Tag: fox business

Donald Trump Eats Ted Cruz’s Canadian Bacon: GOP Debate Liveblog

Hey you, wake up! The Republican undercard second-tier losers' debate for extra-loser losers is over and now it's time to watch Donald Trump and the other prime-time losers shout at Fox Business Network for asking mean questions like "Dr. Carson, you...

Carly Fiorina In Three-Way With Mike Huckabee And Rick Santorum … WAIT COME BACK

Gather round, ye wonkers, for the Republican Undercard Cage Match Debate, starring Mean Mike Huckabee, Rick "Santorum" Santorum, and the most terrifyingly vicious fighter of them all, Carly Fiorina, pictured above. Rand Paul, because he is a whiny baby, will...
Killed him a Continuing Resolution when he was only three

Ted Cruz Hates Wall Street, Except When It Pays For His Senate Campaign

Canadian presidential candidate and half-melted wax Sam The Eagle replica Ted Cruz is in trouble this week after the New York Times revealed that his populist "I ran for Senate entirely on my own money" thing was bullcrap, as...
The way we were.

Let’s Watch Donald Trump Deport Ted Cruz On Live TV! Your Republican Debate Preview.

It's time for another Republican debate, aren't you sexcited? Of course you aren't, because there's a Republican debate EVERY GODDAMNED DAY NOW, it seems. There are still 1,067,88leventy86 candidates who still haven't had the good sense to euthanize their...
To be sure, the gay bears tend not to be too overt at mosques

Donald Trump Cool With Shutting Down Mosques Full Of Muslim Bears

Speaking to steaming bag of badger innards Stuart Varney on the Fox Business network, walking slug farm Donald Trump explained Tuesday that he would happily revoke U.S. passports for Americans accused of traveling to fight for ISIS, and that he'd consider closing...
Yep, that Donald Trump sure is a crazy outlier

Muslim-Hatin’ Gun Range Lady Has Thoughts On Syria’s Humanitarian Crisis

Let's say you're preparing a cable TV news segment on fears that radical Muslim terrorists might sneak into America among the 10,000 Syrian refugees President Obama has agreed to accept. (We'll leave aside what a pathetically small number of people...
Sad Ann Coulter is sad

Won’t Some Nice White Person Please Give Ann Coulter A Hug?

Ann Coulter is not doing so well. It's been a rough ride for the original Blonde Conservative Chick, who's looking a little past her pull date, if you know what we mean. (We'd apologize for sounding sexist and ageist,...
Maybe *this* time it's bad for the economy?

Fox Business Very Concerned About All This … Cheap Gasoline?

Here is Stuart Varney on Fox Business today, yapping his elegant lippy about something, do not care, did not watch. But what is that chyron beneath him (which is, unaccountably, all spelled correctly and without discernible factual errors)? It...

Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney

Duh, everybody freaking out about Homeless Big Bird, axing PBS has been dogma on the Right for decades. Everybody in this glorious nation may be shocked at Miffed Romney's...

Birthers Allowed On TeeVee To Point At Birth Certificate, Give ‘Equal Opinion’

Pamela Geller is best known for hating Muslims, but she can be called in to provide the equal-time case for other forms of bigotry too. Here we see Fox Business channel, which is ostensibly a channel about business, but...