Tag Archives: food stamps

  let them eat kale!

Jesus, Internet, What’s The Matter, Did Gwyneth Paltrow Bone Your Dad?

Movie star lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow has taken up the SNAP challenge — to eat only what she can afford on the $29 a week, on average, that people on food stamps receive. Did you know the Internet is VERY MAD about this? How dare this privileged princess make a mockery of hunger advocacy blah blah yortle blerp? HOW DARE YOU GWYNETH PALTROW???? Read more on Jesus, Internet, What’s The Matter, Did Gwyneth Paltrow Bone Your Dad?…
  Madame Endora sees more poverty in your future

Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises

It is very tough coming up with new and creative ways to fuck the poor. A Missouri rep decided in March that he would try to do it by advancing a bill to make sure none of those gross people on SNAP benefits would be able to buy luxury items like seafood, because heaven forfend poor people (who are not actually spending money on lobster) have something healthy to eat. Read more on Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU’RE An Abortion!

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!
This week’s crop of deleted comments made us feel a bit nostalgic, since a couple of them employ a rightwing rhetorical trope that we first noticed when we still read the local news-paper while listening to Fleetwood Mac on the Victrola. It’s the simplest possible sort of non sequitur: just take any current event and point out that the Scourge Of Abortion is far worse. “I don’t see why the plane crash in ____ is news when hundreds of babies are slaughtered daily…” “Your article on the Armenian Genocide reminded me that Americans are happy to deny their own genocide, legal since 1973…” “How can your reviewer complain about Ishtar when a true abomination takes place in Planned parenthood clinics every day?” So yeah, we got a couple of those this week. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU’RE An Abortion!…
  What -- no lube?

Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!

He really loves us
It was just a week ago that House Republicans introduced their latest scheme to screw America, which they charmingly call the Balanced Budget for a Stronger America. It would not actually balance the budget (unless you do some fancy magic “math” to it, which does not work in the real world, sorry) nor does it make America stronger, but come ON, it’s got a nice-sounding name, isn’t that enough? Read more on Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!…
  Let them eat ... the following list of approved poor people food

Missouri D*ckhead Rep. Will Stop Poors From Depleting State’s Sushi Supply

Hi, I'm a douchebag, you can tell by my face.
Missouri state Rep. Rick Brattin is at it again, addressing the the Real Problems affecting his state. Last year, he made news for a bill that would simply require ladies to get permission slips from the men what had made them pregnant, if they wanted all the ‘bortions. If it was rape, he said that as long as the woman proved it, then there would be an exception, so no worries! He’s also a proponent of the completely ineffective and pointless effort to force welfare recipients to have drug tests. Which brings us to today! Brattin has decided that on top of making sure all the poors aren’t on drugs, we should probably make sure they don’t eat any “luxury” foods, like fish, because heaven forfend they make healthy choices. Those are for rich people! Read more on Missouri D*ckhead Rep. Will Stop Poors From Depleting State’s Sushi Supply…
  You just have to love America enough for it to work

House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!

You just have to love America enough for it to work
Oh neat, it’s that time again when Republicans introduce their plan to make America flush with cash and liberty by drowning government in a bathtub and letting olds figure out their own damn health care and generally requesting that we all grab our ankles and hold on tight. Again? Yes, again. So what kinds of nifty fix-everything ideas did the GOP come up with this time, using an abacus and some of Rep. Paul Ryan’s left over magic fairy dust from his days as budget chairman, when he tried and failed to save America? Oh, the usual: Read more on House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!…
  if you see something say something

Congressloon Wants YOU (To Spy On Your Neighbors’ Shopping Carts)

Rep. Glenn Grothman (R-Terrible Person)
Newbie Republican Rep. Glenn Grothman is a real peach of a guy, and yes, by peach we mean a-hole. Since voters promoted him from the Wisconsin state Senate to the U.S. House of Representatives last November, he’s wasted little time proving he’s still the same old whackadoodle wingnut teabagger crazy guy he was back home. Read more on Congressloon Wants YOU (To Spy On Your Neighbors’ Shopping Carts)…
  let them eat

House GOP Will Return Dignity To Poor By Starving Them

are these the good kind of handouts or the bad kind...?
In their never-ending quest to prevent the safety net from catching actual poor people, the House GOP is once again taking aim at one of its favorite targets — all of the Food Stamps. Invoking Track 4 of their Greatest Hits, the GOP seeks to cut the SNAP benefits, but obviously for the recipients’ own good. Bush crony and Texas Rep. Mike Conaway (R-Fossil Fuels) is running point with all of the Bootstrap Bluster we’re used to hearing regurgitated from Republican congressmen who barely work. Read more on House GOP Will Return Dignity To Poor By Starving Them…
  Look how easy it is to be poor!

Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though

Being rich is fun, but being poor is way easy
image via Rich Kids Of Instagram Tumblr Here is a terrible thing for you to read, and it is about how rich people have an extremely fucked up view of poor people, so if you don’t want to have to punch your fist through a window in the next five minutes, you should probably just go watch internet videos of cats riding around on roombas. The Pew Research Center released some data recently about politics and financial security, and it was horrible in all of the ways. But one of the worst conclusions was this: Read more on Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though…
  Shame Hasn't Worked. How About Sharing?

Let’s Put Some Food On People

Happily, such scenes are a thing of the distant past
We at your Recipe Hub are monsters who like to play in butter all day, but the payout is being able to share our meals. Few things make me happier than putting food inside of people, especially because they are hungry and even more so because they need it. With that in mind, and with Thanksgiving around the corner, Yr Wonkette wants to share some important information about food banks. Read more on Let’s Put Some Food On People…
  A Noble Spirit Embiggens The Smallest Man

Indiana Governor To Poors: Eat This!

He seems nice.
Screenshot from Fox News Indiana Gov. Mike Pence has some thoughts about the poor, and those thoughts are quite inspiring! You see, what with more people entering the workforce, Indiana’s Family and Social Services Administration decided not to renew a waiver from work requirements for people on food stamps, because “welfare reform.” On Tuesday, Pence explained on Fox News that it’s only fair to require people to get jerbs or jerb training if they want to eat. And when Fox’s Brian Kilmeade asked, “How do you feel about people who say you are targeting poor people?” Pence had a reply that was just full of inspirational thoughts: Read more on Indiana Governor To Poors: Eat This!…
  Convenient Timing...Or Murder???

Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably

Another victim of Obama's 11th dimensional chess game?
So far, nobody’s calling it a conspiracy, but it’s the only reasonable conclusion: just days before the election, a nice old man running for Congress died after being hit by a car, and you just know that Obama had to be involved. Earl Emmitt Everett, 81, a retired teacher and Korean War vet, died Sunday after being critically injured in an “accident” Friday. He’d been running a “decided underdog” campaign against Oklahoma Republican Markwayne Mullin, and … oh, Everett was a Democrat? Never mind then. Just an accident. Read more on Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably…
  don't call it a comeback

Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee

Scott Walker, locked in a tight race for his second term as governor of Wisconsin, wants his constituents to know he’s committed to their conservative Midwestern values. It’s all right there in his campaign’s new manifesto, “Continuing Wisconsin’s Comeback”: If you give him four more years, he promises to cut property taxes, celebrate deer hunting heritage, supervise manly red-hot iron pours, and relentlessly pursue the urine of the state’s unemployed. Read more on Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee…
  we had a better class of underclass back then

Ben Carson So Glad His Welfare Mom Wasn’t Dependent On Government

Doctor Ben Carson, the neurosurgeon who thinks Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery, went on “The View” Tuesday and explained how we can Save America: “We have to help re-educate people about what America is,” a turn of phrase surely that no wingnut would ever freak out about. Perhaps camps could even be provided for the purpose. And what you need to do to help people realize their dream is to free them from the government’s neo-Marxist welfare teat. And what greater waste of human potential is there than the enslavement of getting help with food and healthcare? Luckily Dr. Carson can explain for us why welfare and food stamps that helped him as a child were the good kind of welfare and food stamps, as opposed to the moocher 47 percent freeloader kind you get today. Read more on Ben Carson So Glad His Welfare Mom Wasn’t Dependent On Government…
  stfu tucker carlson

Nutritionist Tucker Carlson: We Should Do Something About All These Disgusting Fat Poors

Tucker Carlson, who plays a human being on Fox’s Outnumbered, explained the connection between obesity and poverty Wednesday, pointing out that poor people are only fat because the government keeps giving them food, and that there’s no such thing as a fat rich person. Who is this man who is so wise in the ways of science? Perhaps he can explain how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. Read more on Nutritionist Tucker Carlson: We Should Do Something About All These Disgusting Fat Poors…
  the boors you will always have with you

Bryan Fischer Revises Christian Teaching On Wealth, Explains Poors Should ‘Kiss The Ground’ Where 1% Walk

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” –Mark 10:21-23 And lo, the prophet Bryan, Fischer of Men, did speak to the people Tuesday through their radios, and he did say, “Now just wait a darn minute… have you thought this through? The rich pay for everything, so just you knock off your class warfare, Jesus.” Read more on Bryan Fischer Revises Christian Teaching On Wealth, Explains Poors Should ‘Kiss The Ground’ Where 1% Walk…
  real kabuki has slightly more action

House GOP Passes Ryan Budget, Offers To Help Democrats Write Campaign Ads For Fall

The House of Representatives voted 219-205 to approve the terrible Paul Ryan budget plan that everyone agrees doesn’t have a chance in the Senate and, for that matter, isn’t even likely to result in any actual spending bills in the House. But the sucker has been passed, and that’s an achievement right there; since it got more votes than the White House budget plan — which was rejected 413-2 — then obviously the Republicans won, and America has spoken. You just can’t hear what America said too clearly since the House has the Koch Brothers’ dicks in their mouths. Read more on House GOP Passes Ryan Budget, Offers To Help Democrats Write Campaign Ads For Fall…
  i wonder if it's friendly?

Barack Obama Will Not Be President Of Naming Things

Barack Obama is feeling a little feisty after yesterday’s big football-spiking speech. Today, he went to Ann Arbor, where he visited Zingerman’s deli with Senate candidate Gary Peters, then gave a speech at the University of Michigan calling for an increase in the minimum wage. And since he had so much fun yesterday saying “there still aren’t any death panels,” he decided to do a little more of that cruel partisan taunting that so vexes the tea-sipping pearl-clutchers on the right. Of Paul Ryan’s budget plan, with tax cuts for the wealthy and food stamp cuts for the poors, Barry said today, they were such old ideas that “It’s like that movie ‘Groundhog Day,’ except it’s not funny. If they tried to sell this sandwich at Zingerman’s, they’d have to call it the stinkburger or the meanwich.” Oh, Barry. You know we love you. We really, really do. But your foray into “naming things” has reminded us of the happy sperm whale who loves naming the new things he meets as he falls unaccountably with a bowl of petunias to the ground. He wonders if the “ground” would be friends with him? Sadly, no. So, sir, now that you have made us all sad, could you do us a little favor and let Old Handsome Joe Biden handle the “quips”? Read more on Barack Obama Will Not Be President Of Naming Things…
  Are there no workhouses?

States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, because the level of bamboozlement and chicanery and hoodwinkery should get a Political NC-17 rating, turning up the faux-rage to eleven… nay, to TWELVE. TWELVE WE SAY. TWELVE. Sorry we are breaking such awful news to you. Despite the efforts of the GOP (and all too many weak-willed Dems) to cut food stamps by some $8 billion, states are finding ways to continue to provide food stamps, much to the petulant outrage of the GOP, per The Hill: “I would hope that the House would act to try to stop this cheating and this fraud from continuing,” Boehner said. Clearly. States are doing their best to eradicate child malnutrition, and This. Must. Be. Stopped.  Read more on States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Eviscerates Fox News For Its Food Stamp Fixation. Just Metaphorically, Sadly

Don’t make Jon Stewart angry. Fox News accused him of mocking the network for “exposing fraud” in food stamps, so Stewart bites back with this look at how Fox presents poor people as cheats and freeloaders, caricaturing SNAP users based on a few ridiculous examples, like the surfer dude featured on six different Fox shows. The suggestion is that “if they weren’t such shitty people, they wouldn’t be poor. And those food stamps are just making them shittier. Of course, [Fox] didn’t say it so elegantly…” Read more on Jon Stewart Eviscerates Fox News For Its Food Stamp Fixation. Just Metaphorically, Sadly…
  yo momma

It Is Time For Paul Ryan To Stop Insulting Our Parents

Paul Ryan is in the news for lying again, and Wonkette helped break the story, go us! The Washington Post cited yr Editrix’s post about a comment on this TPM story that noted how Paul Ryan’s tale of a young boy who preferred the brown-bagged love of his parents to the hard cheese of socialism was suspiciously similar to one in this book, and good work if you followed all that. WaPo’s Glenn Kessler gave Ryan’s rotten fable four Pinocchios, because Paul Ryan is a small puppet child who talks to crickets, and also because he lies a lot. But honestly, we don’t care too much that Paul Ryan is lying. It’s Paul Ryan, after all. No, we care a lot more that he has a habit of calling our parents losers. His recent quattro pinocchio is a great example. Read more on It Is Time For Paul Ryan To Stop Insulting Our Parents…
  i will work harder!

Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to spend on food, so they spend less money on food. The end result is not, as Rand Paul argued, “less slavery,”  but rather less food being sold.  Read more on Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL…