foreign policy

This is a Thing People Are Discussing, today: smartest being of all time Newt Gingrich declared in an interview that the Palestinian people are “invented” in his grand historical estimation, sort of like how all peoples with their fancy national identities are at one point or another in history also “invented” out of thin air. [...]

One lonely little Heritage Foundation blogger weenie has stumbled upon the ultimate smoking gun of rock solid evidence that Barack Obama is a hopeless fool who could not pass the fifth grade: he accidentally said “English Embassy,” a thing which does not exist, when he was dutifully expressing his required disapproval of recent attacks on [...]

Herman Cain is visiting Miami these days to absorb a little of the local culture and make nice with some Latino voters, and maybe even learn a little bit from one of their many languages! Surrounded by much fanfare, Cain enjoyed a pastry at the [Versailles Restaurant's] bakery, asking at one point with his mouth [...]

The lamestream media has bedeviled Herman Cain with another one of its merciless “gotcha” questions: how does the Herman Cain view China’s military? Aww, shit…. hm. They’re bad? They’re just really bad, super seriously awful and peace, Herman wants peace, so more money for more American bombs, for peace, America is awesome, we rule, God, [...]

Pizza shill vanity campaigner Herman Cain has inexplicably not yet exhausted his six seconds of GOP presidential field relevancy, so we must listen to him doing this thing… speaking in tongues here, in an interview, in a dark cave? “UBEKI BEKI BEKI BEKI BAH BAH STAN O BAN STAN SO WHUT WHUT,” he says. Hm, [...]

The United States, which long supported Yemen’s president, even in the face of recent widespread protests, has now quietly shifted positions and has concluded that he is unlikely to bring about the required reforms and must be eased out of office, according to American and Yemeni officials. The Obama administration had maintained its support of [...]

The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you’re so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal with Arab countries to vote for a statement saying it “does not accept the legitimacy of [...]

“We want to be able to trust those who are screaming for democracy there in Egypt, that it is a true sincere desire for freedoms. And the challenge that we have though, is how do we verify what it is that we are being told?” Aha! Those people couldn’t truly want democracy. They’re Muslim. Nice [...]

Israel has pundits, like every uncivilized civilized country on Earth. And they no longer care for this Obama fellow. “A Bullet in the Back from Uncle Sam,” writes one, Aviad Pohoryles, who sounds alternatively very Jewish and like he’s a friend of Harry Potter. Yes, it turns out the United States is supposed to support [...]

In Tuesday’s State of the Union address, Barack Obama did what every president does in that thing: He praised people around the world who rose up for democracy and against authoritarian regimes. It was because these people Thought Big and American that freedom would Win the Future! But though Obama praised voters in Sudan and [...]

Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU [...]

Oh, thank you, North Korean YouTube, that almost looks like a real news segment! Yes, Kim Jong-il gets to paste together another fun photo collage of him with a former American president, and America gets back one of its citizens. It’s a win-win situation! So Jimmy Carter has arrived, and here he is receiving flowers [...]

The Moon: it’s America’s moon! We put our flag there, and thus according to the international legal principles of “firsties” and “fuck off, we’re using it,” it is OURS. But according to NASA, the Moon is shrinking. SHUT UP, NASA. Our moon is fine. Every country we’ve ever shown it to says so. You know, [...]

Sharron Angle was forced to speak words yesterday, as she has yet to come up with the brilliant idea to have her campaign say she has a throat infection that makes her mute for the next few months. “The United Nations resides on our soil and costs us money. We are — I don’t see [...]

Any questions? [New York Times]


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