Tag Archives: focus on the family

  theocratic jackwagons and the politicians who love them

Jeb Bush Super Proud Of That Time He Tortured Terri Schiavo, For ‘Life’

Brave Sir Jeb
Image via DonkeyHotey at Flickr Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, who is actually a sack of flour dumped into poorly tailored suits, is out on the campaign trail pandering to the religious right like a good Republican candidate for president. Yesterday he sat down for a radio interview with Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, to brag about his actions defending life, such as the time he told his brother George W. Bush not to invade Iraq and maim and kill hundreds of thousands of people for absolutely no reason. Read more on Jeb Bush Super Proud Of That Time He Tortured Terri Schiavo, For ‘Life’…
 

Learn This Hot New Trick To Raise Girls To Be Ladies, With Homemaking Classes

Ah, the good old days
So it turns out Dr. James Dobson — the conservative Bible-humper who founded pretty much all the greatest conservative Bible-humping groups, like Focus on the Family and the Family Research Council and Jesus Hates Your Gay Family and Your Family Is Going To Hell In A Hand-basket Unless You Buy This Book By Dr. James Dobson — is still around doling out advice you don’t want or need. Read more on Learn This Hot New Trick To Raise Girls To Be Ladies, With Homemaking Classes…
  smells like teen spiritual decline

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Avoid Irrational Exuberence

Put on a plaid flannel shirt and break out your Nirvana CDs, kids, because our rightwing Christian textbooks are looking at the ’90s: Bill Clinton is the president, and America is in deep moral decline, because didn’t you just read the name of the president? Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Avoid Irrational Exuberence…
  it's on or rather continues to be on

Now For A Collection of Insults Hurled At Fan Of Same-Sex Marriage Obama

After a man went on television for a very low-profile announcement that he is now back to feeling about gay marriage the way he felt in the fun 90s, the world erupted in praise … and backhanded praise and faint praise and no praise AT ALL! You are surprised, we know. Jim Daly, the boss of some Christian society called CitizenLink, decided to put up this lovely picture of two blonde straight people marrying on his blog, Finding Home, a blog for those of all sexual persuasions who forget where they live after a night of drinking at a strip club. Elsewhere, the Log Cabin Republicans implied that if Obama was a real leader of America, he would be looking at his calendar and seeing that North Carolina just banned same-sex marriage the very day he decided he now supports same-sex marriage (again), and how rude of him to distract people from this step backwards with his two-or-so steps forward. Somewhere in a desert, probably completely unaware of Obama’s special time, Romney declared that same-sex marriage is not an “issue of significance.” Plus, Rick Santorum needs cash. Read more on Now For A Collection of Insults Hurled At Fan Of Same-Sex Marriage Obama…
  "even dykes say yay"

Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)

Chick-fil-A, great American chicken store, has this inconvenient reputation of being quite, quite Christian and, through its nonprofit organization, for supporting groups that are known to be anti-gay, like Focus on the Family and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (WHICH EXISTS). WELL! In the name of Digging Freedom (this is actually how you dig freedom), three drag queens who call themselves Willam Belli, Detox, and Vicky Vox, put together this rather brilliant and professional music video. The ladies take Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” transform it into a catchy ode to fried boneless bird breasts and waffle fries, RAP, and say a polite “F U” to Chick-fil-A’s elderly gay-for-God billionaire CEO, S. Truett Cathy (while do these rich old men always have initials for first names???) Read more on Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)…
  racistly strange bedfellows

Pat Robertson Calls For Pot Legalization, Ruins Everything

Pat Robertson, the 81-year-old titan of Goddist bombast, has proven that some boxed sacks of two-buck chuck age well if you can wait eight decades and have nothing else to drink, not even water. Robertson experienced a brief tic of normalcy when he came out of the marijuana closet this week, telling the New York Times in an interview, “I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol.” SENILITY. This has prompted a verbal kiss from LEAP, that group of law enforcement peeps that support marijuana legalization: “I love him, man, I really do,” said its executive director Neill Franklin, forgetting everything. How does Pat plan to show his love? Despite an impoverished Caribbean island-sized amount of evidence to the contrary, Robertson wants to warn everybody that he is “not a crusader.” Read more on Pat Robertson Calls For Pot Legalization, Ruins Everything…
  nuclear defense systems

Superhero Al Franken Uses Literacy To Prove Homophobes Are Idiots

Here is Senator Al Franken questioning Thomas Minnery of gay-bashing church club Focus on the Family about the group’s assertion that children fare better in households with heterosexual parents. Team Homophobia knows this is an obvious conclusion, so obvious actually that they did not need to “read” the words in the report. It’s a report about nuclear families, families are nuclear, they do better when they are nuclear, NUKULAR POWERS WIN WARS, THEY ARE THE BEST DEFENSE (against same-sex marriage)!!!! But Franken throws them what is for a wingnut a fairly esoteric curveball, and he asks Minnery if he understands the meaning of “nukular.” HUNHH?! Read more on Superhero Al Franken Uses Literacy To Prove Homophobes Are Idiots…
  with luda at the georgia dome

Focus On the Family Worried It May Soon Have To Destroy Justin Bieber

16-year-old Canadian person Justin Bieber is opposed to abortion but doesn’t hate gays, as anybody who follows politics now knows, somehow. This does not sit well with Focus on the Family, which is worried he is being corrupted by the black people and their “grooving” black-people music. Here’s their Chad Hillis: “Bieber’s only a kid, and he’s being swept directly into the center of the extremely profane, hyper-sexualized, violent and self-indulgent culture of R&B. Moreover, Justin’s being ‘mentored’ by the very crude and sexually explicit R&B icon, Usher.” Surely rhythm is bad enough, but rhythm and blues? That’s dangerous. What exactly is this Usher ushering in? Focus on the Family is going to have to have to intervene if this kid continues to be part of our culture in such a way. And thus alienate preteen girls from the Christian religion forever. Read more on Focus On the Family Worried It May Soon Have To Destroy Justin Bieber…
  market saturation

Dobson’s Gay Conversion Conference Losing Buttloads Of $$$

Supply and demand, people! Focus on the Family’s series of “Love Won Out” conferences has persuaded so many sodomites of the joys of heterosexual love that there is just no market for these events anymore. So, they’re turning over the conferences to a ministry in Orlando that can deal with the homosexual laggards who still haven’t gotten on the Straight Train. Read more on Dobson’s Gay Conversion Conference Losing Buttloads Of $$$…
  suckers

Christian Group Lays Off Hundreds After Spending All Money On Prop 8 Passage

Here’s a delicious chunk of schadenfreude for all of our uniformed men and women in the Gay Militia fighting the fundies out West: “[Colorado Springs-based ministry] Focus on the Family announced this afternoon that 202 jobs will be cut companywide, bringing the total number of employees to around 950. …The cutbacks come just weeks after the group pumped more than half a million dollars into the successful effort to pass a gay-marriage ban in California.” To the suddenly unemployed Culture Warriors in Colorado: don’t be upset! And please don’t complain? No complaining!! If you complain, Jesus will kill you. Read more on Christian Group Lays Off Hundreds After Spending All Money On Prop 8 Passage…
  time travel

President Obama Will Take Away Precious Liberties, Disband Boy Scouts, Let Russia Invade Poland Again

Oh WOWSERS one brave Christian has traveled into the future and brought back a chilling message from 2012: After godless liberal Marxist free-love hedonist Barack Obama ascends to power, he will stack the Supreme Court with six (6) young hippies, force everyone to get gay married, and sit on his hands while the Russians invade Massachusetts. (Enh, let ‘em have it, it’s all full of Communists anyway!) Religious people should be concerned about this, especially the ones who vote for Obama because they will be going to Hell. [Letter from 2012 in Obama’s America (PDF)] Read more on President Obama Will Take Away Precious Liberties, Disband Boy Scouts, Let Russia Invade Poland Again…
  just desserts

Dobson Rails Against Fruitcake Constitution

You know who hates edible Christmas gifts and loves the New Testament? James Dobson, that’s who! And that’s why he despises Barack Obama and his delicious fruitcake Constitution for pointing out that Leviticus says a lot of wacky shit about shellfish. Wait, did that last bit make zero sense? Then it still makes one million times more sense than what Focus on the Family’s leader will be saying on his radio program today. Read more on Dobson Rails Against Fruitcake Constitution…
 

James Dobson’s batshit organization lays off 30 people because nobody’s giving money anymore because nobody hates fags or believes in Jesus enough. [Denver Channel]
 

Wonkette Conference Crash: FRC’s Washington Briefing

Gentlemen, start your praying! “Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that every day we inflict on ourselves another 9/11?” -Gary Bauer It was certainly news to us, but not to the thousand or so people watching with rapt attention the funny little man behind the podium at the Family Research Council’s (or FRC Action, their lobbying arm) “Washington Briefing” (or “Values Voters Summit“) last weekend. Gary Bauer — former head of the FRC ’til he pissed off the Christian Right by running for president, having an adultery scandal, and endorsing John McCain in 2000 — was the prodigal nutcase, welcomed with open arms as he riled the crowd up with stirring rhetoric that, unfortunately, came from a guy who looks and sounds like Radar from M*A*S*H. The conference lasted all weekend, and we were at, uh, part of it. Exciting coverage of Gary, Ann Coulter, Newt Gingrich, and yes, future United States Senator Katherine Harris (complete with pictures from Liz Gorman, Intrepid and Creeped Out Girl Reporter), is after the jump. Read more on Wonkette Conference Crash: FRC’s Washington Briefing…
 

Focus On F**king With James Dobson

Dobson’s the dude who runs Focus On the Family, a big evangelical operation out of Colorado. We have no issue with focusing on a family or the family or even several families, but Dobson’s real mission these days is to savagely harass the homosexuals while threatening GOP politicians with a Born-Again Backlash if they don’t push for homophobic anti-liberty laws. So why not spend some time “shopping” for crap off Dobson’s website? Instead of a purchase, what you’re really doing is ordering some materials in exchange for a “donation” … a donation of nothing! Read more on Focus On F**king With James Dobson…
 

Go Forth and Sin No Moo

This might be the greatest, most convincing website we have ever read. Gays must be denied domestic partnership benefits for the simple reason that dogs do not MOO. Get it? No? We’ll go slowly: Read more on Go Forth and Sin No Moo…
 

Left Behind: The Right Loves the Poor Until They’re Born

The Washington Post today reports on a protest at the Capitol today by religious groups who want to draw attention to Congress’s Grinchian end-of-the-year cuts in welfare (now that’s a war on Christmas). Among those groups urging a reversal that “brings good news to the poor”: the United Methodist Church, Episcopal Church, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Presbyterian Church USA and United Church of Christ. Missing from this faith-based fandango? Prominent member of the religious right. And there’s a good reason for that. They care about the poor, but they care more about fetuses. Or, as you might call them, the “pre-poor.” Says a Focus on the Family spokesman: Read more on Left Behind: The Right Loves the Poor Until They’re Born…