WASHINGTON, DC, 01:43 PM, SAT NOVEMBER 7 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘florida’

REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Vulgar Florida GOP Chair Made Obama Give Non-Socialist Education Speech, You See

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Here is insane Florida death-monster Jim Greer, the famous state Republican party chair who last week shouted these important words, at America: “The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power.” But then he read the speech and… and… and it was okay BUT NOT WHAT OBAMA ORIGINALLY WANTED TO TELL THE YOUNGS, which was probably “Free cocksucking for all.” MORE »


TODAY IN TEMPORARY SENATE REPLACEMENTS

Charlie Crist Taps Random French Queer To ‘Warm His Seat’

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Another Friday, another very minor political story closes out. Everything thank old Dan Balz for using the adjective “taps” in this Charlie Crist story, as is required. [Washington Post]


STEAL THESE CARS

It’s America’s Hottest New Bumper Sticker

Monday, August 10th, 2009

Rich car-owning operative “Amanda” sends notice of the latest terrible decoration that the monsters are swapping around: “Hi, I’m a longtime reader living in Gainesville, FL. Driving around town this morning, I sat at a stop light behind a woman in a white Mitsubishi with the bumper sticker ‘Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Sarah!’ with this website on it: http://ivotedforsarah.com.” It’s funny because “Palin voters” can STILL BE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING. But you really should visit this bumper sticker’s website; we promise that there aren’t any “biggest fucking hi-res pictures of Sarah Palin ever” on the front page. [I Voted For Sarah]


QUITTERS

Senator Mel Martinez Quits Early

Friday, August 7th, 2009

We thought we'd try a 'tasteful' BlingeeEverybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early? MORE »


LET'S ALL MOVE TO SWEDEN

Tampa Town Hall Packed To Rafters With Yelling Nutballs

Friday, August 7th, 2009

Here, here is one of a bajillion videos out on the Web about Town Hall meetings full of belligerent shouting jackasses. People are just animals. (Especially in Florida.) [CNN]


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Latest Racist Email Sender Apologizes

Friday, July 24th, 2009

In what way is this offensive?The most recent angry Republican to get caught sending an offensive email about the president wants to make it clear, as usual, that he didn’t mean to offend anybody, and in fact “the image has nothing to do with my feelings or thoughts on any race or culture.” He wants to focus on stopping Obama’s health care reform proposal, which should be totally easy now that the whole world knows him as “another racist wingnut” rather than “that neurosurgeon with (kooky) ideas about healthcare.” [TPMMuckraker]


GUN ADVOCATES

Crist Won’t Endorse Sotomayor

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Crist throws a Hail MaryAmerica’s favorite orange-skinned reformed bachelor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, is a pretty OK guy stuck with the unenviable task of governing a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons. But now Crist has chosen to act like something of a dick to nice Sonia Sotomayor, for whom he would not vote if he were a senator due to her maybe being wishy-washy on the Second Amendment — which is Governor Crists’s favorite amendment of all. MORE »


EXCITING MOMENTS IN FUNDRAISING

Charlie Crist Raised So Much Money You Guys!

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

And he growed a mustache.Hey speaking of our favorite Florida Republicans, how’s the gay moderate wing of the Florida GOP faring against the Cuban wingnut wing, in terms of primary fundraising dollars? Let’s examine Charlie Crist’s ongoing Senatorial death-battle with Latin heartthrob Marco Rubio and make some conclusions! MORE »


WHAT IS SOCIALISM?

Smarter Bush Brother Gives Interview

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Tortured soul, obvs.Jeb Bush, the slightly less odious brother of former President George W. Bush, delighted the nation when he revealed he wouldn’t be running for Florida’s open Senate seat because huzzah, an election without Bushes! But even if he’s skipping the rounds for 2010, might he have bigger ambitions in mind for 2012? MORE »


LAKERS VS. MAGIC

Congresswomen Waters And Brown Go Nuts Over Basketball

Monday, June 8th, 2009


Hey nerds how much do you love NBA Finals season, hmmm? Feast your eyes on this cute thing, which involves two political ladies trash-talking over their basketball teams. Maxine Waters won’t even shake her friend’s hand, that is how serious she is about this dispute. [The YouTube]


HELP WANTED

‘Participation On the Office Bocce Team Is Encouraged’

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Legislative Correspondent - Congresswoman Brown-Waite seeks a highly motivated individual with exceptional writing and organizational skills. Responsibilities include coordinating and responding to constituent inquiries, assisting legislative staff, training/supervising interns, and answering phones. Successful applicants will have a working knowledge of Congress, a knack for research, well developed critical thinking skills, patience and tact. Participation on the office bocce team is encouraged. To apply, please submit your resume, a cover letter, and an essay explaining that if you were to give the Queen an iPod, what would you load on it and why to Katharine_____@mail.house.gov.

[GOP Job Bank]