florida
Perennial top contender for America’s most fervently incompetent governor Rick Scott is working hard for the title even on a trade mission to Spain: He managed to earn immediate ridicule from the country’s 47 million residents within actual seconds of meeting the King of Spain. He’s efficient! King Juan Carlos has lately been in hot [...]
Last week we wrote about the latest program that House Republicans drew from their box of Valuable Programs That Benefit Any Number Of People And Aren’t That Expensive But Should Be Destroyed Solely Because A Democrat Likes Them, the American Community Survey — a form of several dozens questions sent to random households each month, [...]
Sometimes when you’re watching reruns of not-so-old TV shows, you wonder about what ever happened to the bit players. I mean, sure, Joey from Friends will never have to work a day in his life again (which is good, because he probably won’t), but what if you’re one of the ladies who played his interchangeable [...]
This just in: a catastrophic miscarriage of justice took place in the South Bronx when tens of thousands of votes went uncounted in the 2010 Senate and Governor’s election, but luckily South Bronx is full of Poors and also everyone knew who was going to win anyway. This came to light when the radio station [...]
Hello, it is called “freedom to assemble” and “freedom of association” and “freedom of speech” and “freedom to try to manufacture ricin” and it is IN THE CONSTITUTION, SHEEPLE. Why is the government illegally arresting all these various white supremacists just because they are trying to start a race war? Because Barack Obama wants your [...]
Dear reader, in the course of going about your day today did you somehow manage to forget that we are inching ever closer towards some sort of Handmaid’s Tale style dystopian nightmare run by sexist racist morons? First, let us congratulate you, and then shake you out of your reverie by telling you about the [...]
Noted American humorist Dave Barry once remarked that the main jobs of a lieutenant governor are to wear a tie and call up the governor once a day to make sure he or she isn’t dead. And that was pretty funny … in the ’80s, when your Comics Curmudgeon was in junior high and loved [...]
Round about a month ago, your Wonkette informed you of the stupid state law/clusterfuck that precluded the city of Tampa from restricting guns around the site of the Republican National Convention. “Stupid idiot,” snitted some jive-ass commenters, “why do you make a big deal out of this obviously the Secret Service won’t let any guns [...]
Tampa, Fla – Churches, bathroom stalls and NAMBLA can take a well-deserved five. The GOP circus is coming to Tampa and the city’s finer purveyor of tittay are hauling them out and boosting them up in preparation! There is so much business expected, businesses are working in harmony, helping out their competitors, and city residents [...]
West Palm Beach, Fla – Y’all ready to see if George H.W. Bush’s testes can ruin the world (again)? Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush says he might prove it by considering a shot at the veep spot, if asked nicely by Willard. But he doesn’t think Willard likes him that way. That’s ok, because even [...]
Scott Walker, alleged man, has been having a great couple of weeks, to the delight of possibly Ted Nugent and we are not sure who else but they are out there somewhere. Walker attended the NRA camo/assassination party last week and now gracefully steps in it by declaring not only his love of Ted Nugent, [...]
Weston, Florida – Floridians can breathe a sigh of relief and unlock their doors at night. There is no more need for police officers, and every senior citizen is now safe without the threat of being eaten by rap zombies. How did Weston create such an amazing utopia for its residents? How did they erase [...]
PALM BEACH, Fla. – Willard Romney took a moment out of his daily dog and pony show to deliver some real ideas a la Romney. This wasn’t a typical Romnification of bullshit jib jab. These were actual ideas coming from the Republican contender. This was a closed-door fundraiser that was held by some of Romney’s [...]
So let’s see what did Ozzie Guillen say about ruthless bloodthirsty dictator Fidel Castro? That he should execute more people and have more political prisoners, right? And that Miami Cubans are bullshit? Something like that? Let’s have a look! Usually defiant in the face of criticism, Guillen has instead sounded remorseful and said he’s had [...]
Florida GOP Rep. Sandy Adams heard a thing on the Internet, and she will fight it with her very last breath! Is it that thing on the Internet about Girl Scouts = abortion? No it is not that one. Is it the one about Michelle Obama sexing up her unnamed Secret Service agent? No, that [...]
