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This is what happens, Tennessee, when you keep going harder, fuller batshit: you end up electing real weird guys! Now more fun things are coming about your state senator Stacey Campfield, of whom we apparently just can’t get enough! So what has Herr Campfield been up to lately, and/or several years ago? Oh, just yelling [...]

Oh LOOK who is suddenly on the side of organized labor, now that a bunch of scab refs are messing with his precious football? (Hint: it is Scott Walker, the union-busting asshole of a governor from Wisconsin.)

A reporter asked Mitt Romney today where he thought free agent Peyton Manning should play football next season. Ahh, there’s a nice birthday softball question for ya! All he had to say was that he’s a Patriots fan, so he hopes Manning doesn’t play for a team in the same division. This is all he [...]

Dirtbag clown/redneck millionaire Randall Williams — who goes by his legendary father’s name to better fleece the poors — done went and half-assed called Obama a “Hitler” on the Fox News, and you know you can only do that in code, or while huntin’ coon with Rick Perry or whatever. So the football show has [...]

Sweet Jeebus, AOL has agreed to purchase popular liberal/Brangelina Internet destination “The Huffington Post” for $315 million! Why does AOL think this is a wise investment? And will Arianna Huffington’s citizen journalists continue to Win the Afternoon, with the hottest hot scoops (“D-List Celebrity Has Boobs” and “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Celebrities Who [...]

This year’s Super Bowl may not include Tim Tebow lecturing America about nearly-aborted fetuses, but it has something even better: Lord Ronald Reagan! Some soulless libtards planned the Super Bowl to be on Reagan’s 100th birthday, so to make up for this, the event will now include a pre-game circle jerk tribute to this dead [...]

Hey! Super Bowl 666 (sorry – Super Bowl DCLXVI) is just days away. Which group of plus-sized men wearing leggings and suffering from multiple concussions/severe dementia will win? And will there be a multitude of funny beer commercials, for Rancid Piss Lite, et cetera, for all the miserable people watching on their HD wide-screens at [...]

Still bummed out over America’s comedic loss of Christine O’Donnell? Relax! There’s always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen will announce today that he’s running for the Senate in Virginia, in 2012! Just six years [...]

Virginia’s George Allen may be the most brilliant legislator to ever play with a football on the Senate floor, but unfortunately, he also likes to use old-timey racial slurs of which nobody has ever heard, so he was defeated in 2006 for saying “macaca” on YouTube. It was an important moment in American history, according [...]

Oh would you look at that, it’s already football season. Real Americans sit on their couches, flip between the games and their Tivo’d Dancing with the Stars, and stuff corn dogs and corn sugar into their mouths. But not Washingtonians! Here, the masses pile into fancy bars and feast on upscale football-watchin’ foods that don’t [...]

Nick Saban has won a lot of “football,” according to Wikipedia, and that is why every Alabama politician lusts after The Nick Saban Endorsement, because it is some sort of football sports analogy for something really great that is sure to bring you victory. Sadly Nick Saban hates politics and never endorses anybody. But that [...]

Every year, the President of the United States has to entertain the winners of that year’s Super Bowl, which is an annual contest of America’s real (white) sport, American-football. And so today they showed up at the White House and provided Obama his very own jersey, which he will then hang in his closet with [...]

What have you infidels done this time to infuriate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so thoroughly? (Trick question, for your very existence forces Ahmadinejad to hate you at all hours of the day.) But his never-ceasing hatred has just been multiplied by infinity, thanks in part to a certain German octopus by the name of Paul, who is [...]

Two fine young British ladies have taken it upon themselves to make a fun music video in which they spit hot rhymes about Dave Cameron, the Tory-man who is running for the position of Queen. (They also maliciously refer to Cameron as “DC,” which apparently is not an insulting name to call someone in Great [...]

Poor old Ben “Wario” Nelson is having such trouble proving to the Real Americans of Nebraska — the Most Real Americans out there, yikes! — that the pending expansion of health insurance conducted entirely through the existing for-profit private corporate market is not a Kenyan Afro-Socialist takeover of their guns for Allah. Tonight he will [...]


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