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Posts Tagged ‘foreign policy’

Liveblogging Debate Night Pre-Show: What Do Dumb Anchors ‘Predict’?

Friday, September 26th, 2008

That’s WALNUTS! after downing his fifteen nightly Ambien. What a nut. But, he showed up for tonight’s debate, and that’s more than he was planning on yesterday! So give him credit HE WAS IN THE WAR FOR CHRIST’S SAKE JESUS. Anyway: tonight’s debate is about race. No. Foreign policy… of race? we have four 40s for the night but still have some vague idea of what’s going on at the moment. Let’s watch, uh, MSNBC CNN or something, sure, and get drunker faster better before the “show” starts. We’ll be having a new liveblog every half-hour tonight. MORE »


Presumptuous Sarah Palin To Meet With World Leaders

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

International superstar!Well looky here at who’s getting too big for her lipsticks! It’s the most presumptuous celebrity in the world, Alaskan teleprompter fraud Sarah Palin. She’ll be meeting with various foreign dignitaries at the U.N. next week in order to show dubious Americans that she can, uh, sit down for crab cakes and fizzy water with the Sultan of Dubai. We are pretty sure this is tantamount to treason, meeting with all these people who can’t even vote in America. How nauseating to see somebody showboating around all glamorous-like with international superstars when there’s real work to do at home in the Real America (not New York). COUNTRY FIRST, PALIN. [Washington Wire]


Here Is Your Video Of Sarah Palin Not Knowing What The Bush Doctrine Is

Friday, September 12th, 2008

And, as Robert Baird points out, she doesn’t even seem to know what a “doctrine” is, a la Monroe or Truman. When will people quit picking on the Republican vice presidential nominee for her complete lack of acquaintance with American history and current affairs? SHE WAS A MAYOR, YOU KNOW, WITH A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITIES. [digital emunction/YouTube]


Sarah Palin On Possible War With Russia: “Perhaps”

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

Excerpts have leaked from Charlie Gibson’s first of three interviews with Sarah Palin, which will be aired in some form tonight on his ABC News show. We were expecting a puffy sort of chit-chat, and it mostly is, except for the part where they talk about WAR WITH FREAKING RUSSIA. Now, when you run around saying Georgia and Ukraine should be let into NATO — as both John McCain and Barack Obama do — as some reward for establishing a vaguely democratic government, that’s much more than a harmless platitude — there are actual, real-world implications! No one has really bothered to push McCain or Obama on this, which is why it’s so hilarious that Gibson pushed Palin on it during her first big interview. And she fucked up. MORE »


Bill Kristol Writes New Partisan Column That Compromises Everything He Pretends To Stand For

Monday, September 8th, 2008

New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol today continues his titular free fall from superficially respectable-sounding “foreign policy conservative” to “comically shameless Republican purveyor of cynical misinformation who does not actually believe in or fact-check anything.” We recommend you sit down before reading this snippet from today’s column: “Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No.” He adds that Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman were both new to the scene when their bosses croaked in office, and they turned out just fine. This is the same Bill Kristol who has spent all summer deriding Barack Obama’s relative youth and inexperience. Why do we even bother… MORE »


Friday, August 29th, 2008
  • SARAH PALIN’S EXTENSIVE MILITARY EXPERIENCE: From a McCain statement about Sarah Palin: “As the head of Alaska’s National Guard and as the mother of a soldier herself, Gov. Palin understands what it takes to lead our nation and she understands the importance of supporting our troops.” And under Palin’s leadership, the Alaskan National Guard has pummeled northeastern Russia (our new Death Enemy) with some NUCLEAR WARBOMBS FROM SPACE, so we’re all set. [AP]

Nation Of Belligerent Warmongering Morons

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Typical voter“Neoconservatism’s problem, and electoral advantage, is one and the same: By escalating international problems into monumental crises and impending threats, interventionists such as John McCain have been able to appear knowledgeable, ’serious,’ and presidentially tough, all at once. Any competitor preaching policy restraint and rhetorical prudence looks like a wuss in comparison.” This is why John McCain will win the presidency and we will be plunged into another decade of war and bankruptcy, concurrent with a precipitous decline into global irrelevance, loss of empire, roving zombie hordes, etc. [Reason]


Also, Barack Obama Is A Moron

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

Barack Obama’s had his big interview with Katie Couric, and we have excerpts! Somehow, he seems to let Katie Couric trap him, too, with regards to the Surge. She asks him, at one point, if, Given What We Know Now about declined violence in Iraq, he would’ve supported the Surge last year, hmm? Rather than offer his very logical strategic position on this, he tries to make it an economic issue, about how much these damn wars cost during a time when no one has a home in America. Move the debate back home, but let “The Surge Worked” live yet another day. FTW. MORE »


Monday, July 14th, 2008
  • OHHHH WALNUTS!: Foreign Policy expert John McCain told reporters at a press avail today that he was concerned about “a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days,” including “reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia.” And this is why we must bomb Persia and its shifty-eyed Sultan. [Think Progress]

Monday, April 28th, 2008

WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]


Defiant Samantha Power Apologizes For Monster Comment But Nothing Else

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Blar blar blar, fiery Irish temper blarIn a controversial address at Columbia University School of Law on Tuesday, the controversial contrarian and former Obama advisor Samantha Power admitted she was sorry about calling Hillary Clinton a monster that one time. However, she did not request backsies on any of the other shocking garbage she uttered in her tenure as Barack Obama’s foreign policy wonk. MORE »


John McCain Delivers Comical Foreign Policy Speech

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Our favorite dumb presidential candidate, John “WALNUTS!” McCain, delivered a “major foreign policy address” today, and it was about war and diplomacy, the latter of which he will never use. Since the media is distracted by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, McCain can say (and has said!) all sorts of raving dementia-babble and no one will care, because he is a Maverick. But just for kicks, what hilarious things did he say in his speech? MORE »


Clinton ‘Managed Crisis’ With Sinbad, Sheryl Crow

Friday, March 7th, 2008

The elder statesman at the Microsoft Windows Media 9 Launch in 2002The story about Hillary Clinton’s harrowing 1996 trip to Bosnia with esteemed international dignitaries Chelsea Clinton, Sinbad and Sheryl Crow pops up occasionally in the news. To the untrained reader, that trip might seem like the sort of diplomacy-lite errand that First Ladies occasionally run for their husbands. But for Hillary Clinton, that experience makes her tested and ready to serve on Day One. And now another Obama advisor is cheating by bringing up this visit, again, with the press. MORE »


Hillary’s New Ad May Not Be Complete Political Embarrassment

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

Now this is a peculiar strategy for the Clinton campaign. They seem to be eschewing their central Obama attacks — his kindergarten record, horrific plagiarism, being a Negro — for a criticism of his foreign policy judgment, and they’re using “solid evidence” from his Senate career to support it. Isn’t that mean and unfair of Hillary Clinton? Check out this new “issues-based” ad after the jump. MORE »