Tag Archives: fox & friends

  Maybe it's a post-racial hate crime

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Confederate flag plates just a coincidence
Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church — after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and “you have to go” — was not really about race: Read more on Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown…
  Gays Not Yet Blamed But It's Still Early

Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion

White dude walks into a black church, shoots and kills nine congregants, the Department of Justice calls it a hate crime — but you know what’s really behind this tragedy? Let’s check in with “pro-life” conservative activist and Fox News contributor Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King — yes, the Dr. King. She’s also a star on the wingnut circuit because she’ll happily tell those wingnuts exactly what they want to hear about how racism is dead and Obama is evil, and her uncle would tell you that if he were here today, yes he would. Read more on Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion…
  just kidding they're all racist assholes

Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect

Unlike wingnuts, that ugly dog is actually lovable.
Our headline is a flat-out lie. Wednesday night in Charleston, a white gunman identified as Dylann Storm Roof allegedly sat and prayed with black churchgoers at a bible study for an hour, and then opened fire, killing nine people, including the pastor, Clementa Pinckney, who was also a South Carolina state senator. As he continued to shoot, a survivor reports that Roof said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.” Unless this particular church has a reputation for raping our women and taking over our country, that sure sounds like a hate crime, and we don’t mean against Christians. Read more on Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect…
  You were expecting something else?

Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians

He's weeping, and also telling the NRA to go fuck itself with a rusty dildo.
This is something you don’t see every day. Or ever. But the dimwits at “Fox & Friends” are quite upset about an alleged hate crime committed by a white man that left nine people dead in Charleston, South Carolina. (We’d call it terrorism if the suspect were dark-skinned and Muslim, but he’s not, and we all know white men don’t do terrorism.) Read more on Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians…
  Won't Someone Please Think Of The HOA?

Wingnuts Outraged Teen In Bikini Forced Hero Cop To Smack Her Around Some

She probably doesn't like crosseyed pegasi in the pool either.
The National Conversation On The Pool Party Gone Awry in McKinney, Texas, took a familiar turn after the first full day of media exposure. Yr Wonkette was astonished to see that on Sunday, even the nine full-time staffers of Twitchy initially condemned the McKinney police officer, now identified as Cpl. Eric Casebolt, for manhandling a 15-year-old girl in a swimsuit. But by Monday night, they had rejoined their readers in worrying about how All The Blacks are blowing this out of proportion, with a scary story warning that the Nation of Islam and the New Black Panthers were joining the growing protests. And thus was order restored to the WingnuttoSphere. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged Teen In Bikini Forced Hero Cop To Smack Her Around Some…
  bless their dumbass hearts

Fox & Friends: Hillary Clinton Can’t Talk Southern, She Only Lived In Arkansas 18 Years!

One dipshit, two dipshit, three dipshit ...
Let’s Make A Stupid about Hillary Clinton, with the cast of teevee’s Fox & Friends. You see, Wednesday, Hillary Clinton spoke in South Carolina, and not only did she make a joke about how her hair won’t go white in the White House, because she’s been coloring it for years (it was actually pretty funny!), but she said it in a Southern accent, FAKER!!!! She also said that she ate chicken and waffles, which is an obvious lie because Hillary Clinton only eats at Chipotle, and she doesn’t tip. The Fox & Friends couch … well, let’s just say her accent confused them very much. Read more on Fox & Friends: Hillary Clinton Can’t Talk Southern, She Only Lived In Arkansas 18 Years!…
  Little known codicils

Fox & Friends OUTRAGED We Don’t Get To Kill Boston Marathon Bomber Yet

The trifecta of stupid that hosts “Fox & Friends” just learned a new thing on Monday, and that thing is called the appeals process. Turns out that in our soft-on-crime justice system, even someone who is convicted of a crime is legally entitled to appeal, and the Fox bobbleheads think that is some bullshit right there, because you should be able to fry a guilty party up but good, no waiting. Read more on Fox & Friends OUTRAGED We Don’t Get To Kill Boston Marathon Bomber Yet…
  Are There No Jerk Houses?

Fox News Has Thoughts On Obama’s ‘Leeches’ Speech. They Are Bad Thoughts!

Tell 'em about the talents again
Oh, there goes Barack Obama again, beating up on the crusading journalists of Fox News for having the guts to selectively depict poor people as terrible leeches. At a Georgetown University event Tuesday, Obama said media narratives have presented a skewed image of poor people, because outrage sells: Read more on Fox News Has Thoughts On Obama’s ‘Leeches’ Speech. They Are Bad Thoughts!…
  Satan probably did it

Mean GoFundMe Refuses To Raise Cash For Allegedly Murderous Baltimore Cops

Pppppplease!
Why does GoFundMe hate the wingnuts so much? It seems like every day, somebody is putting up a campaign, only to have it canceled, just because the beneficiaries of the sweet wingnut cash quote unquote “broke laws.” First you had them taking down the anti-gay Oregon cake bakers’ GoFundMe, because they were found to be in violation of Oregon civil rights laws. (The owners contend that Satan did it, of course.) Then the gay-hating flower lady, Barronelle Stutzman, had her GoFundMe taken down as well because, oops, she actually violated Washington state laws. And now, the nice Baltimore Fraternal Order Of Police (they are not nice) tried to raise some money for the cops who are charged with murdering Freddie Gray, and their campaign was gone within 41 MINUTES, because apparently raising money for accused murderers isn’t cool anymore, how is that EVEN fair? Read more on Mean GoFundMe Refuses To Raise Cash For Allegedly Murderous Baltimore Cops…
  Finally somebody is giving him the respect he deserves!

Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me

Rick Santorum has finally found a media source that hasn’t been hijacked by the gay-loving liberals, one that quotes him accurately and nicely and conveys the true heart of his messages. WorldNetDaily? NO, not that commie rag. It is ISIS! Read more on Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me…
  Teach Your Children To Shoot Well

Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!

Oh, we get it! 'Permitted' -- like a gun permit! It is a pune, or play on words!
You know who has the toughest time of all in modern America? Patriotic gunhumpers, that’s who. Bad enough that the police threaten them by standing around nearby when they march around in front of public schools playing Open Carry Hero and screaming at the cops. Now we learn that, in the socialist commie state of Nevada, at least, you can be excluded from the pool of potential foster parents simply because you Love America enough to have a concealed weapon permit. Read more on Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!…
  He'll be here all week and try the veal

Dumb Obama Needs Mike Huckabee To Explain Racism To Him Again

Obama needs to watch more Fox News, obviously
Last week, President Obama committed the impeachable high crime of saying some historically accurate things at the National Prayer Breakfast about how Christians have also done some terrorism and violence and bad things in the name of spreading their faith, and they have not been perfect all the time since the first year of anno domini. Read more on Dumb Obama Needs Mike Huckabee To Explain Racism To Him Again…
  Do You Love America Enough? You Probably Don't Love America Enough

Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein

And is India even grateful that we saved them from Saddam Hussein? No they are not.
In case you missed it, the latest litmus test for whether you Love America Enough is whether you are an enthusiastic supporter of the movie American Sniper, which you have to love or you are a hater. You see, Michael Moore said unkind things about the movie’s glorification of snipers, who are the kindest, bravest, warmest most wonderful Americans you’ve never seen because they are invisible like ninjas, and therefore The Entire Left hates America all over again, and now it is the sacred duty of all rightwing media to RAGESCREAM AT THE AMERICA HATERS WHO HATE CHRIS KYLE PERSONALLY AND ARE PISSING ON OUR BOYS’ GRAVES. Read more on Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein…
  Won't someone please think of Steve Doocy?

Obama’s Free Socialist College Plan Unfair To Fox News Idiots!

Weep for him, America
President Barry H. Bamz Obama recently announced a plan to give free community college to everyone who promises to do their homework on time and not fail all the classes. Edumacation is good, and free is good too, since kids these days are drowning in student loan debt, which is bad. (Elizabeth Warren says so, and she knows everything. Don’t argue.) And besides, all the other cool countries are doing it, which might have something to do with why all their kids are smarter at doing the math and the reading and the science than our kids. Read more on Obama’s Free Socialist College Plan Unfair To Fox News Idiots!…
  Crazy Foreigners And Their Crazy Antics

Fox News Just Asking: Does Metric System Make Planes Fall From Sky?

I hear they don't even think in English like we do!
An AirAsia flight carrying 162 people disappeared from radar Sunday, and before the crash site has even been found, Fox News rushed to try to equal CNN in the field of dumb speculation on possible causes of the disaster. On Fox & Friends Sunday, host Anna Kooiman introduced an interview with former FAA official Scott Brenner about how “the different way other countries train their pilots may be the real reason” for the crash, asking Brenner whether the metric system might be at fault: Read more on Fox News Just Asking: Does Metric System Make Planes Fall From Sky?…
  If You Love Someone Let Them Go Wild

Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!

Fox & Klanz
Fox News resident Psychopath psychiatrist Keith Ablow has Thoughts on the murder of two policemen in New York City this weekend. (We’re quite certain you were waiting to hear from him before deciding what you think of the horrific killings.) In addition to calling on New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to admit his personal responsibility for the murders, Ablow also insightfully diagnosed calls for police to be equipped with body cameras and to be trained in methods for de-escalating tense situations as signs of a sick society, calling it insulting to the good judgment of Our Protectors, who have done such an excellent job of protecting us from whatever criminals aren’t in blue uniforms. Read more on Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!…