Today Sarah Palin is visiting the Villages, which, according to the Internet’s famous Talking Points Memo, “is a heavily Republican community that is a must-stop for campaigning politicians in a key battleground state. The Villages is in central Florida about 60 miles northwest of Orlando.” So Presidential speculation, etc. etc.! Your Wonkette had never even heard of the Villages or the crucial Republican Villages People, which is why Editor Jim Newell suggested we watch this commercial. So, this is what Sarah Palin is doing today! Levi Johnston wins this round by default. [YouTube, TPM]

Oh ho ho! When Charlie Crist sends one of these to you — the fraudster Scott Rothstein in this case, ROWR — then you know he wants a “meeting in the governor’s office.” “Without pants.” “Because of gayness.” [TPM]

Here is insane Florida death-monster Jim Greer, the famous state Republican party chair who last week shouted these important words, at America: “The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power.” But then he read the speech and… and… and it was okay BUT NOT WHAT OBAMA ORIGINALLY WANTED TO TELL THE YOUNGS, which was probably “Free cocksucking for all.” MORE »

Another Friday, another very minor political story closes out. Everything thank old Dan Balz for using the adjective “taps” in this Charlie Crist story, as is required. [Washington Post]

Rich car-owning operative “Amanda” sends notice of the latest terrible decoration that the monsters are swapping around: “Hi, I’m a longtime reader living in Gainesville, FL. Driving around town this morning, I sat at a stop light behind a woman in a white Mitsubishi with the bumper sticker ‘Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Sarah!’ with this website on it: http://ivotedforsarah.com.” It’s funny because “Palin voters” can STILL BE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING. But you really should visit this bumper sticker’s website; we promise that there aren’t any “biggest fucking hi-res pictures of Sarah Palin ever” on the front page. [I Voted For Sarah]

Everybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early? MORE »

Here, here is one of a bajillion videos out on the Web about Town Hall meetings full of belligerent shouting jackasses. People are just animals. (Especially in Florida.) [CNN]

The most recent angry Republican to get caught sending an offensive email about the president wants to make it clear, as usual, that he didn’t mean to offend anybody, and in fact “the image has nothing to do with my feelings or thoughts on any race or culture.” He wants to focus on stopping Obama’s health care reform proposal, which should be totally easy now that the whole world knows him as “another racist wingnut” rather than “that neurosurgeon with (kooky) ideas about healthcare.” [TPMMuckraker]

America’s favorite orange-skinned reformed bachelor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, is a pretty OK guy stuck with the unenviable task of governing a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons. But now Crist has chosen to act like something of a dick to nice Sonia Sotomayor, for whom he would not vote if he were a senator due to her maybe being wishy-washy on the Second Amendment — which is Governor Crists’s favorite amendment of all. MORE »

Hey speaking of our favorite Florida Republicans, how’s the gay moderate wing of the Florida GOP faring against the Cuban wingnut wing, in terms of primary fundraising dollars? Let’s examine Charlie Crist’s ongoing Senatorial death-battle with Latin heartthrob Marco Rubio and make some conclusions! MORE »

Jeb Bush, the slightly less odious brother of former President George W. Bush, delighted the nation when he revealed he wouldn’t be running for Florida’s open Senate seat because huzzah, an election without Bushes! But even if he’s skipping the rounds for 2010, might he have bigger ambitions in mind for 2012? MORE »