Tag Archives: fourth amendment

  Here have some news n stuff

This Iowa Cop Knows Everyone Who Plays Frisbee Golf Smokes Weed

Not so fast, man
There are a lot of stereotypes about people who engage in the inhaling of recreational marijuana, and let’s face it, they’re mostly all true, aren’t they? (Not that we would know, of course. [Okay, yeah we would totally know.]) Red eyes, slower reflexes, a ravenous hunger for whatever crappy pizza will deliver in the middle of the night, perhaps even an involuntary burst of inspiration to write some poetry about the beauty of the universe, man. But that doesn’t mean cops have a right to trick you into waiving your Fourth Amendment rights, does it? Check out this video of Officer Aaron King of the Ankney Police Department in Iowa, maybe crossing the line just a bit. Maybe. Read more on This Iowa Cop Knows Everyone Who Plays Frisbee Golf Smokes Weed…
  No points on your record if you repent now

Indiana Traffic Cop Will Save Your Soul With A Warning Ticket And Some Jesus

Stop in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ
Indiana State Trooper Brian Hamilton seems like a super nice guy. He’s the kind of cop who will let you off with a warning ticket if you happen to make an (allegedly) illegal pass. And then he will take that extra step to make sure your soul is good and saved with a few personal questions you can’t choose not to answer on account of how he has you pulled over, and he is a state trooper and all. Read more on Indiana Traffic Cop Will Save Your Soul With A Warning Ticket And Some Jesus…
  Slow Eddie

Boy, That Edward Snowden Really Screwed Up, Says Edward Snowden

Though it’s always nice to be right, we really wish we had been wrong about Edward Snowden. We wish that he truly had been the super-genius martyr for freedom depicted by his most fervent supporters — and, if we’re being honest, by Snowden himself, with his talk of “sacrificing himself” and “risking his life” and so on. But he is not a super-genius martyr. He’s a naive idealist who’s in way over his head. And now, to his credit, it looks like he’s finally ready to acknowledge this: Two sources close to him told the Daily Beast that he “instantly regretted” his appearance on Russian state TV to ask shirtless Russian godhead Vladimir “the Botox Fox” Putin a softball question about Russia’s security apparatus, to which Putin naturally responded with transparent, regime-serving lies. “It certainly didn’t go as he would’ve hoped,” one of these sources said. “I don’t think there’s any shame in saying that he made an error in judgment.” Nope, no shame in that! But where, then, is the shame? Let’s find the shame. Read more on Boy, That Edward Snowden Really Screwed Up, Says Edward Snowden…
  Greetings From This Fucking Airport This Sucks

Your Handy Wonkette Guide To How You Should Feel About Edward Snowden

It has been nearly a month since Edward Snowden woke us from our pleasant dream that the Fourth Amendment was still a thing, yet amazingly, the NSA’s legal-sure-why-not data suck-and-swallow is still a major story. Yr Wonkette loves the taste of crow, so we are fine admitting we were slightly off-base about Snowden being an annoying fame-whore; we are apparently not as smart as Edward Snowden and didn’t understand at first that the chances of NSA sticking as a major national story are increased if Snowden himself is compelling and polarizing. Heck, maybe that’s why he’s continually releasing stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with domestic surveillance, such as that we spy on China, and oh, everyone else, too, even our allies (especially them, the bastards!), as Der Spiegel reported on Sunday. Maybe Snowden is just trying to keep “winning the morning.” Read more on Your Handy Wonkette Guide To How You Should Feel About Edward Snowden…
  what exactly is it you do here anyway?

Someone Please Explain Rand Paul’s Job To Rand Paul

Yr Wonkette has never spent any time in the state of Kentucky, or even known anyone from the state of Kentucky, so we are forced to conclude that the vast majority of Republican voters there are drooling, shuffling imbeciles who spend their free time boring holes in their skulls with dull instruments, for funsies. How else to explain the presence of Rand Paul anywhere outside of that asylum from “American Horror Story?” Read more on Someone Please Explain Rand Paul’s Job To Rand Paul…
  Incorporated Americans

Journalism Hero ‘Twitter’ Bravely Supports First Amendment, Dirty Hippies

Being an Incorporated American is kind of a mixed bag, as we are discovering. Since it is impossible to put Incorporated Americans in jail, or to put their logos and mascots in jail, the only way to punish an Incorporated American is to take away some of its money Speech. We learn this via a brave action by Incorporated American “Twitter,” which has refused to turn over information on some dirty hippie #Occupyer’s twantings and twavings. But unlike, say, “journalism hero” Judy Miller, is there actually any sort of punishment which it might face if it continues to flout some dick judge’s order? Well, no, not really. Read more on Journalism Hero ‘Twitter’ Bravely Supports First Amendment, Dirty Hippies…
  we got your warrant swinging

Breaking: Warrantless Wiretapping Has Been Illegal This Whole Time, Apparently

Oh hi, judicial branch of the United States, how are you serving as a check or balance on the executive and legislative branches of government today? Why, by allowing the federal government to spy on Americans’ communications without warrants or exposure to lawsuits in order to keep us SAFE, of COURSE, which is exactly as the Constitution envisioned? Very good then! Read more on Breaking: Warrantless Wiretapping Has Been Illegal This Whole Time, Apparently…
  great legislative achievements

House Votes to Fight Chinese Spying on Americans With American Spying on Americans

The House of Representatives gave a thundering seal of approval on Thursday to a delightful American version of a News of the World-style private information-stealing initiative except that because it is the American version, it must be bigger and more hairy and makes it particularly not illegal for armies of nosy trolls to collect and search warrant-free through private Internet communications as long as the troll is seated at a computer located in a federal agency office building. The bill, CISPA, is being sold by its bipartisan sponsors with the usual doses of constipated hollering about Chinese spying, which it proposes to solve in part by authorizing mass U.S. spying, on its own citizens. Read more on House Votes to Fight Chinese Spying on Americans With American Spying on Americans…
  worse than abu ghraib

Florida Libertarians Demand Gov’t Intervene To Stop TSA Pat-Downs

TSA pat-downs have somehow become libertarian wingnuts’ favorite new “alien anal probe of death” conspiracy cause, which means they will march around and make demands, to the government, libertarians asking their government for things, and tell the dang government to go do something about it. The Florida Libertarian Party spent its July Fourth weekend writing a big frothing stack of letters to every sheriff in Florida demanding that police arrest TSA agents across the state on the grounds that they believe the pat-downs violate the Fourth Amendment, which is hilarious because we thought judges were in charge of declaring laws unconstitutional. Read more on Florida Libertarians Demand Gov’t Intervene To Stop TSA Pat-Downs…
 

Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Souter Argue Over Who Is More Gay

As Linda Greenhouse reports in today’s Times, Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Souter got a little snippy with each other, in their dueling opinions in Georgia v. Randolph. Justice Souter, writing for the majority, found that the Fourth Amendment was violated when police accepted a wife’s consent to search the premises, since the husband objected. Chief Justice Roberts wrote a vigorous dissent. Read more on Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Souter Argue Over Who Is More Gay…