florida

So here is one of those stories that you really hope turns out not to be true, but it doesn’t look good: Florida Democrat Alan Grayson has been accused by his wife of having a “history of physical violence,” and a judge has issued a temporary protective injunction against him following an incident Saturday in […]

Straight from our “You have GOT to be fucking kidding me” desk: Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing three warning shots into the wall of her home while escaping from her (allegedly) abusive husband, is moving toward a new trial, so that is the good news, insofar as […]

A legally blind Florida man who shot a houseguest/drinking buddy to death during a fight in 2012, then was acquitted under the state’s “stand your ground” law, has won a lawsuit asking to have his guns returned to him. It is not known whether the guns suffered from having been away from their rightful owner. […]

Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your […]

You know what a fate worse than death would be? Paying the fry cook at your local McBurgerQueen slightly more than the shitty wage she is earning today. Weeper of the House John Boehner would rather kill himself than see hardworking Americans be able to earn a living wage. Per The Hill: Speaker John Boehner […]

Mystery fans know Carl Hiaasen for the likes of Strip Tease and Tourist Season, brutally improbable yarns of one-eyed governors solving real estate murder crimes made plausible by their meticulous south Florida settings. Like the surreal, hard-living Harlem of Chester Himes and the bleak, no-exit Philadelphia of David Goodis, Hiaasen’s Florida is a bright nihilistic […]

We have not been posting anything about the trial of Michael Dunn, the Responsible Gun Owner who shot 17-year-old Jordan Davis to death after an argument about loud music. Mostly because the story is depressing and really not funny. In November 2012, Dunn pulled into a Jacksonville, Florida, convenience store parking lot, got into an […]

Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist would like to get that job back, please, and now that he is no longer a RINO and has gone Full Democrat, he is serious about sounding like it. Which is why he is accusing current Gov. Rick Voldemort of putting the Dark Mark on Florida’s Poors, by not expanding […]

Last year, Barack Obama began his unending quest to ram Florida’s tender throat with an openly gay black judge, but Marco Rubio intervened and saved all of Florida, hallelujah Jesus be praised, because if one of the Senators from the nominee’s state doesn’t like him, that’s a nomination killer. Rubio blocked state court judge William […]

Doug Varrieur genuinely seems like a responsible gun owner. When he learned that the state of Florida permits near-unrestricted gunplay on one’s own property, he was naturally excited to set up some cans and start shooting. But! Before doing this, he made sure to construct a sturdy backstop to prevent the slaughter of innocents. He […]

Florida congresshoover Trey Radel, the “hip-hop conservative” who went and got himself busted for cocaine possession back in November, will resign today, according to pretty much everyone. His letter to Speaker John Boehner says, “is my belief that professionally I cannot fully and effectively serve as a United States Representative to the place I love […]

So here we are, not quite to the end of the first month of Election Year 2014, and already some of the fine crop of fringe candidates have been felled or gravely sent to the Mockatorium by their own stoopid mouths. Let’s take a quick look at some of the folks who have either dropped […]

Welp, time for another of our periodic muckings-out of the old comments queue. Friday’s piece on David Brooks and his explanation of why “income inequality” ain’t no thing was not well-received by “DavDar,” whose pseudonym suggests they have an uncanny ability to spot any Daves in the room at a glance. DavDar is one of […]

Voters in Florida’s 18th Congressional District face a difficult decision in August — should they try to find a viable Republican candidate to face Patrick Murphy, who defeated Allen West in 2012, or should they try this guy: Ilya Katz, a self-described “political refugee of the Soviet Union” who claims to have spent “ten years […]

We all know about how Sarah Palin makes sure to read all the newspapers in existence, though if you ask her about that, you’re being a bitch and you get what you deserve. In stark contrast to the voracious reading habits of Ms. Palin, we have the State Attorney for Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit Court, […]