Tag: food stamps

Not as fun as a new car :(

It’s Michigan’s Turn For Welfare Drug Tests To Fail, Yay Welfare Drug Tests!

Yet another state program to test welfare recipients for drugs has found no drug fiends getting welfare. Clearly, the answer is tougher drug tests.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Will Starve All The Poor People Unless He Can Deny Them Cake

Paul LePage continues quest to be the worst human on earth.

Wow! This Lady Going Berserk On A Random Stranger For Being On Food Stamps Sure Is Classy!

Video shows random lady in Walmart losing her shit on a young father buying food with food stamps.

Georgia Republican Gov. Nathan Deal Thinks ‘Religious Liberty’ Laws Are Real Dumb, Y’all

Gov. Nathan Deal of Georgia is a Republican. A super Republican. He thinks Syrian refugees are gross, because WWJD, and he wants to make sure that if any of those icky people get into Georgia, they won't be allowed to...
See this pie, ISIS? You can't have none!

Maine Republican Takes Bold Stand Against Free Lobster For ISIS Terror Bombers

When you are a Republican from Maine, you have to work HARD to come up with new ways to be a dick. Sociopath Gov. Paul LePage's SPECIALTY, the thing that gives him morning wood, is taking food stamps away from poor...
We dunno.

God Turns His Back On Gay-Hatin’ Tennessee Lawmakers

It's a bad week for gay-bashing political types in the Tennessee legislature. They just KNEW they had an ace in the hole, a sexciting new way to ban the Supreme Court from forcing gaysexual homo-nasty into their Christian throats,...

Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama’s SOTU, Except For All The Facts

Shortly after the president concluded his final State of the Union, Breitbart -- the internet's shrieking, shit-throwing chimpanzee colony -- decided to "fact-check" the speech. It went as badly as you'd expect. Because we really love rubbing salt in the wounds of human beings as...
Now if you'll excuse Me, I've got some adulteresses to stone.

Jeb Bush Rekindles Campaign Excitement With Pledge To Screw The Poors

Jeb Bush may have started the week looking like an incompetent nebbish, but he wrapped it up with a strong appeal to the GOP's deranged sociopath wing, proposing that the federal food stamp program be eliminated and replaced with...

Kentucky’s New Teabagger Gov. Matt Bevin Wasting No Time Screwing Voters, Poors

Kentucky governor and terrifying sentient forehead Matt Bevin was elected less than a month ago after fewer people showed up at the polls than saw Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip on opening weekend. He hasn't let his...
Oh, it's this asshole again

Maine Governor Paul LePage Eated All Your Food Stamps

Great news! Maine, that weirdly shaped state way the hell up at the top of the country, past all the states you ever have even the slightest reason to think about, has come up with a solution to our...
Speaking of 'pinched, mean, evil faces'...

Syrian Refugees Won’t Be Eatin’ Georgia’s Food Stamp Lobster And Filet Mignon Steaks

Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal is a Christian. He loves the Bible so much, he made sure cabins in state campgrounds were equipped with copies of the Good Book. But he's apparently pretty easygoing about actually following some of Christ's...
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into spaaaaace.

Wisconsin To 15,000 Poors: Let Them Eat Bootstraps

Oh, Wisconsin. Remember when you were simply a reliable purveyor of fine, plentiful cheeses, copious amounts of beer, and more sausage than Eggplant Fridays? Ah, the (fried curd) salad days. Nowadays, thanks to Gov. Scott Walker Derpsocket up there, Wisconsin...

Can We See Ben Carson’s Birth Certificate, Just To Prove He Was Really Born?

"Doctor" "Ben" "Carson" -- if that is even his real name, and we have reason to doubt -- has some real cool inspirational stories about his life. He grew up on a special kind of private sector welfare, which...
Thanks but no thanks

Ohio Squares Do Not Wish To Join Your Reefer Madness, America

Ohioans heeded the historically ineffective Just Say No advice of their Republican governor -- and, huh, one-time pot dealer to the Ronald Reagan campaign staff of '76, allegedly — John “Not Gonna Be President” Kasich, and voted against legalization...
"Screw you, kid"

Indiana Stealing $3.5 Million From Poors, Giving It To ‘Pro-Life’ Church Ladies

Quick question: Does this sound like healthcare to you? Gov. Mike Pence announced a $3.5 million contract Monday with the anti-abortion organization Real Alternatives. The stated purpose of the Pennsylvania-based Real Alternatives is to "actively promote childbirth instead of abortion."...