football
Tennessee Homophobe And New Wonket Coverboy Stacey Campfield Is A Real Weird Guy
This is what happens, Tennessee, when you keep going harder, fuller batshit: you end up electing real weird guys! Now more fun things are coming about your state senator Stacey Campfield, of whom we apparently just can’t get enough! So what has Herr Campfield been up to lately, and/or several years ago? Oh, just yelling [...]
Look Who Suddenly Supports Labor Now That Scabs Are Messing With Football (Hint: It Is Scott Walker)
Oh LOOK who is suddenly on the side of organized labor, now that a bunch of scab refs are messing with his precious football? (Hint: it is Scott Walker, the union-busting asshole of a governor from Wisconsin.)
Unteachable Mitt Romney Talks About His Owner Friends In Other Sports
A reporter asked Mitt Romney today where he thought free agent Peyton Manning should play football next season. Ahh, there’s a nice birthday softball question for ya! All he had to say was that he’s a Patriots fan, so he hopes Manning doesn’t play for a team in the same division. This is all he [...]
Dumb Ape Who Sings Football Jingle Fired For Being Giant Bunghole
Dirtbag clown/redneck millionaire Randall Williams — who goes by his legendary father’s name to better fleece the poors — done went and half-assed called Obama a “Hitler” on the Fox News, and you know you can only do that in code, or while huntin’ coon with Rick Perry or whatever. So the football show has [...]
AOL Buys Arianna Huffington’s Famous Internet Website
Sweet Jeebus, AOL has agreed to purchase popular liberal/Brangelina Internet destination “The Huffington Post” for $315 million! Why does AOL think this is a wise investment? And will Arianna Huffington’s citizen journalists continue to Win the Afternoon, with the hottest hot scoops (“D-List Celebrity Has Boobs” and “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Celebrities Who [...]
The Super Bowl Is THE Time To Celebrate Our Best President’s Birfday
This year’s Super Bowl may not include Tim Tebow lecturing America about nearly-aborted fetuses, but it has something even better: Lord Ronald Reagan! Some soulless libtards planned the Super Bowl to be on Reagan’s 100th birthday, so to make up for this, the event will now include a pre-game circle jerk tribute to this dead [...]
Super Bowl Sunday: Come For the Lardy Food, Stay For the Sex Slaves!
Hey! Super Bowl 666 (sorry – Super Bowl DCLXVI) is just days away. Which group of plus-sized men wearing leggings and suffering from multiple concussions/severe dementia will win? And will there be a multitude of funny beer commercials, for Rancid Piss Lite, et cetera, for all the miserable people watching on their HD wide-screens at [...]
Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again
Still bummed out over America’s comedic loss of Christine O’Donnell? Relax! There’s always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen will announce today that he’s running for the Senate in Virginia, in 2012! Just six years [...]
Upscale Restaurants Join the Fight To Keep America Fat
Oh would you look at that, it’s already football season. Real Americans sit on their couches, flip between the games and their Tivo’d Dancing with the Stars, and stuff corn dogs and corn sugar into their mouths. But not Washingtonians! Here, the masses pile into fancy bars and feast on upscale football-watchin’ foods that don’t [...]
Friendly German Octopus a Sworn Enemy of the Islamic Republic
What have you infidels done this time to infuriate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so thoroughly? (Trick question, for your very existence forces Ahmadinejad to hate you at all hours of the day.) But his never-ceasing hatred has just been multiplied by infinity, thanks in part to a certain German octopus by the name of Paul, who is [...]
Corporations To Liberals: ‘Stop Murdering Us’
Two fine young British ladies have taken it upon themselves to make a fun music video in which they spit hot rhymes about Dave Cameron, the Tory-man who is running for the position of Queen. (They also maliciously refer to Cameron as “DC,” which apparently is not an insulting name to call someone in Great [...]
Ben Nelson Desperately Tries To Show Nebraskans That He Is Not Socialist
Poor old Ben “Wario” Nelson is having such trouble proving to the Real Americans of Nebraska — the Most Real Americans out there, yikes! — that the pending expansion of health insurance conducted entirely through the existing for-profit private corporate market is not a Kenyan Afro-Socialist takeover of their guns for Allah. Tonight he will [...]
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