focus on the family

Put on a plaid flannel shirt and break out your Nirvana CDs, kids, because our rightwing Christian textbooks are looking at the ’90s: Bill Clinton is the president, and America is in deep moral decline, because didn’t you just read the name of the president?

After a man went on television for a very low-profile announcement that he is now back to feeling about gay marriage the way he felt in the fun 90s, the world erupted in praise … and backhanded praise and faint praise and no praise AT ALL! You are surprised, we know. Jim Daly, the boss […]

Chick-fil-A, great American chicken store, has this inconvenient reputation of being quite, quite Christian and, through its nonprofit organization, for supporting groups that are known to be anti-gay, like Focus on the Family and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (WHICH EXISTS). WELL! In the name of Digging Freedom (this is actually how you dig freedom), […]

Pat Robertson, the 81-year-old titan of Goddist bombast, has proven that some boxed sacks of two-buck chuck age well if you can wait eight decades and have nothing else to drink, not even water. Robertson experienced a brief tic of normalcy when he came out of the marijuana closet this week, telling the New York […]

Here is Senator Al Franken questioning Thomas Minnery of gay-bashing church club Focus on the Family about the group’s assertion that children fare better in households with heterosexual parents. Team Homophobia knows this is an obvious conclusion, so obvious actually that they did not need to “read” the words in the report. It’s a report […]

16-year-old Canadian person Justin Bieber is opposed to abortion but doesn’t hate gays, as anybody who follows politics now knows, somehow. This does not sit well with Focus on the Family, which is worried he is being corrupted by the black people and their “grooving” black-people music. Here’s their Chad Hillis: “Bieber’s only a kid, […]

Supply and demand, people! Focus on the Family’s series of “Love Won Out” conferences has persuaded so many sodomites of the joys of heterosexual love that there is just no market for these events anymore. So, they’re turning over the conferences to a ministry in Orlando that can deal with the homosexual laggards who still […]

Here’s a delicious chunk of schadenfreude for all of our uniformed men and women in the Gay Militia fighting the fundies out West: “[Colorado Springs-based ministry] Focus on the Family announced this afternoon that 202 jobs will be cut companywide, bringing the total number of employees to around 950. …The cutbacks come just weeks after […]

Oh WOWSERS one brave Christian has traveled into the future and brought back a chilling message from 2012: After godless liberal Marxist free-love hedonist Barack Obama ascends to power, he will stack the Supreme Court with six (6) young hippies, force everyone to get gay married, and sit on his hands while the Russians invade […]

You know who hates edible Christmas gifts and loves the New Testament? James Dobson, that’s who! And that’s why he despises Barack Obama and his delicious fruitcake Constitution for pointing out that Leviticus says a lot of wacky shit about shellfish. Wait, did that last bit make zero sense? Then it still makes one million […]

JESUS  12:03 pm September 12, 2007

by Ken Layne

DOGS  3:20 pm July 20, 2006

Go Forth and Sin No Moo

by Alex Pareene