fox
Patriotic Millionaire Brings Facts To Fox Ideology Fight
What has two thumbs and hates job creators? Fox News’ Stuart Varney, that’s who! Here, let us watch him argue at a Patriotic Millionaire as he patiently tries to explain why taxing millionaires will help fix the deficit.
Fox Bravely Continues Wars On Nature, Math
Ha ha ha, new Secretary of State John Kerry is going to focus on climate change, what a fag! Everyone knows that climate change is just a theory, duh, and for that matter, so is science! Do you have a scientist who can confirm that E = MC squared? Because we have TEN scientists who [...]
Obama Trying To Take Too Many Guns, Says Man Who Shot Old Man In The Face
Someone has an opinion about something, and that someone is still-undead former vice president/dark lord Dick Cheney, and that something is whether or not we should all have guns with which to shoot old men in the face.
Fox’s Megyn Kelly Accidentally Commits Journalism About Guns
“Blah blah blah Hitler or something executive orders are only okay if you are a Republican INPEACH,” says Jay Sekulow, who heads Pat Robertson’s pathetic conservative fake law outfit. But then Megyn Kelly does something weird: she is all “nuh uh.”
Fox’s ‘The Five’: Algebra Is Liberal Terrorism
We don’t know how Eric Bolling, of Fox braintrust “The Five,” managed to talk about liberal indoctrination with math without even bothering to note that algebra was invented by A-RABS and is a Mooslem plot. But at least he is on the case of the Marxists at Scholastic teaching the distributive property with a worksheet [...]
Scoop! Paul Ryan To Be Next House Speaker, According To Some Secret Random Dude Who Gossiped To Laura Ingraham
We’ve secretly replaced the video of golden succubus Laura Ingraham, passing on some gossip, with the Circle Jerks classic Coup D’Etat. (Don’t worry you are not missing anything. We will tell you what she said.)
Steven Crowder Tent-Gate: 12/11 Was An Inside Job
Remember that awesome video of stereotypical union thug cold wailing on stereotypical Fox News douche Steven Crowder at the Michigan anti-”Right to Work” rally this week? Of course you do, it’s embedded above. Probably you watched it and were like: “I shouldn’t be laughing at this because I’m a hippy Wonketteer librul who knows violence [...]
Terrified ‘War On Men’ Lady Calls For Truce Because Men Like To Kill Things
First Suzanne Venker, Phyllis Schlafly’s niece, wrote a very nice “think piece” for Fox News that was only trying to explain to women for their own good that the way they were comporting themselves (like men’s equals) was making men not want to marry them, because they (women) are angry hairy mannish whores. This made [...]
Ailes: Respected Non-Partisan News Organization ‘Fox’ Did Not Make Hot Monkey Sex On David Petraeus
Sometimes, we like to lie around and wonder stuff. Like, “What is it like being human pile of mildewed old sandwiches Roger Ailes?” Is it fun? We bet it is fun. You can send people to the dungeon; you can order the cutting off of miscreants’ hands. You get to hang out with Shep! It [...]
O’Reilly Launches Next Volley In War On Christmas: Christianity Not Religion
Good morning, Warrers On Christmas. Much has happened since our last intelligence briefing. Last night, Dessert Fox Bill O’Reilly released another video of propaganda from his bunker in the Fortress of Falafel. He did that thing where he invites an opposing viewpoint onto his show, then kicks the shit out of him. From Raw Story: [...]
Fox News Simply Does Not Care For Lying Liar Guest Lying That They Are Liars
If you ever find yourself in the unenviable position of being interviewed on Fox News, there is a very easy way to cut that interview short, apparently! You engage in a nuanced presentation of the issue at hand, and then you simply point out that Fox News is the media wing of the Republican Party [...]
Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts
Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Verbatim Last-Minute FOX NEWS Theatre
INTRO: THE WHO, “WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN” CHYRON: GOP ELECTION OFFICIALS BLOCKED FROM ENTERING POLLING SITES IN PA, JUDGE REINSTATES THEM [B-ROLL: The new New Black Panther, with foxy shades on]
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