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Posts Tagged ‘florida’

LAKERS VS. MAGIC

Congresswomen Waters And Brown Go Nuts Over Basketball

Monday, June 8th, 2009


Hey nerds how much do you love NBA Finals season, hmmm? Feast your eyes on this cute thing, which involves two political ladies trash-talking over their basketball teams. Maxine Waters won’t even shake her friend’s hand, that is how serious she is about this dispute. [The YouTube]


HELP WANTED

‘Participation On the Office Bocce Team Is Encouraged’

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Legislative Correspondent - Congresswoman Brown-Waite seeks a highly motivated individual with exceptional writing and organizational skills. Responsibilities include coordinating and responding to constituent inquiries, assisting legislative staff, training/supervising interns, and answering phones. Successful applicants will have a working knowledge of Congress, a knack for research, well developed critical thinking skills, patience and tact. Participation on the office bocce team is encouraged. To apply, please submit your resume, a cover letter, and an essay explaining that if you were to give the Queen an iPod, what would you load on it and why to Katharine_____@mail.house.gov.

[GOP Job Bank]


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Republican Base Also Hates Charlie Crist

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

Brothers in Arms.Beloved wingnut blog RedState has taken an important stand against the Senate campaign of orange-skinned gay RINO and Florida Governor Charlie Crist. “If the NRSC thinks this is smart, we must not waste our time or energy with them,” RedState’s Erick Erickson wrote today. “Join me in pledging no money, no help, no aid, and no support for the NRSC’s efforts in the 2010 election cycle.” Yes! MORE »


WHEEE

Here’s Your First Gay Attack Ad On Charlie Crist

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Oh dear, poor Chuckles. His Senate challenger, Wingnut #A, has already thrown together his first secretly-has-gay-overtones attack ad against the orange governor, who is shown “embracing” Barack Obama, intimately, maybe with his mouth. Or are we reading into this too much? Obviously! But still, OY. Being secretly gay will not make this a fun year-long primary season for Charlie Crist. [The Plum Line]


ORGAN GRINDER

Charlie Crist Jokes Just Writing Themselves

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

You don't say.
So says the conservative online comedy hour, The Corner. MORE »


DECLARATIONS

It’s Official!

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Florida Reveals Tasteful New License Plate

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower.
Who’s classy now? Florida, again, as always! Here’s the new “vanity plate,” featuring America’s favorite (?) Christian star, Dead Jesus Hanging Off a License Plate With an Orange Behind His Head. This is gonna look sweet with a brass pair of Truck Nutz swingin’ down below. [The Awl]


CARTOON VIOLENCE

Terror and Sadness (and Sad, Terrifying Boredom)

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Cartoon Violence!By the Comics Curmudgeon
So obviously, living in America today is one long roller-coaster ride of joy and despair and rage, because of the Depression and the Politics. And so our political cartoons reflect this our discordant reality. Why should we expect sanity and levelheadedness in newsprint when we cannot find it life? Join us on an ink-stained journey into the heart of darkness, as the cross-hatched drawings scrawled out furiously in some dank, half-empty newsroom reveal the terrifying secrets that lie within America’s heart. MORE »


DEVIOUS PLOTS

DNC Primary Commission To Abolish Florida, Michigan

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

The Clintonite factionRemember how awesome the news was this time last year, all full of “Hillary Clinton called Barack Obama a plagiarist” and “Mark Penn sucks balls” and that time the governor of New York got caught with an unimaginatively tattooed hooker who had a Hit Song on Myspace for like a day and a half? Jesus God, those were glorious days. We had no AIG to worry about, our dollars were still worth a dollar, and this here web site wrote about politics instead of boring financial news all the time. MORE »


MASTER OF DISASTER

Obama Picks Florida Person To Run Hurricaines

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

I'll be surfin' in your swamp on Saturday night ...FEMA is the secretive X-Files agency that builds the Concentration Camps for American poors who will somehow be fattened up even more so the Space Monsters can have food and also get diabetes. But in tragic reality, FEMA is just this inept federal agency that makes sure shit goes very wrong whenever there’s a hurricane. And hurricanes often happen in America’s Dumbest State, Flordia, so that’s why Barack Obama picked some random FLA person to help flood America. MORE »


THAT'S NOT RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE

Florida Cracker Visits Chain Bookshop

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Rush Limbaugh is at it again!
Here’s your charming racist Obama-related stunt of the day: Some jackass cleverly put a book about monkeys in a window display of Obama books, at a Barnes & Noble in Florida. Ha ha so funny! Barnes & Noble has apologized for this thing it didn’t do, so this one blogger says “Yeah sure. Blame it on the customers.” Because, obviously, Barnes & Noble management cleverly planned this racially offensive outrage to, uh, make people boycott the stores or something, right? Kindle? [Sandra Rose/Snopes]