forbes
Fox News: Why Is Jerk Obama Making Walmart Cut Its Healthcare Benefits?
Is Walmart doing something horrible today? Well, it’s a “day” so yes, of course Walmart is doing something horrible today. Walmart—the nation’s largest private sector employer—is joining the ranks of companies seeking to avoid their obligation to provide employees with health insurance as required by Obamacare. OF COURSE THEY ARE. See, there is pretty much [...]
Forbes Explains Why You People Need More Horrible Rich Ladies Like Gina Rinehart
Hey–remember Gina Rinehart? Oh, sure you do! She is the world’s richest woman and by some bizarre coincidence, also seems to be one of the world’s worst people. Here she is, warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day and oh, here [...]
Ta-Da! Genius Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Invents New Kind Of Math To Solve State’s Jobs Woes
Why is hero Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, recently seen bitching that the governor’s three-times-median-household-income salary just isn’t enough cheddar, being blamed just because his awesome economic policies of “fire everyone” have made his state plumb last in job growth? (Koch economic policies are obviously THE GREATEST economic policies, and every state should have more of [...]
Michelle Obama Appears on ‘Biggest Loser,’ Is Now a Kardashian
Have you seen that show on the E! television network featuring a bunch of whiny girls whose names all start with the letter “K” and their [step]father, played by a melted-down Ken doll? It is the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” show, and somehow, it is one of the most highly rated reality television programs [...]
Lady Gaga vs. Nancy Pelosi, Who Will Win? (Not Nancy Pelosi)
Every campaign season in our increasingly retarded nation, potential voters are presented with many important survey and poll battles such as “What celebrity of the moment is better/worse than a completely unrelated government official?” For example: This person Lady Gaga, who seems to be mentioned a lot more than actually heard, could she defeat San [...]
Sarah Palin Barely Earning Minimum Wage
Everybody just assumes that Sarah Palin wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy all the time, in a golden bed of $100 bills. This is because the lamestream media makes it seem like she’s always collecting enormous wads of cash in exchange for her hardcore mama grizzlin’ services (speechin’, hangin’ tough, Teabaggin’). But [...]
Sheila Bair Considered Less Powerful Than That German Broad ‘Merkel’
Boo on you, Forbes meanies, for suggesting our beloved girlfriend Sheila Bair isn’t the most powerful woman in the world. Still, #2 ain’t bad! Who rounds out the top five? Some Pepsi person, a common mineral miner, and the chief executive of Singapore’s sovereign wealth fund. In other words, a pack of nobodies who are [...]
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