Tag Archives: fox nation

  Next She'll Say Poverty Causes Crime Or Something

Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores

What a nut!
So you know how from time to time we have a good laugh at the logic of wingnut politicians and preachers who claim a causal link between two obviously disparate things, like “taking prayer out of the schools led to Sandy Hook” or “Gays, abortion, and the ACLU caused 9/11″ — that sort of thing? Well, thank goodness, now the rightwing has an example of a completely insane causal connection being predicted by a Democrat, so we suppose we’d better shut up! You see, California Rep. Barbara Lee has this crazy idea that global warming will turn women into prostitutes! Read more on Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores…
  birth of a catchphrase

CNN Anchor Guy Insults Climate Deniers; Willfully Ignorant F**ksticks Outraged

You know, besides pointing and laughing
A special bouquet of greenhouse flowers goes to CNN anchor Bill Weir for the perfect reply to climate change deniers, please. You see, Weir was not terribly impressed with this Fox Nation story (aggregated from the Washington Times) that mocked Al Gore for attending a climate change meeting in Denver on a chilly, rainy day, because if it’s rainy and cold during the summer, then climate change is a myth, right? Read more on CNN Anchor Guy Insults Climate Deniers; Willfully Ignorant F**ksticks Outraged…
  can't something be done about these liberal race baiters?

Forget ‘White Hispanic'; Daily Caller, Fox, Find White Teen Who Is ‘Black’

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out for a jog. It’s sick and disgusting. But what’s really outrageous, according to Fox & Friends, Fox Nation, WND, the Daily Caller, and former congresscritter Allen West, is the horrifying double standard of the national media and professional race-baiters like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Barack Obama, because they aren’t treating this murder of a white man by three black teens as an outrage, like they did the shooting of Trayvon Martin. Oh, except one of the “three black teens” is white. Also, they were arrested and charged right away, not given a handshake and a “Good job standing your ground, dude!” by the police. Otherwise, the two killings are virtually identical. Read more on Forget ‘White Hispanic'; Daily Caller, Fox, Find White Teen Who Is ‘Black’…
  liberals: hardly working or hardly working?

Fox News Says Ashton Kutcher Is Your New Ayn Rand, America! (Seems To Have Forgotten To Read Its Ayn Rand)

So there is this guy, Ashton Kutcher. We have never given him much thought, as he unaccountably keeps refusing to be Channing Tatum. But he gave a frankly lovely little speech at the Teen Choice Awards (WE KNOW, RIGHT?). It was about hard work, and not “being better” than even a menial job, and about how sexy it is to “be smart, and be thoughtful, and be generous.” That is nice, right? Fox News agrees! “HOT VIDEO: Ashton Kutcher Stuns Teen Choice Awards with Powerful Conservative Speech,” trumpets Fox News’s Fox Nation! Everybody knows liberals just sleep all month until it is time to buy the crab legs with their welfare grift! And conservatives are always honoring the men and women who perform our thankless underpaid jobs! That is just Science Fact! Read more on Fox News Says Ashton Kutcher Is Your New Ayn Rand, America! (Seems To Have Forgotten To Read Its Ayn Rand)…
  please proceed fox nation

Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013

Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch it is Fox Nation, and they are never going to get over the SHOCKING MALFEASANCE that was Candy Crowley’s LIEBRUL LYING LIES in the presidential debate — you remember the one? Please proceed, Governor? — and the gnashing of the teeth and the tearing of the hair and the MY GOD SHUT UP THAT WAS ALMOST FIVE MONTHS AGO. Frank Fahrenkopf, a co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates, and former chairman of the RNC, admitted this week that using liberal crank Candy Crowley as a debate moderator was a mistake. Crowley made history when she jumped in to save a stumbling Obama with a statement on the Benghazi terror strike that later proved false. [AHEM, ED NOTE, NO LINK TO ANYTHING PROVING ANYTHING FALSE BECAUSE SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.] The lapdog media later overwhelmingly gave the debate to Barack Obama. Now the co-chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates are admitting Crowley was a mistake. Read more on Fox Still Bitching About Presidential Debate, Now, In Late February 2013…
  wonkette world o' books

Does Fox Nation (The Website) Lie As Much As Fox News (The Cable Channel)? Probably!

When Americans think of “lying Rupert Murdoch-owned filthyweasels spewing rightwing talking points,” they of course think of Fox News. But There’s a whole ‘nother arm of the Murdoch Bullshit Machine that operates semi-independently of the Fox News domain, and that’s their terrible stinky community website, Fox Nation (motto: “We’re The One That Allows Comments”), which basically is a news aggregation site whose unidentified editors take stories from other sources, slap inflammatory headlines / summaries on ’em, and then presumably spend the rest of the day drinking heavily, which is perhaps the only thing they have in common with Yr Wonkette. While the main Fox News operation is the monster that gets most of the attention from critics like Jon Stewart or Media Matters, Fox Nation is its pimply younger brother, always trying to keep up and usually in need of a shower. Blogger Mark Howard, of NewsCorpse.com, has addressed this inequity by devoting time on his site to a regular feature called “Fox Nation vs. Reality,” and has collected 50 of his favorites into an e-book, Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Community’s Assault On Truth (for Amazon’s Kindle, but also readable with an app for computers & smartphones). Shall we now review this e-book? Yes, we shall. (We shall also announce our coming Wonket Book Club! You probably definitely want to read that.) Read more on Does Fox Nation (The Website) Lie As Much As Fox News (The Cable Channel)? Probably!…
  it's always obama in philadelphia

Fox Nation: Did Obama Voter Fraud All Of Philadelphia?

In fifty-nine Philadelphia voting divisions, Mitt Romney received zero votes. Fifty-nine. Zero. Italics. Fox Nation posts this Philadelphia Inquirer article, leaving their commentariat to worry that maybe Obama totally vote-frauded the city, and Romney would have won if not for Obama’s grand scheme to totally eliminate Republicans from 3.5% of the total precincts in Philadelphia, a city he won with 85% of the vote. Read more on Fox Nation: Did Obama Voter Fraud All Of Philadelphia?…
  pure poetry

Gaze In Awe Upon Fox News’s Six Perfect Words: ‘Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote’

Future generations of scholars and historians* will need look only to six perfect words (or seven if you count the hyphenation) to understand perfectly the first week of November, the year of our lord 2012: “Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote.” It is a headline made for literature, and poetry. It may even surpass the wild beauty of Assume Deer Dead. Read more on Gaze In Awe Upon Fox News’s Six Perfect Words: ‘Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote’…
  roll 1d20 to save

Fox Nation Super-Stoked On Romney’s Domination Of Pre-Debate Coin-Toss

“Say,” you’re probably thinking. “That’s a good-looking nickel. One of those saucy ones from 2005. You could use it to buy a piece of Double Bubble, or maybe you could put in the ‘take a penny, leave a penny’ tray at the gas station if you want to blow minds with your generosity.” But that’s no ordinary nickel; that’s the most politically important metallic disc in the world, and it has personally ensured the crushing defeat of Barack Hussein Nobama at tonight’s debate. BUT HOW COULD A MERE FIVE-CENT PIECE HAVE SUCH POWER??? Read more on Fox Nation Super-Stoked On Romney’s Domination Of Pre-Debate Coin-Toss…
  Rank Indecency

Constitutional Crisis: Wingnuts Furious After Obama Calls Top Navy SEAL ‘Master Chief’ Or Something

Hope you didn’t miss this terribly important story from Fox Nation: When an interviewer with a St. Louis radio station asked the President a question about the election-season attempt to swiftboat him for sending Navy SEALs to kill Osama bin Laden, Obama replied, I’d advise that you talk to General McRaven, who’s in charge of our Special Ops. I think he has a point of view in terms of how deeply I care about what these folks do each and every day to protect our freedom. Aren’t you disgusted by the sheer contempt for America and its heroic American military traditions of America just dripping from that statement? McRaven is a Navy officer, so he is of course an Admiral, not a General! FoxNation was so upset by this error that, in taking the President to task, it was rendered incapable of using indefinite articles: Read more on Constitutional Crisis: Wingnuts Furious After Obama Calls Top Navy SEAL ‘Master Chief’ Or Something…
  one of these things is not like the others

Fox Nation Asks: Paul Ryan And Matt Damon, Separated At Birth?

How is it that nobody until now has noticed the eerie similarity between Hollywood Lieberal Matt Damon (“Matt Damon”) and beefy conservahunk and potential vice president of US America Paul Ryan? They have the same number of eyebrows … They both have hair … Hmmm. Is it possible they do not actually look like each other at all? NO, IDIOT. It is NOT. Read more on Fox Nation Asks: Paul Ryan And Matt Damon, Separated At Birth?…
  nothing good has come of the internet

Fox Nation’s Latest Successful Trolling Effort: ‘Reagan Given Middle Finger In Obama White House’

It’s Friday, should we allow Fox Hip Hop BBQ Nation to troll us? Oh, it’s never a choice. Here’s the latest: “REAGAN GIVEN MIDDLE FINGER IN OBAMA WHITE HOUSE.” The photo shows Barack Obama and Michele Obama and Eric Holder wearing Che shirts and, yes, flipping off St. Ronaldus Magnus. Or are those just some gay people from Philly? Democrats all look the same. Read more on Fox Nation’s Latest Successful Trolling Effort: ‘Reagan Given Middle Finger In Obama White House’…
  fashion news

Geraldo Rivera: Trayvon Martin’s Hoodie ‘Is Responsible’ For His Death

Geraldo Rivera, the Fox News fool who bops around America pretending he is “out in the field” delving into stories that no one else does (in quite such a spectacularly ignorant way), has decided that there is a very good explanation for why Trayvon Martin was shot by a bored and racist man on a power trip: HIS SWEATSHIRT. HIS SWEATSHIRT WITH THE HOOD. In fact, any young person in America wearing a hoodie should be prepared that he may, at any time, be shot to death, according to Geraldo, because what are you hiding under there? A weapon? The weapon that is your face? The thoughts inside your shrouded brain? Read more on Geraldo Rivera: Trayvon Martin’s Hoodie ‘Is Responsible’ For His Death…
  mama said choke you out

Fat Chicago Cop Chokes Kid Out to Rousing Applause of ‘Fox Nation’

Here is a kid probably being an asshole. He is all aggro and in this fat cop’s face even while some pretty girl with long luscious hair tries to stop him by distracting him with her young nubile body. Yup, total jerkwad move, kid. We get it, you have testosterone now. Maybe go smoke a joint or something, jeez. And here is the cop, weighing in at two or three bills (?) and pushing the girl off the young man so he can choke him out with his big fat cop hands until he is prone on the ground with 2 or 300 (?) pounds of fat cop on him. This is what we in the legal community (we are not a part of the legal community) call “excessive use of force” sometimes, at least if the person is white. But what do the legal scholars of Fox Nation think of this video? “Cool!” video after the jump! Read more on Fat Chicago Cop Chokes Kid Out to Rousing Applause of ‘Fox Nation’…
  crazy lady

Stupid Fox Nation Photo Editing Proves Michelle Malkin Is An Idiot

UH, this picture is the best the lazy photo editors at Fox Nation could do to create propaganda illustrations to fit Michelle Malkin’s lunatic rantings about the MASSIVE RACISM of the Wall Street protesters, the latest teatard fiction du jour to prove the Ocupados are just a bunch of cruel hobos. Yes, just look at the sea of 99% white faces! Or don’t, unless you happen to be mainlining the fistfuls of hallucinogenic chemicals that naturally fill Michelle Malkin’s sour brain cells.  Read more on Stupid Fox Nation Photo Editing Proves Michelle Malkin Is An Idiot…
  science proves bill clinton is not allowed to talk about science

Fox News Proves Climate Change Is Fake Since Liar Bill Clinton Says It’s Real

The exasperating cabal of global warming-denier turds who make, eh, we’ll say “the entire planet give or take a few” feel ashamed for America can still hold their heads high, because monstrous fibber Bill Clinton thinks they’re idiots, ergo, they are not. Science as a whole should probably sneak off to a corner and sob, because Bill Clinton is on its team. SO THERE. Read more on Fox News Proves Climate Change Is Fake Since Liar Bill Clinton Says It’s Real…
  let's do the time warp again

Fox Nation Seems To Be Implying Obama Has Been President Since 2000

Jesus, does anything ever go right in this turd country anymore? Poverty lines the streets of America knee-deep with roasted turd chips everywhere you turn. Totally, totally, *head shake*, Fox Nation is with y’all there. They just read this terrible study they will post about, because the study says it found that “child poverty increased in 38 states from 2000 to 2009. As a result, 14.7 million children, 20%, were poor in 2009. That represents a 2.5 million increase from 2000, when 17% of the nation’s youth lived in low-income homes” blah blah that is so terrible, is anyone at all paying attention to this societal depravity, like Fox Nation? See how bad things got from 2000 to 2009? That was a pretty tragic decade. Yeah, what the hell, Obama? Read more on Fox Nation Seems To Be Implying Obama Has Been President Since 2000…
  ugh

Fox Nation Notices There Were Black People At Obama’s Birthday Party

Here is your dumb racist Fox Nation headline screengrab accusing Obama of some kind of secret anti-employment Black Panther birthday celebration, because “hip-hop” is the acceptable derogatory term for “black people things” if you are an old white racist who reads Fox Nation. Why didn’t this barbecue party create jobs? Why is Obama always inviting black people to his parties? Why can’t Obama party with some employed people sometimes? Maybe they would accidentally create some jobs while Obama parties? Read more on Fox Nation Notices There Were Black People At Obama’s Birthday Party…
  what? oh okay

Fox News Warns America About Sinister ‘Gay Pressure’

Excuse our youthful curiosity, Fox Nation, but what is this delicious-sounding Gay Pressure which you speak of? Is it similar to peer pressure, just with tons more “penis”? Maybe! Or maybe it is an ancient Chinese Homo-Puncture technique that relieves “back” problems? Please help us solve this gay mystery in the comments section! Read more on Fox News Warns America About Sinister ‘Gay Pressure’…
  new study proves it

Fox News Viewers Most Uninformed People On Earth

Science has finally proven what was always totally obvious: People who get their news from Fox News are the stupidest fucking idiots to ever exist. These cretins have literally no idea what’s going on, with anything. Whether it’s believing that Republicans opposed TARP (it was a big business Republican program created by the Republican administration of George W. Bush, a Republican) or being unable to comprehend that average temperatures are rapidly rising (because it still snows in winter), the Fox News viewer is dangerous because the Fox News viewer isn’t the kind to just quietly contemplate all the wrong shit they know — they have to talk about it, to everyone, which is why you can no longer even call a motherfucking plumber in this Nation of Idiots without having to politely tell him a hundred times to please shut the hell up about Barack Obama being an African Soviet or whatever. (We know, come on, that’s why we voted for him! Of course we were wrong about that, but whatever.) Read more on Fox News Viewers Most Uninformed People On Earth…
  toilet humor

Teabaggers Finally Accept Being Called Teabaggers

HERE’S THE screengrab. Let teabaggers never whine again about being called “teabaggers,” a natural name they were given in their early days, when actual, physical tea bags were their main weapon. Also, they liked to put their filthy unwashed balls into each others’ mouths. A good time was had by all. Now, according to some video that may or may not be affiliated with anything, they are admitting this. Read more on Teabaggers Finally Accept Being Called Teabaggers…