Tag Archives: food stamps

  i will work harder!

Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to spend on food, so they spend less money on food. The end result is not, as Rand Paul argued, “less slavery,”  but rather less food being sold.  Read more on Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL…
  college: ur doin it rong

Heritage Foundation Notes Food Stamps Given To Stupid College Grads Who Picked Wrong Major Like German Or Not Business

From excessive drinking to being high pretty much all the time to a wardrobe consisting of only pajamas, blogging college sure is a rockin good time. And, it helps you get a job that pays money, which enables you to buy progressively better whiskey, hoping for that one magical day when you can afford the stuff that does not come in a plastic bottle! It’s good to dream, kid. But wait! Maybe college ain’t so great after all, because did you know that some college graduates don’t make ALL THE MONIES and sometimes get laid off, and some even are forced to go on food stamps! Well, the good awful folks at the Heritage Foundation are right here to bring you the SHOCKING statistics. It seems that 28 percent of food stamp households are headed by someone who went to college. TWENTY-EIGHT PERCENT, people! That’s, like, more than 1 in 4 people on food stamps (math, bitchez). Clearly, our colleges is not learning students good. Or maybe we should blame the students! Blaming the students would only work if we were really dickish, but we are talking about the Heritage Foundation.  Read more on Heritage Foundation Notes Food Stamps Given To Stupid College Grads Who Picked Wrong Major Like German Or Not Business…
  shut up you fucking baby

Diapered Angerbear David Vitter Would Like To Maximize America’s Ability To Humiliate The Poor

Hi there, and welcome to our newest episode of David Vitter Is Being A Dick Again. We know you’ve all been breathlessly awaiting this, as you’ve been on cliffhanger tenterhooks: will he be whining about how there is not enough sweet government cash coming into Louisiana even though he doesn’t believe in government cash going anywhere? Is he cockblocking — or in his case, diaperblocking — one of Obama’s cabinet nominations? Is he playing politics with Congressional staffers’ lives and pocketbooks? Haha no, silly, this is a new season so David Vitter is being a dick in entirely new and interesting ways. Read more on Diapered Angerbear David Vitter Would Like To Maximize America’s Ability To Humiliate The Poor…
  nice time!

Ladies And Gentlemen, Wonkers And Wonkadoos, Your National Legislative Badass Of The Year, Elijah Cummings!

While 2013 certainly kept all the womyn busy in the kitchen baking shitmuffins, there were some bright and awesome spots where legislators on the national stage groped around to find long-lost sets of (gender-neutral) testicles and stood up for everything that is right and just in this world. In order to honor those men and women who encouraged us to step slowly away from the ledge, we have created the most coveted award in all the land: Legislative Badass of the Year. Despite tough competition from both chambers, we proudly present this year’s award to… ELIJAH CUMMINGS! Before we salivate and slobber and talk up this year’s champ, we have to give mad props (is that still a thing? We don’t know because old) to several runners-up who made us smile and feel good in all the right places. Read more on Ladies And Gentlemen, Wonkers And Wonkadoos, Your National Legislative Badass Of The Year, Elijah Cummings!…
  let he who thinks she's a druggie cast the first stone

Bill O’Reilly Pretty Confident Jesus Wouldn’t Feed Kids If Their Parents Were Druggies

Great Protector of Christmas Bill O’Reilly has these tidings of comfort and joy for you, America: Yeah, sure, Jesus fed the poor and he wants people to feed the poor. But is that any reason to feed the poor? In a spirited chat with yes-man priest Fr. Gerald Murray (with easily dismissed contributions from token liberal pastor Joshua DuBois), O’Reilly questioned how far good Christians need to take this whole “feed the poor” shtick anyway: “The problem I have, as I stated is that you’re helping one group by hurting another group and a bigger group, and so I don’t know if Jesus is going to be down with that.” DuBois thought maybe Jesus might be down with that, seeing as how private charity only makes up about 10% of what’s needed to feed everyone. Father Murray thought it was RIDICULOSE to think that Jesus would support Big Government, because that’s just silly. “We take care of the poor for spiritual motives,” he said, which presumably means that if government does food stamps, that’s like taking away people’s chance to be all spiritual somehow. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Pretty Confident Jesus Wouldn’t Feed Kids If Their Parents Were Druggies…
  you! stop evolving right now!

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks To Shield Your Homeschooled Darlings From Dangerous Modern Thinking

Time to round out our visit to the turn of the 20th Century — as seen through the lens of rightwing Christian textbooks — with a brief discussion of the dangerous ideas that began infecting the world in the late 19th century. Persons prone to the vapors may wish to have a couch and some smelling salts handy. For our 8th-grade textbook from A Beka, America: Land I Love, the last years of the 19th century were a terrific time when Christian revival and missions had “improved the moral health of America and many other nations.” Unfortunately, history is not merely the study of world events; it is also the study of how incorporeal beings become personally involved in those events: Homes, churches, schools, businesses, and government agencies also upheld and promoted Christian values and virtues. But Satan counter-moved the spiritual influences in America by raising up false, anti-Biblical philosophies that would eventually erode our Christian heritage. He “hatched” the ideas of Modernism (religious liberalism), evolution, Marxist-socialism (Communism), progressive education, and modern psychology in the latter half of the 19th century, but they did not affect society until the 20th century and did not come into full bloom until the latter half of the 20th century. Our 11th/12th-grade textbook, United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), is similarly displeased by newfangled thinking, but doesn’t directly attribute evolution or psychology to Satan himself — parents homeschooling their high school-aged kids may therefore want to select Pensacola Christian College, the publishers of A Beka Books, over those wild-eyed radicals at Bob Jones, with their “anything goes” doctrine. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks To Shield Your Homeschooled Darlings From Dangerous Modern Thinking…
  have you considered trying breatharianism?

McDonalds’ Holiday Advice For Workers: Maybe You Could Sell Your Second Kidney?

America’s purveyors of Anus Burgers aren’t really all that big on the idea of paying a fair wage to their employees, but it’s nice to know that they’re at least willing to help them eat their bootstraps and mooch off the gummint. In yet another inspirational example of a fast food giant “helping” its employees, the “McResource line” from McDonalds has some helpful McAdvice for its McSerfs: if they’re “digging out from holiday debt,” maybe they should give some thought to cutting down on the burdensome material possessions that are just interfering with their spiritual journey to Nirvana anyway: “Selling some of your unwanted possessions on eBay or Craigslist could bring in some quick cash.” Even better, maybe they could stave off those hunger pangs by faking out their stupid brains, at least until they can become leeches: Elsewhere on the site, McDonald’s encourages its employees to break apart food when they eat meals, as “breaking food into pieces often results in eating less and still feeling full.” And if they are struggling to stock their shelves with food in the first place, the company offers assistance for workers applying for food stamps. Or at least, a couple days ago they were advising employees to try selling their unnecessary belongings… after ThinkProgress reported on the “Digging Out From Holiday Debt” tips, McDonalds pulled the webpage; a PR person explained that “Some of the content has been reviewed and changes were made where appropriate … We’ll continue to do that periodically.” You know, like, whenever we get caught. Read more on McDonalds’ Holiday Advice For Workers: Maybe You Could Sell Your Second Kidney?…
  political ads to bombard your television in 3...2...

Only 1085 Days Left Until The Next Presidential Election, Let’s All Go Die

OhEmmGee, you guys! Remember how a year ago we were all Hopey and Changey Part II and still drunkenly reveling in the streets because Blablack Blackbama was returning triumphantly to the White House and we were finally done with Richie Rich and his TigerBeat sidekick? Well strap on your campaign buttons because while there are only 36 shopping days until the pagan celebration of mid-winter, there are ONLY 1,085 DAYS UNTIL THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION! Don’t care about it yet? No one else does either. But since there are only so many shit-sandwiches we can write about, let’s sexplore what completely irrelevant things politicians are doing three years out in order to get their names in the newspapers!  Read more on Only 1085 Days Left Until The Next Presidential Election, Let’s All Go Die…
  Oh! Sweet Nuthin'

GOP Way Too Busy To Fix $5 Billion Food-Stamp Cut

The House is calling it a session today and won’t resume tormenting us until November 12, praise The Great Pumpkin. In the meantime, an automatic, across-the-board $5 billion reduction in the SNAP food assistance program will take effect November 1, when a provision of the 2009 stimulus expires. Obviously it makes zero sense to let this happen — unemployment is still high, wages are still low, the economy is still barely growing, and SNAP is an “effective and efficient” palliative for all these problems, so naturally “GOP leaders are struggling to come up with an agenda to fill the 19 legislative days that are left in 2013.” (It turns out blocking all NOBAMA’S appointments doesn’t take up too much time!) We could hem and haw about this per usual, but instead let’s imagine what we’d say if we actually believed all the GOP’s intellectually and morally bankrupt arguments against helping poor people buy small amounts of food. We already feel dirty! Alright, ready? Deep breath, clear your mind, you are now… a wingnut. Read more on GOP Way Too Busy To Fix $5 Billion Food-Stamp Cut…
  glass half full of nice time

Oregon Obamacare Communists Cut Number Of Uninsured By 10% In Two Weeks, Probably With Death Panels

The hippies running the Oregon Health Plan have enrolled 56,000 new people under the state’s expansion of Medicaid, even before the state’s insurance exchange — which has been delayed by technical glitches – is up and running. Is it a much-sought-after Obamacare success story? The low-income program has cut the number of uninsured Oregon residents by 10% in its first two weeks, using a fast-track enrollment system that the state designed, or by murdering them, one or the other, there is simply no way to ever know. Read more on Oregon Obamacare Communists Cut Number Of Uninsured By 10% In Two Weeks, Probably With Death Panels…
  get your teabagger bingo cards ready

Deleted Comments of The Day: How Many Stereotypes Can You Fit Into One Paragraph?

Sometimes when we open up the ol’ comment queue, that limbo where new would-be Wonketteers must first prove they are neither spam nor complete teabagging idiots, we feel like the Medieval Marxist’s wife: “Oooh, Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!” And so it was with two messages from “JustinHuman,” who just wanted us to know that he shares Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s disgust at all these poor people with fancy air conditioning: Sorry, but I agree with Elizabeth on this one. I work in healthcare, and it does get rather upsetting seeing all of the perfectly able-bodied young men and women who come in on disability benefits and Social Security in their 20s and 30s carrying the newest iPad while I work 6 days a week and can’t afford one. It’s infuriating to see people buying lobster and shrimp with their food stamps while I’m struggling working 2 jobs to feed my kids store brand basics. Then, I get to see them walk outside and get into their new luxury car while I hope my 96 Celica starts as it approaches the 200,000 mile mark on the odometer. “JustinHuman” has seen this, people, seen it with his own eyes, and he thinks it’s time for some class warfare on the undeserving poors. Ah, yes, we thought as we read on: there’s some lovely filth down ‘ere. Read more on Deleted Comments of The Day: How Many Stereotypes Can You Fit Into One Paragraph?…
  the anger games

Food Stamp Recipients Worried About Government Shutdown, Wingnuts Outraged

Aww, Twitchy: It’s so nice to know that you guys care! Under the headline “Looming government shutdown elicits concern among food stamp recipients” yesterday, the rightwing twitter aggregator noted that according to a USA Today explainer on the shutdown: the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) has enough money to last one more year. That means the food stamp spigot will keep flowing for a long time regardless of what happens in Washington DC tonight. This, of course, was an excuse to present a number of tweets from greedy food stamp recipients who “have not gotten the message:” I better Still get my food stamps this month #shutdown Read more on Food Stamp Recipients Worried About Government Shutdown, Wingnuts Outraged…
  we are all steak holders

California Rep. Jackie Speier Waves Steak And Vodka To Make Totally Clear Point About Cutting Food Stamps

California Rep. Jackie Speier waved around a couple of food props yesterday “in an effort to shame Republicans who want to slash $40 billion from the food stamp budget, while they continue to go on ‘lavish’ trips financed by taxpayers and other groups.” Her intended point may have been lost on people who see the words “food stamps” and “steak and vodka” and assume that she was saying that people getting food stamps are gorging on expensive food and liquor — which was, frankly, our first reaction when we saw that combination in RawStory’s headline. Or maybe that’s just us. Read more on California Rep. Jackie Speier Waves Steak And Vodka To Make Totally Clear Point About Cutting Food Stamps…
  a wingnut meme is born

Usual Sleazy Liars Would Love You To Believe That ‘More Than Half Of All SNAP Benefits Are Used to Buy Sugary Drinks’

The Hill is usually pretty good, but it’s been over 24 hours since they published this untrue thing, which is still there at the time of this writing: A 2012 study found that food stamps enable about $2 billion worth of junk food purchases each year, and that more than half of all SNAP benefits are used to buy sugary drinks. [emphasis ours] Naturally, this is already spreading like hot butter among the wingers. The straight dope (pdf link), of course, is that: Researchers found that 58 percent of all refreshment beverages purchased by SNAP participants were for sugar-sweetened beverages such as regular soda, fruit drinks, and sports drinks. According to the researchers, SNAP benefits paid for 72 percent of these purchases. [again, emphasis ours] These words do not say that “more than half” of all SNAP benefits are spent on trash drinks, but “more than half” of all drinks bought with SNAP are trash. OK, Still pretty bad, maybe? Read more on Usual Sleazy Liars Would Love You To Believe That ‘More Than Half Of All SNAP Benefits Are Used to Buy Sugary Drinks’…
  old macdonald had a crop insurance overpayment

USDA Finds Farm Subsidy Waste, So GOP Will Cut Food Stamps

So our little mommyblog has been harping on the Republicans in Congress because of their strong desire to ensure that poor people don’t eat, because poor people are just wasting taxpayer monies by being frauds. Luckily, the USDA (which administers food stamps) just came out with a big honking report on overpayments, and this is surely gonna be red meat for the Republicans: $20 million in overpayments by the USDA! Hoo boy, libruls are gonna have a tough time with this one… hold on… what’s that, Washington Post: In a report released this week, the USDA inspector general said the agency spent nearly $15 million on undue payouts through the Federal Crop Insurance Corporation while issuing no major overpayments for nutrition assistance, including the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program — formerly known as food stamps. Yeah, we bolded that last part because… well, because it’s important, that’s why.  Read more on USDA Finds Farm Subsidy Waste, So GOP Will Cut Food Stamps…
  eating was fun while it lasted

Kansas GOP Jealous Of Congress Hogging All The Ways To Shame Poor Hungry People

You know what’s bringing this country down? Not big money in politics, not gerrymandering Congressional districts to create 832 safe seats, and not even bakeries shutting down because they can’t be bigots. No, those are all peripheral issues — the real problem in America is the poors. Seriously, it’s sickening how poor people are just so… poor. They live in ramshackle houses, drive old cars, and don’t even have the decency to wear tailored suits! Seriously, just get some money and stop whining about being poor already, k? Such downers. If there is anything the GOP has taught us, its that the best way to deal with poors is the same way you deal with uppity womyn who want nonsense like equality and non-rapey militaries: shame the lot of them until they go away or die. Well, Kansas is stepping up to the (empty) plate, per HuffPo: Thousands of Kansans could lose food stamps under a new state policy that congressional Republicans hope to implement nationwide. Oh,  joy. A pilot project! Read more on Kansas GOP Jealous Of Congress Hogging All The Ways To Shame Poor Hungry People…
  the hunger gains

Republicans Vow To Cut Food Stamps In Areas Full Of Lazy Republicans

As the GOP War On Food Stamps rolls on this summer, Bloomberg.com has released a report looking at the political makeup of areas where food stamp rolls have expanded. Here’s a bit of a “surprise”: Among the 254 counties where food stamp recipients doubled between 2007 and 2011, Republican Mitt Romney won 213 of them in last year’s presidential election, according to U.S. Department of Agriculture data compiled by Bloomberg. Kentucky’s Owsley County, which backed Romney with 81 percent of its vote, has the largest proportion of food stamp recipients among those that he carried. This is excellent news for Mitt Romney, because it proves he was able to get the moocher vote after all. Read more on Republicans Vow To Cut Food Stamps In Areas Full Of Lazy Republicans…
  markwayne's worldwayne

Up-And-Coming Oklahoma Rep. Markwayne Mullin Vs. The Birther Princess & The Physically Fit Poors

On the one hand, Oklahoma congresscritter Markwayne “Not a typo” Mullin doesn’t have a lot of patience for this self-described “Birther Princess” who keeps trying to hand him Joe Arpaio’s absolutely conclusive Birther Holy Grail. In fact, at one point (1:08), he even says, “Honestly, I don’t even give a shit.” We’d really like to applaud him for that. On the other hand, he doesn’t think the Birther Princess is wrong, just that continuing to talk about the birth certificate is bad tactics: “…we lost that argument November 6. We had 4 years to get that proven and we didn’t, we reelected him, so that’s a dead issue.” Mullin even takes the opportunity to announce that he’s a birther too — “I believe what you’re saying,” he adds (2:55). But by then, it’s too late for solidarity, and the poor spurned dissident stomps out of the meeting, muttering, “But he’s not a real President!” A sympathetic member of the audience posted the video to YouTube, complete with a Fox-News-inspired identification of Mullin’s party as “D” (there are no “D’s” in the Oklahoma delegation). Read more on Up-And-Coming Oklahoma Rep. Markwayne Mullin Vs. The Birther Princess & The Physically Fit Poors…
  nice time!

Friday Nice Time: In Brazil, New Pope Calls For Rich To Stop Being Dicks To Poors

New Pope is making us happy again, Wonkeroos. He’s on a trip to Brazil where he is doing awesome New Popey things like riding in an open-air vehicle to be closer to the people, and actually walking into people’s homes to give them high-fives and stuff. The guy is goddam fucking just plain awesome.* And what makes our librul bleeding hearts become moar bleedier is when he says stuff like this, from WaPo: In his remarks in Varginha [Brazil], the pope criticized the “culture of selfishness and individualism,” spoke of how the wealthy need to do more to end social injustice and told residents to “never yield to discouragement” because of corruption. Ah, yes – calling on the wealthy to do more to end social injustice. As citizens of the wealthiest country on earth, we are super-excited to see what U.S. politicians and Catholic Churches do in the wake of this kind of conversation!  Read more on Friday Nice Time: In Brazil, New Pope Calls For Rich To Stop Being Dicks To Poors…
  oh snap

These Millionaire Republican Congressmen Who Took Farm Aid Probably Really Needed The Money

Well, Wonkeroos, we have a new, strong contender for the coveted Legislative Badass of the Year award. This nominee enters the competition by calling out hypocrisy from his House GOP colleagues in an awesome new report titled “Pork Barrel Politics.” Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Rep. George Miller (D-CA): A new analysis by the Office of Congresssman George Miller finds that 14 members of Congress voted to continue farm subsidies from which they personally benefit while failing to continue nutrition aid for 47 million Americans. Yep. His office released a report detailing how these 14 GOP Congresscritters have raked in more than $7.2 MILLION in farm subsidies (aka welfare, also aka YOUR tax dollars) while they voted to completely gut food stamps for hungry kids. Hahahahaha, sucks to be poor and not a Member of Congress. Not only did Rep. Miller (D-Honey Badgerville) release this report, and not only did he call his colleagues out by name, but he straight up put photos of each of the offending members on his website, in case anyone was interested, because George Miller DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK. Come after the jump and learn more about these foul, soulless human beings.  Read more on These Millionaire Republican Congressmen Who Took Farm Aid Probably Really Needed The Money…
  richard cohen can retire now

Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Asks: If You’re On Food Stamps, Why Are You Even In College?

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the student journamalists of the Iowa State Daily, that fine press organ (*snckkk, “organ!”*) which gave us an inspired anti-chalk editorial and some very earnest tsk-tsking about Bruce Springsteen using the rock and the roll to campaign for that Obama fellow. This week, the young fogeys of the ISD editorial board turn their attention to the timely issue of food stamps, and they manage a pretty neat trick: In an editorial titled “Food stamp abuse necessitates restriction,” they transform “qualifying for food stamps” into “abusing food stamps.” And to their shock and horror, the editorial board discovers that there are a lot of scummy people out there abusing food stamps through the sneaky tactic of being poor enough to get food stamps. Read more on Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Asks: If You’re On Food Stamps, Why Are You Even In College?…
  blessed are the well connected

Welfare for Farmers Bill Passes House; Food Stamps Not Included Because Poors Can Suck It

So remember when World’s Orangest Speaker John Boehner brought up the Farm Bill for a vote and it failed miserably because the GOP is terrible at governing? Ahhh, good times. Well, as Alex noted a few days ago, the House divided the farm bill up into two parts, so that Republicans could vote just on handouts to Big Farm (who just happen by pure coincidence to mostly live in red states) and put off worrying about food stamps until “later.” Because with unemployment still high, why focus on poor people when instead you can focus on an industry, where according to the crazy liberals at The Heritage Foundation, “Commercial farmers, who receive the majority of subsidies, report an average net income of $170,000, and a net worth close to $1 million.”  The poors can stick to their soup kitchens. In a rare instance of being able to get more yea votes than nay votes, the Big Farm-only bill passed the House of Representatives by a whopping 216-208 vote. All Democrats voted against the bill, because it contained no monies for people who are on food stamps, and Democrats care about the 47% and the 53% and the 99% and all the other percents, whereas the GOP cares only about people with lots of ca$h. So what’s all this mean?  Read more on Welfare for Farmers Bill Passes House; Food Stamps Not Included Because Poors Can Suck It…