Tag Archives: foreclosure

  a chicken in every pot to piss in

Washington D.C. Poors Who Somehow Managed To Purchase Homes Still Getting Royally Boned

Imagine you’ve been asked to come up with a process to collect unpaid property taxes, and because you’re a terrible person you’ve decided that your process will be as painful as possible for the property owners while remaining at least tenuously legal. Do you think you could do better than Washington, D.C., where private investors who buy liens are permitted to inflate the amount property owners owe by tacking on thousands of dollars in legal fees and interest, then moving to foreclose and take sole possession of the property as soon as the statutory six month payment window is closed? We bet you could not! One retired widower Marine’s $134 property tax delinquency became $4,999 after it was purchased by a private investor and larded up with fees. He lost his home. The whole thing. That was worth $197,000. If you need us, we’ll be at the barricades. Read more on Washington D.C. Poors Who Somehow Managed To Purchase Homes Still Getting Royally Boned…
  run on banks

Wells Fargo Bills Elderly Disabled Veteran To Death Over Typo

Every day, we wake up thinking that we cannot possibly dislike the banks (and their enablers) more than we did them the day before, and most of the days we are right, and our fear and loathing glides along on a steady keel. But once in a while we are proven wrong and learn of something so horrible that we are forced to critically examine our current stance towards the banks (and their enablers), and inevitably conclude that the intensity of our feelings requires revisiting. Today was such a day, because today we learned of Larry Delassus, a disabled veteran who dropped dead in court while fighting Wells Fargo about their mistaken foreclosure on his house: Read more on Wells Fargo Bills Elderly Disabled Veteran To Death Over Typo…
  Jerb-Killing regulation

Banks Will Now Review Themselves to Find Out if They Did Your Foreclosure Right

Well this will save everyone a lot of time! Banks are just going to go ahead and do a rigorous self-review to see if they handled foreclosures correctly. Of course, most of them have not handled foreclosures correctly, remember when Wells Fargo foreclosed on the wrong house? Twice? And remember when Bank of America did the same thing? (In fairness, BofA only did it once, not twice, so let’s have a round of applause for Bank of America!) How about the time Citi-Residential auctioned off the wrong house at a foreclosure sale? We pretty much have just four main banks in the U.S. now, and JP Morgan doesn’t do much retail banking, so in sum: three out of three major banks have screwed up on handling foreclosures. Good job America! USA! USA! Anyway, a bunch of very smart people put their heads together and decided that the best way to handle this was to 1) start a fake task force that is supposed to investigate mortgage fraud, but in reality, does nothing, and 2) let banks review themselves because it would just be more efficient that way. Read more on Banks Will Now Review Themselves to Find Out if They Did Your Foreclosure Right…
  location location location

Marco Rubio Can’t Wait To Get Out Of Middle Class Hell-Hole

Marco Rubio talked last night, we are told (we couldn’t hear him over the yowling noises coming from his Sad Hairs), about some stuff. Like the middle class, and how he is middle class, and how he loves living among the middle class and you won’t find him leaving his beloved middle class neighborhood to hang out with the Limousine Ayerses in Hyde Park (probably). So let’s look at the $675,000 real estate listing for the middle class home Rubio is trying to sell, so he can decamp with his family to tony DC! Read more on Marco Rubio Can’t Wait To Get Out Of Middle Class Hell-Hole…
  governor sammiches

Who Is Chris Christie Yelling at Today?

Here, enjoy this video of Chris Christie screaming at a reporter from New York who has the NERVE to ask him a follow-up question about the foreclosure fund. Why is New Jersey dead-last in the nation in terms of implementing a bunch of programs to help homeowners avoid foreclosure, the reporter may have wanted to ask? Or, alternatively, he might have wanted to say something like: that $300,000,000 the feds gave you—why are you not using it to help homeowners? Except we’re not sure what the reporter was trying to ask, because Chris Christie immediately starts yelling about blue moons and New Yorkers from out of town and HOW DARE HE, given that he (the reporter, not Chris Christie, “has his facts wrong”). Read more on Who Is Chris Christie Yelling at Today?…
  banksters

Wells Fargo Even Sorrier After Second Time It Foreclosed on Wrong House

Remember that nice couple we told you about last week — the Tjosaas family, whose home in Twenty-Nine Palms was “accidentally” foreclosed upon by Wells Fargo even though the couple didn’t even have a mortgage? Turns out: this was the SECOND TIME that Wells Fargo had “accidentally” foreclosed on that house by mistake, but it’s cool because Wells Fargo remains “deeply sorry” about both “unfortunate situations.” The good news is that the Tjosaas family can now “accidentally” rob a Wells Fargo bank of their choice (twice) and issue a statement that they are “deeply sorry about this unfortunate situation” and then all will be forgiven. Ha! Ha! Ha! This, of course, is not true — Incorporated Americans are somehow not people when they are committing crimes, but non-Incorporated Americans are always people. Read more on Wells Fargo Even Sorrier After Second Time It Foreclosed on Wrong House…
  banksters

Wells Fargo Accidentally Forecloses on Wrong House, Throws Away Couple’s Precious Memories

Hello, would you like to hear a heartwarming story about banks? Oh good, because last week, a bank accidentally foreclosed on the wrong house and a nice middle aged couple lost everything that wasn’t nailed down and can never get it back, ever again. Sorry, precious memories, about going to the wrong address and all. Hindsight is 20/20, etc! Read more on Wells Fargo Accidentally Forecloses on Wrong House, Throws Away Couple’s Precious Memories…
  this is halloween

Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families

The first reaction most decent people will have when seeing these pictures of last year’s Halloween costume party at the foreclosure mill law offices of Steven J. Baum is overwhelming disgust and nausea, followed by an overwhelming desire to storm these offices on Monday and “make an example.” But the employees of Steven J. Baum are, ultimately, wage slaves to the institutionalized cruelty and dehumanization that defines America’s economic system. The people pictured here look like legal assistants and secretaries and paralegals and receptionists and file clerks and low-level litigators, all probably underwater on their own mortgages and all much closer to economic catastrophe than they’d care to admit — this firm is in a suburb of Buffalo, after all. It is crucial that the Steven J. Baums of the world force their own wage slaves into opposition against the rest of the nation’s wage slaves. This is why Oakland’s police officers, many of them military veterans, are so ready to viciously attack other military veterans. It’s why a “Tea Party” of Ron Paul supporters was hijacked by the billionaire Koch Brothers and turned into a manufactured outrage of middle-class whites against middle-class whites (and the minorities and lower classes, as always). Read more on Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families…
 

Obama’s Illegal Libyan War Costing $1.1 Billion, Biden Still After That $125 Tortoise Website

Libya, wherever that is, is costing America $1.1 Billion, just for the summer. At least $716 Million has already been thrown at Libya in the form of bombs. Somewhere, we’ve also got this figure that shows the Obama Administration has spent $2 Billion of the nearly $50 Billion budgeted and set aside to help people in foreclosure keep their homes — there’s enough to keep millions of people in their houses, in America, but for some mysterious reason the money does not get to the families, who continue to lose their homes. Oh well, at least these families are being bombed (yet) by U.S. robot drones and jet fighters, the way mommies and babies are being wholesale slaughtered in Yemen and Libya and Pakistan and Iraq and Afghanistan and … we think that’s all, right now? Except for Colombia and those such places. Wow. Read more on Obama’s Illegal Libyan War Costing $1.1 Billion, Biden Still After That $125 Tortoise Website…
  people helping people

House GOP Kills Program That Stopped 600,000 Foreclosures

The U.S. economy will continue to be terrible, as far as jobs and housing and state tax revenues, as long as the Housing Crisis continues. And, based on today’s news and basically all housing news for several years now, the collapse of the Housing Bubble is an ongoing catastrophe — with prices still falling, terrible loans still “resetting,” 9% unemployment sending ever more families into default, 14 million homeowners “underwater,” 3 million foreclosures last year and another 3 million foreclosures expected this year. How might the House Republicans help America “get back to work” or whatever? By eliminating the four federal programs that have helped 1.5 million homeowners temporarily reset their mortgages and 600,000 permanently modify their loans to more affordable amounts. Read more on House GOP Kills Program That Stopped 600,000 Foreclosures…
  stop it

EXCLUSIVE Video Tour of Bristol Palin’s Foreclosed Stucco Dump

Oh good gravy, one of those celebrity teevee shows has an EXCLUSIVE video of somebody walking around while Bristol ‘n Tripp show off the empty foreclosed Arizona exurban cotton-field end-of-the-highway stucco box that she bought with CA$H because people have given her hundreds of thousands of dollars for managing to get pregnant as a teenager while being Sarah Palin’s daughter. YOU JUST TRY that, and then let’s see who laughs. It takes talent to be born into that snowbilly grifter family! Read more on EXCLUSIVE Video Tour of Bristol Palin’s Foreclosed Stucco Dump…
  visions of america

‘New American Home’ Is Vulgar Monument To America’s Tacky Dreams

Nothing else legal is as evil as the American Housebuilding Industry. Pretty much everything wrong with this country — from the oil wars it fights abroad to the morally crippled exurban old people at Tea Party rallies to their unwanted adult children living in squalid fourth-ring apartment complexes on a diet of SSI and methamphetamine — can be blamed on the boom-bust construction-financing cycle of destructive, mindless residential tract cancer growths across this once-pretty nation. But even after the massive global disaster caused by the American construction/mortgage Ponzi scheme, there’s still a residential construction industry! And it is having a festival or convention or whatever, in Florida (obvs), and it is here that these awful people anointed the 8,400-square-feet single-family mausoleum you see here as the “New American Home of 2011.” Read more on ‘New American Home’ Is Vulgar Monument To America’s Tacky Dreams…
  and marco rubio has his own foreclosure!

Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit

America’s favorite recently-married orange Floridian, Governor Charlie Crist, had to quit the Republican Party because the teabaggers didn’t want him to be the new U.S. senator. Why do teabaggers hate Republicans so much? Doesn’t matter! Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate, while dumb wingnut Marco Rubio is currently 11 points down and Democrat Rep. Kendrick Meek has dropped way down to third place but is at least ahead of gross gazillionaire Jeff Greene — the Democratic nomination won’t be settled until August 24, and Greene may well buy the race for himself, and then he can celebrate with his special friends Heidi Fleiss and Mike Tyson (both of whom are on Florida’s currency and/or license plate.) Read more on Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit…
  today we are all edmund andrews

There’s a 13% Chance You’re Not Making Your House Payment

Remember the Housing Bubble and the gazillion bullshit mortgages that caused the entire global economy to collapse and send us into a terrible World Depression? It’s still going down! The housing crash, that is — one in eight homeowners is now either in default or in foreclosure, a new record! Read more on There’s a 13% Chance You’re Not Making Your House Payment…
  annals of real estate disaster

NATION OF UNDERWATER HOMEOWNERS: According to some estimates, about 20 percent of people with mortgages owe more on their homes than what they’re actually worth. Your mileage may vary depending on whether there are a lot of foreclosures in your area, because fire-sale pricing will naturally depress surrounding home values even more than just a gradual dropoff in the sales price of non-foreclosed homes. Also, owing 105% of your house’s value is a hell of a lot better than owing, say, 200%, but both count as “underwater.” The bottom line is this: if you own real estate of any sort, you are DOOMED, forever, to an eternity of anal invasion by Mortgage Demons bearing poison-tipped pitchforks. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on …
 

Foreclosure Crisis Takes Down Beloved Sidekick Ed McMahon

America might be busy ejaculating in its collective pants about the end of Racism and the beginning of Hope, but that doesn’t stop our nation’s bankers from the very important work of booting the elderly from their homes. That’s right, our mortgage-foreclosure-housing-bubble crisis marches on, and it looks like the next stop on the hobo train is swank Beverly Hills, where former Johnny Carson sidekick and Howard Stern prank call subject Ed McMahon has run into some financial troubles. Read more on Foreclosure Crisis Takes Down Beloved Sidekick Ed McMahon…