floods
Benevolent God Floods Georgetown
Storms this weekend raged through the mid-Atlantic, and the Act of God (like another Act of God, the U.S. Constitution) left dozens dead. Still, there was a reason the Lord did this: to rid the world of Georgetown once and for all. Laura Keivel, who passed along the images from the Harbour this morning, tells [...]
Celebrate Fifty Years of Horrible Teevee Politics
Fifty years ago yesterday, Americans gathered around the boob tube to watch John Kennedy debate Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon was sweaty and forgot to powder his nose, so he lost for being so ugly — if he was handsome he probably would have won, which he eventually did, in 1968, “when it mattered.” Point is: [...]
JOE BIDEN WILL THROW DOWN ANYWHERE, ANYTIME: So Barack Obama wanted to get rid of Joe Biden for the day and settled on sending him to Georgia, to say “hi” to the flood victims down there. Immediately after arriving, Joe Biden addressed the local disaster relief officials and proclaimed, “They’re all doing one heck of [...]
Why Do Muskrats Hate America?
Wonkette Semi-Aquatic Rodent Operative “Claiborne” asks this very important question, and the answer is: because they are terrorists. New evidence reveals that violent extremist muskrats perpetrated today’s breach of the levees north of St. Louis. Shocking video footage of these terrorists plotting their takeover of Missouri, after the jump.
Bush And McCain Look At Floods In Iowa, While Actively Avoiding Each Other
Like a full goddamn week after Jesus flooded the entirety of Iowa, President George W. Bush will travel to our heartland to view the devastation today, and he will patriotically not play golf. But there’s a problem for the Republicans here: John McCain will also be looking at floods in Iowa today. Shit! You see, [...]
Washington DC to Become Quaint Portrait of a Simpler Time, Also Drown
DNC Cuts and Runs in War on Dampness
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