Remember the Housing Bubble and the gazillion bullshit mortgages that caused the entire global economy to collapse and send us into a terrible World Depression? It’s still going down! The housing crash, that is — one in eight homeowners is now either in default or in foreclosure, a new record! MORE »

NATION OF UNDERWATER HOMEOWNERS: According to some estimates, about 20 percent of people with mortgages owe more on their homes than what they’re actually worth. Your mileage may vary depending on whether there are a lot of foreclosures in your area, because fire-sale pricing will naturally depress surrounding home values even more than just a gradual dropoff in the sales price of non-foreclosed homes. Also, owing 105% of your house’s value is a hell of a lot better than owing, say, 200%, but both count as “underwater.” The bottom line is this: if you own real estate of any sort, you are DOOMED, forever, to an eternity of anal invasion by Mortgage Demons bearing poison-tipped pitchforks. [Wall Street Journal]

America might be busy ejaculating in its collective pants about the end of Racism and the beginning of Hope, but that doesn’t stop our nation’s bankers from the very important work of booting the elderly from their homes. That’s right, our mortgage-foreclosure-housing-bubble crisis marches on, and it looks like the next stop on the hobo train is swank Beverly Hills, where former Johnny Carson sidekick and Howard Stern prank call subject Ed McMahon has run into some financial troubles. MORE »