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Posts Tagged ‘fourth of july’

FOO FIGHTERS ARE ALSO ALIENS

OOOOOH AHHHHH (Where’s America’s Birth Certificate?)

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Mexican kids are shooting fireworks below ....
This pretty picture shows Michelle and Barack Obama in silhouette, as Washington is bombed by the Independence Day socialist aliens from the planet Hawaii. After a holiday weekend of the desperately unhappy and angry Sarah Palin threatening everyone with lawsuits on Twitter and Facebook, Pete Souza’s picture of a happy couple enjoying the Fourth is like ulcer medicine. And, if you can imagine, it was a WHOLE DIFFERENT WORLD before Palin’s public meltdown. We just read about it in Paul Slansky’s TIME index.


AT LEAST HE WASN'T USING TWITTER

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Born on the Fourth of July ... but where's the BIRTH CERTIFICATE?
OKAY THAT’S A LITTLE FANCIER THAN OUR FOURTH: “President Barack Obama took his own advice Saturday, relaxing on the Fourth of July with some golf, a cookout and a private Foo Fighters concert in the backyard, capped by the annual fireworks show on the National Mall.” [Baltimore Sun/Flickr]


WHY DOES SARAH PALIN HATE REPUBLICANS?

Thanks For Ruining the Teabaggers’ 4th of July Party, Palin!

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Won't you just say goodbye, it's Independence Day ...
Courtesy of Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun, here’s your Fourth of July Blingee, featuring history’s lamest whining quitter. Whether Sarah Palin will be indicted and put in prison forever or not, we will always appreciate her, in our hearts, for ruining the teabaggers’ big plans to have all 500 teabaggers meet in a park somewhere to complain about having socialist parks where they can meet. Sorry, teabaggers! Happy Independence Day, everybody! Click the to watch Barack Obama’s happy July 4th video e-card! MORE »


TAKE THAT LOBSTERBACKS

Independence Day, Wonkabout Style

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

fire!!!This Independence Day is going to be amazing because our savior, Barack Obama, is in the White House, and therefore America is once again a country worth celebrating! Follow our Do’s and Don’ts to make this July 4th the most enjoyable than any since 1776. MORE »


THE DEATH OF FUN

No Iranians Allowed At U.S. Fourth Of July Parties; Iran Reacts, ‘Fine, Losers, We Didn’t Even Want To Go’

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

Because the Obama Administration hates Iran’s freedoms so much, it has rescinded permission for U.S. embassies to invite Iranian diplomats to their Fourth of July parties. Come on, parents, don’t take it out on the kids! Robert Gibbs said the change in policy came about “given the events of the past many days,” referring to Mark Sanford’s cumming. State Department spokesperson Ian Kelly, however, “said no Iranians have accepted” the invitations anyway and “indicated that the U.S. saw little reason for them to, given the political crisis over their disputed presidential election.” Again: maybe they would have accepted if you had promised a Super Soaker war. They’re just like water cannons! [AP]


OH FINE JUST INVITE IRAN

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

This is called a 'Predator drone'MOOOOOM, CAN… CAN MY IRANIAN DIPLOMATIC EQUIVALENT SPEND THE NIGHT, PLEEEEASE?: “In a new overture to Iran, the Obama administration has authorized U.S. embassies around the world to invite Iranian officials to Independence Day parties they host on or around July 4th. A State Department cable sent to all U.S. embassies and consulates late last week said that U.S. diplomats could ask their Iranian counterparts to attend the festivities, which generally feature speeches about American values, fireworks, and, of course, hot dogs and hamburgers.” Slip ‘n’ Slide? Super Soaker proxy war? SPARKLERS? Don’t get cheap, embassies. This is Iran. Pressure. [AP/TPM]


SAD THINGS

George Bush Still Popular In This One Town In Oklahoma

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

He likes corn!If the town of Woodward, Oklahoma wore pants, it would be shitting them right now. The president is coming to visit, you see! No, not that president — the real one, with the sticker. He will make this 4th of July the most exciting holiday since Opal Cornhole’s goat got into the vodka-filled watermelon and spent the evening humping a lamppost. MORE »


TWITS

George Bush Heckled At Thomas Jefferson’s Slave Mansion

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Hello everyone. How were your Fourth of July weeks? Well that’s wonderful. The worst Fourth of July experience this year was probably that of Jesse Helms, who hilariously died. But important founding father Thomas Jefferson also died on the Fourth of July (five, ten years ago-ish), and that’s why President Bush spent his holiday at Jefferson’s house, Monticello, among the ghosts of his “mocha” bastard slave children. And then RADICAL LEFT protest group Code Pink harassed him a bunch of times, just like they did every day when Jefferson lived his naked life with Sacagawea. [YouTube]


MICHELLE MALKIN

Metro Section: Brought To You By Vandelay Industries

Monday, July 3rd, 2006

REMAINDERS

Remainders: The Newly Dry Market For Peach Schnapps

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

* Bush twins unemployment index goes to zero at the same time the Bush twins in DC index goes to zero. Saddest possible trombone plays a solo for every bar owner in Georgetown. [Fresh Politics] MORE »