florida
One unfortunate Mitt Romney supporter in Florida seems to have discovered a novel way of getting kicked out of a campaign event: Alan Reynolds showed up to a Mittens rally with a sign bearing the (mysterious?) collection of words, “Tea Party Includes Cuban Coffee Romney.” NOT COOL, said Romney campaign staff. Because Mitt Romney does [...]
Republican Florida state Sen. Ronda Storms has seen enough of these poor assholes in her grocery line buying candy and salty potato chips and chemical cancer juices with their food stamps. They’re everywhere, these poor people! You may have seen one yourself, hmm? It’s time to kill them all. Or at least to stick it [...]
Mittens-hating muffin is noooot too psyched about what happened in Florida on Tuesday. HE LOST. GOODBYE. Oh, you’re still here. Instead of accepting that no one south of the very Southern north of Florida likes him at all, Gingrich has suddenly decided that the winner-takes-all ruling on the Florida primary is about as fair as [...]
Rick Tyler, Newt Gingrich’s former communications director and now the head of his super PAC Bloviating About Our Future, had/created a terrible time on MSNBC following Tuesday’s primary in Florida. Rachel Maddow had Tyler on during her primary coverage to talk about whether Gingrich’s superbly negative Florida not-victory speech was using “racially coded language” to [...]
Mitt Romney, most undeserving and unexcited winner of the Florida primary since at least 2004, was utterly bored out of his skull during his victory speech in Florida Tuesday, though he at least kept up the practice of being EVIL, my friend, and took the Evil Show to a post-results chat with CNN’s Soledad O’Brien. [...]
“Florida is a microcosm of America,” we just heard one of the Romney and/or Gingrich spin-whores say on the MSNBC just now. Yes, because Florida is a limp dick dangling over a sex-slave resort in the Dominican Republic or whatever. Also, America is truly a symbol of America. Just look at the map, and look [...]
Probable Florida primary loser and mean-spirited twerp Newt Gingrich will FAIL to colonize the moon because he will never become president, but you know what he CAN colonize? That one little patch of grass, yeah that one right over there where a lone Ron Paul supporter is standing quietly holding up a sign. Newt Gingrich [...]
It is a very exciting time in Florida, for the elderly right-wing Cubans and elderly moderate-Republican condo dwellers and the middle-aged anger bears driving around in their nearly repo’d giant pickups hoping for a devastating hurricane so they can do some construction again. Florida! It’s a lot like the United States, but even scuzzier and [...]
Our libertarian-Bostonian correspondent is on the road in Florida, chasing the GOP clowns. Here is a video-photo dispatch from him! JACKSONVILLE — We always feel bad for the poor interns/work-study kids who get stuck holding those goofy signs in spin rooms after debates. Don’t their arms get tired? We asked one of the poor bastards [...]
Mitt Romney, who was slightly more humanoid in 1994 than he is today, also thought blind trusts, of which he has one, and which he passionately defended during Thursday night’s Jacksonville debate, were terrible, devious things. How exactly did he put it? Oh yes, a blind trust is an “age-old ruse.”
Welcome to the last GOP presidential debate of …eh, “tonight” is about all we can say for certain these days. UGH. Here’s a preview: Newt Gingrich will sneer at some minority and the audience will gnaw its fingers off with excitement, Mitt Romney will be asked to compare and contrast the feeling of wiping his [...]
Here’s a wacky fun-time ritual thing the Mormons do that you may or may not have heard about: they love to baptize dead people and thus declare them members of their magic moon faith, mostly so that the Mormons can claim a 7 billion person membership similar to the way that those McDonald’s signs claim [...]
Mark Oxner, a Republican running for Congress in Florida’s brand new 27th district, which will include parts of Orlando, just released this ad, which he promises to be the first of many. It depicts President Obama as a pirate who enslaves children to row his ship to its demise over a waterfall. Former Florida Representative [...]
Where were you when you found out Mitt Romney made $42.5 million in two years? On the toilet, as you are now? Well the truth is that this Republican f—-runner would like to downplay this significant Event in our country’s history by telling you that, actually, he paid ‘closer to 40 or 50 percent’ in [...]
