Tag Archives: fox news

  Tomorrow Is Another Day

Sarah Palin Loses Fox News ‘Job’ Again, Guess She’ll Have To Find New ‘Job’

Wait, you're saying she was still on Fox? Huh.
Toll the bells, America, for an era, it endeth: Fox News will not renew Sarah Palin’s contract. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Never again will Fox viewers ever see their Beloved on the telescreen, except for whenever she wants to show up as a non-contracted guest, which will probably be about as often as she actually “worked” for the network after it brought her back the second time: Read more on Sarah Palin Loses Fox News ‘Job’ Again, Guess She’ll Have To Find New ‘Job’…
  man fuck this guy

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

STFU, Huckabee.
When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don’t “want [presidential candidates] to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people of that state but not on the desk of the president,” because clearly the president of America is not president of the individual states that make up America. He also said you can’t assume, based on the actions of one lunatic, and also the state’s official endorsement of the Confederate flag, that the state is racist. The “lone wolf racist” has nothing to do with the lone racist flag, apparently. Read more on Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?…
  NO FAIR!

Fox News Race Experts So Mad Obama Allowed To Use N-Word And They Aren’t

Steve Doocy asked his black friends, so it's okay.
In the aftermath of the Charleston shootings, many people are grasping for answers and trying to have a discussion about enduring racism in the United States and what can be done about it. Wingnuts at Fox News are currently Doing Their Part, by whining about how it’s NO FAIR that President Obama gets to say “nigger” and they don’t, because that’s not racial transcendence! Obama appeared on Marc Maron’s “WTF” podcast, and attempted to have a grown-up conversation about the state of racism today: Read more on Fox News Race Experts So Mad Obama Allowed To Use N-Word And They Aren’t…
  counting down the weekly top stories

And Then Suddenly All Eyes Were On Charleston. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Beautiful souls, each and every one.
Well, Wonkers, it was a sad week, as we, and the nation, became transfixed on the gruesome murders that took the lives of 9 people attending a Bible study at a historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina. And wouldn’t you know it, even amidst such rage and sadness, wingnuts still managed to fuck it up more, by saying some of the grossest things imaginable. And surprise, some of those posts made this week’s top ten! Read more on And Then Suddenly All Eyes Were On Charleston. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Maybe it's a post-racial hate crime

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Confederate flag plates just a coincidence
Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church — after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and “you have to go” — was not really about race: Read more on Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown…
  Gays Not Yet Blamed But It's Still Early

Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion

White dude walks into a black church, shoots and kills nine congregants, the Department of Justice calls it a hate crime — but you know what’s really behind this tragedy? Let’s check in with “pro-life” conservative activist and Fox News contributor Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King — yes, the Dr. King. She’s also a star on the wingnut circuit because she’ll happily tell those wingnuts exactly what they want to hear about how racism is dead and Obama is evil, and her uncle would tell you that if he were here today, yes he would. Read more on Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion…
  fuck off

Rick Santorum Worried Gays Won’t Let America Pray For Charleston Shooting Victims

Can't go wrong with the classics
Rick Santorum joined the chorus of wingnuts commenting Thursday on the senseless murders in Charleston, on the Joe Piscopo radio show, which is apparently a thing. Being Rick Santorum, he started out OK, but then suddenly stepped in a puddle of wingnut shit. Let’s words our way through his comments, to see how it all went so terribly wrong. Read more on Rick Santorum Worried Gays Won’t Let America Pray For Charleston Shooting Victims…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  Why does he always have to politicize everything?

President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun

President Obama spoke briefly about the church shooting in Charleston that left nine dead, in what the Department of Justice and other authorities are investigating as a hate crime. There’s no official word from the feds on what kind of hate crime, so per Fox News and other rightwing “news” outlets, it’s likely the alleged shooter spewed racist epithets and wanted to take his country back from the black congregation because he was primarily motivated by his hatred of Christians, of all races. Read more on President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun…
  You were expecting something else?

Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians

And now this shit
This is something you don’t see every day. Or ever. But the dimwits at “Fox & Friends” are quite upset about an alleged hate crime committed by a white man that left nine people dead in Charleston, South Carolina. (We’d call it terrorism if the suspect were dark-skinned and Muslim, but he’s not, and we all know white men don’t do terrorism.) Read more on Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians…
  Show us on the doll where Obama touched Lady Liberty

Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse

Are your kids safer with Josh Duggar or with THIS GUY?
Pollsters are hilarious sometimes. Talking Points Memo has the results of a new poll from Public Policy Polling, asking people which do they like better:  The Duggar family, kid-touching and all, or Barack Obama? You will be so shocked to find out that a full 67% of folks who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012 still like the Duggars better than Obama, whereas 87% of Obama voters think Obama is better than kid-touchers and the people who cover for them. THERE’S YOUR PARTISAN DIVIDE, AMERICA. Read more on Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse…
  Unfair!

Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally

Boo hoo hoo
Black folks have been enslaved, discriminated against, forced to use separate water fountains, and so many other things over the course of American history, but whew, that’s all over, so there are some white people who would like to get to the REAL racial issue of our day, which is why can’t white people say the word “nigger”? UNFAIR! Tom Burlington was a news anchor for WTXF, the Fox affiliate in Philadelphia, and he lost his job, and a subsequent lawsuit, over his one-man campaign to make it so he could say the N-word, like the blacks do: Read more on Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally…
  but really how DO fuckin' magnets work?

Wingnuts Outraged Juggalos And Fox News Classified As Hate Groups, Except They Weren’t

Not a hate group leader.
When you are a wingnut, you know several things about life: Nobummer is a Muslin; you are NOT EITHER racist; and mean liberals call you a dumb bigot, just because you’re a dumb bigot. They REALLY hate it when the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) classifies one of your extracurricular activities as a “hate group,” when all you’re doing is spreading false, malicious hate against blacks, gays, lesbians, Messicans and others. The great investigative journalist David Neiwert tells us the story of some of these very put-upon wingnuts, getting totally suckered by fake stories about how Fox News and the Juggalos — for the uninitiated, “Juggalos” are the cultish, make-up-wearing, Faygo-drinking fans of the band Insane Clown Posse — were classified as hate groups, except for not. Turn your outrage meter to ELEVENTY: Read more on Wingnuts Outraged Juggalos And Fox News Classified As Hate Groups, Except They Weren’t…
  Give until it hurts.

It’s A Nice Day For A Wonkette Online Baby Shower! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Nothing cuter in the world than the newborn baby burrito. NOTHING.
WONKETTE HAD A BABY, WONKETTE HAD A BABY, WONKETTE HAD A BABY. Hey, did you hear Wonkette had a baby? As you read this, Ms. Donna Rose, daughter of yr Editrix Rebecca and her dashing pixel husband Shy, is on her third full day of being a fully formed, bee-yootiful babby, and her Wonkette uncles and aunt could not be more excited. Read more on It’s A Nice Day For A Wonkette Online Baby Shower! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Everybody loses

Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues

Actual screen shot from Fox episode
So this conservative millennial lady who writes for the National Review picked a fight with this conservative boomer fart guy who “reports” for Fox Business Network, about which of their generations are worse. And we are really struggling because who should we root for? Hahah, trick question, we hope they both lose. Let’s see if we get our wish! Read more on Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues…
  So long farewell aufwiedersehen fuck off

Let’s Remember 11 Times Rupert Murdoch Was A Giant Cretinous Sh*thead

Don't get your old dick caught in the door on the way out.
The day you all feared would come is nigh, Wonkers: Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as CEO of 21st Century Fox and giving the company to his son James, though he will reportedly still be executive chairman of the enterprise and, according to CNBC, will likely “still have the final say on whatever goes on at Fox.” WE KNOW, dry your eyes. So many questions! Will Roger Ailes still have a job? Will Fox News continue to suck so hard? (The answers are “probably” and “definitely.”) Read more on Let’s Remember 11 Times Rupert Murdoch Was A Giant Cretinous Sh*thead…