FOX NEWS, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE: Hillary must have been incensed that Barack Obama would out-right-wing him by appearing on Fox News with Chris Wallace, because she's about to one-up him: Bill O'Reilly, Wednesday night. [Drudge Report]
As promised, Barack Obama singlehandedly defeated a squadron of Fox News anchors at a game of pickup basketball and then he healed the lepers by touching them and sat down for a little chat with Chris Wallace on Sunday. The conversation was all very civilized until Wallace asked about his Muslim flag pin, which was given to him by the Weathermen back when they were Vietnam medics. Ha ha we kid! Even then President Cool maintained his legendary sangfroid. Selected Q&As after the jump.
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Ladies and gentlemen, mark your calendars: Fox News Sunday will air an interview this weekend with Senator Barack Obama, who only appeals to black people and Midwesterners and men and elitists. Now that he's behind in the race by every conceivable measure except the popular vote, pledged delegates, and number of states won, he's turning to Fox News for help reaching out to key demographics who can put him over the top.
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A Boston area cable news host thinks Bill O'Reilly is such a dangerous "mental case" that he should not be the guest of honor at the Boston/New England Emmys. This brave crusader even offers up evidence that O'Reilly's crazy loofah rants are signs of an actual personality disorder or something.
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Last night John McCain appeared on Chris Matthews' Hardball "College Tour," live from Pennsylvania's Villanova University. And who asks the second Student Question but Peter Doocy, and it is about doing shots of whiskey, and he's the personification of Frat, and he's the son of Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy — quite possibly the biggest (yet most harmless) douche on Fox News. They are the same person, except one of them has a national teevee show. The clip is below!
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Barack Obama has been spending the "long weekend" in the Virgin Islands with his family, including the two children he abandoned to pursue his career (as is Obama family tradition). Then this little white girl found Obama, who probably is having some intellectual breakdown about race now, given all the various colors of children running around. [The Page]
Bill O'Reilly is shocked that Huffington Post commenters say mean things about Nancy Reagan and Tony Snow! And so he sent some little man to confront the Hate Queen Arianna Huffington about her hateful hate speech and she had no response except some jibber jabber about how "the Internet works."
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As everybody knows, the hedonists in New York frequently find themselves at the mercy of horrible little animals called "bedbugs" who are attracted to the stench of moral impurity. And recently, a swarm of these bloodsucking parasites overtook the Fox News offices in Midtown Manhattan! Yes, ha ha, it took a little while for employees to figure out the latest foul insect pest wasn't just Hannity's weekend replacement. Now we hear rumors that the source of the infestation has been identified and FIRED.
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TEEVEE MCCAIN FUN: Our old friend Matt Welch — author of the only true book about how John McCain is a total corrupt nut — will be on the Fox News Red Eye program in a few minutes, or actually at 3 a.m. Eastern. If you're riding out that last bit of meth, please tune in! [Reason/DailyGut]
Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly usually filters out all controversial statements from his daily broadcasts, and that’s why he’s America’s favorite teevee personality. But Michelle Obama’s jihadist admission of vitriolic hatred for America yesterday may have finally pushed the stoic O’Reilly over the edge and into the World’s Worst Metaphor: “I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there’s evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels.”
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Thanks to our friends at FoxNews.com, we now know what these Fanatics in Pakistan think about Valentine’s Day, which is Pakistan’s main holiday. So when you crowd into a mediocre restaurant tonight with your primary current sex partner and a hundred other unhappy couples and you all pay $175 for a crappy “Romantic Tasting Menu” and some dried-out cake called “Chocolate Romance Truffle Passion Sponge,” remember that you are fighting the Islamo-Fascists in your own little sad consumer way. [Fox News]
Thank you “Pebble Beach Cavuto” for showing us that WALNUTS! is not only a liberal, but a Democrat as well. [via Crooks and Liars]
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