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Tag: fortune

forget about it lou, i'm an oil man

Plastic Industry-Funded Study Shows Plastic Is Awesome For Planet, Wow!

Also, news about Marissa Mayer and Totino's pizza rolls! But not about Marissa Mayer eating Totino's pizza rolls, because she would never.

Sad Drunk David Brooks Doesn’t Have To Go Home, But He Can’t Stay Here

Poor deeply depressed David Brooks. The New York Times columnist continues his embarrassing public display of utter despair at the decline of his beloved Republican Party, with this drunken rant from a bar: It’s 2 a.m. The bar is closing....
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Wonkette’s Evan Hurst Is World-Famous In Memphis: A Story By Evan Hurst

Oh hi, do you know me? I am one of your Wonkettes, and I am the most famous person in the universe. I am taking a break from having brunch with Taylor Swift, saying "Oh no she di'int" about...
Wonkette's fiance

Rachel Maddow Wants To Gay Marry Yr Wonkette, And We Accept!

Wonkette is pleased to report that we officially exist on the internet, after years of relying on strangers to notice us wearing Wonkette T-shirts and carrying Wonkette tote bags (available in the Wonkette Sweat Shop for the low, low...

Insane, Crabby Lesbian Jack Welch Quits ‘Fortune’ Like A Little Bitch

Hey remember last week? Probably not, it was last week. Well that was when the new jobs numbers came out, putting unemployment below 8 percent for the first time in President Afrika Bambaata's presidency and destroying in one blow...

McCain Strategist Regrets Saying Terrorism Helps McCain

Top McCain strategist Charlie Black -- the one who lobbies for Iran -- dominated this afternoon's 2-hour news cycle by saying in an interview with Fortune magazine that if we had a terrorist attack right now, “Certainly it would...