Washington

We know it’s super important that all giant corporations get HUGE tax breaks and actually never pay any actual taxes in America, so they can all “be more competitive” by laying off all American workers and feeding us a steady diet of EVIL, but you would think somebody in Ronald Reagan Junior’s Barack Obama’s administration would’ve noticed the potential bad Public Relations involved in giving Rupert Murdoch’s Fox & Fiends global propaganda conglomerate a $4.8 billion tax refund after News Corp. managed to not pay any taxes at all, right? UPDATE: And Reuters mysteriously pulls down the entire column — the entire column! — because that’s what always happens when the subject of a business column claims the column is incorrect. Read more on Murdoch’s Sleazy News Corp. Got $4.8 Billion Tax Refund From Washington…
  this is very important to like twelve people

NPR REPORTERS WILL NOT HAVE TO WIPE GIBBS-SPITTLE OFF OF THEIR HIPSTER BUDDY HOLLY GLASSES: “Newsertainment” organization Fox has been assigned Helen Thomas’s old front-row seat in the fetid White House press room by the WHCA. This means that they will have the power to set the national agenda, because Robert Gibbs will actually be able to hear the questions they ask. NPR inherits Fox’s second-row seat, and their reporters’ sensible, mellifluous tones will be like so much musical gobbledygook to whomever is standing at the podium, because they will be so far away. Please stop forwarding that one Facebook petition about this, everybody, because it has failed, like every other Facebook petition. (Thanks to the indefatigable chascates for the tip.) [Huffington Post] Read more on …
  they get free bagels too

SCANDAL: TeeVee Cable News ‘Guests’ Actually Evil Shills From Various War/Death Corporations!

Did you know that the various “experts” and “guests” and “pundits” on the cable-news shows are almost all corporate shills and lobbyists for various death conglomerates? This is true, and actually kind of obvious to many skilled media observers — just these two guys, really — but The Nation would still like you to know the excruciating details. So how about, say, 45,000 words on the subject? YES WE CAN. Read more on SCANDAL: TeeVee Cable News ‘Guests’ Actually Evil Shills From Various War/Death Corporations!…
  propaganda

HERE IS THAT JON STEWART THING WITH BILL O’REILLY: Good thing nobody has jobs anymore, because if they did, they would have to spend today working instead of looking at this interminable video, which is maybe interesting? Or not? Jon Stewart looks awfully … gray, in the face. “You’re lucky you’re not hanging from your thumbs,” says Bill O’Reilly. Seriously, he says this! (P.S. GODDAMN YOU TO HELL FOXNEWS for not having an embed function.) [Fox News] Read more on …
  thursday fun video

How Wasted Could This Local Fox Anchor Have Been?

Absolutely nothing to do with politics here — “an enjoyable post,” in other words — but here is Ernie Anastos, an anchor at the local Fox station in New York, telling his weatherman to “keep fuckin’ that chicken.” ???. Then they show a clip of ladies exercising and he’s like, I want to bone all of them immediately. OH and while we are in this lovely apolitical oasis, today is the best day since whenever because PAVEMENT is getting back together for a world tour! Anyway… “Republicans suck.” [YouTube] Read more on How Wasted Could This Local Fox Anchor Have Been?…
  annals of thwarted journalism

Husband Of Ensign Mistress Wanted To Blab To Fox News

Sorry, folks! This is what passes for SEXY SEX SCANDAL NEWS this June, while “important news” such as the incipient Iranian revolution and doomed healthcare reform dominate our boring news channels. Doug Hampton, the husband of that lady John Ensign had sex with, wrote to Megyn Kelly at Fox News five days before Ensign confessed to the affair. And in the letter he said, in effect, Ensign is such a douche! I am blabbing to you, Megyn Kelly, because you are a lawyer! Read more on Husband Of Ensign Mistress Wanted To Blab To Fox News…
  chumps

TARP-related Treasury Documents Offer New Reasons For Americans To Distrust All Authority

Whoa, weird, Fox Business News has a delightful scoop today! They won a suit against the Treasury to release 10,000 pages in TARP-related government records, and for the good of mankind have already found a couple of funny anecdotes revealing cartoonish confusion and conflict. We’re starting to understand the mechanics of how AIG rips off the federal government so easily: the old racist means of pitting the bureaucrats against each other until they’ve all been killed off. Read more on TARP-related Treasury Documents Offer New Reasons For Americans To Distrust All Authority…
  farewell old chap

Fox’s Brit Hume ‘Just Kind Of Tired Of Doing It’

Oh man, this is sort of sad! Brit Hume, by many measures one of the least offensive Fox News personalities in existence, is stepping down from the anchor’s desk after 12 years because he has lost his enthusiasm for the job. (Quick everybody, quit your job because you are bored!) Twelve years on Fox would be the equivalent of two decades with one of those companies that does the clean-up after a quadruple homicide or a sewer pipe explosion or an invasion of Mold Monsters. Not for the faint of heart. Brit Hume, we salute you! [New York Daily News] Read more on Fox’s Brit Hume ‘Just Kind Of Tired Of Doing It’…
  you take that back now barack obama

Barack Obama Secretly Loved Commissions Before He Hated Them

Oh flippeter floppeter! Remember how Barack Obama made so much fun of John McCain for wanting to form a “9/11 Commission” to investigate the terrorist financial bomb that hit Wall Street this weekend so that the commission could, in a year or two, make a bunch of recommendations for everyone to ignore? Well it turns out that Obama used to love commissions and voted in favor of a number of them over the years, so now he will be found guilty of treason and banished to outer space to count rats forever. [YouTube via Instapundit] Read more on Barack Obama Secretly Loved Commissions Before He Hated Them…