Guess who’s coming to Cena? It’s anti-Mexican lady governor Jan Brewer, fresh from her family’s Time Machine Battles with Hitler! After enjoying a Taco-free lunch, Brewer told President Obama she’s sorry but she will need to see his papers to make sure he’s American. And whaddya know, he said he left his Birth Certificate on […]

Terrible oil spills destroying however many states/Gulfs of Mexico? Stock market collapse, again? Who cares, just look at these sexy grownup people dressed all fancy and not having sex affairs with bloggers or whatever.

New York Times op-ed columnist Bill Kristol Bono paid a very special visit to Barack Obama’s White House. And Bono did a dance. And Barack Obama laughed. And the BP oil spill should reach Ireland shortly.

The world’s most terrible criminal, Barack Obama, can’t even honor America when he throws the “first pitch” at the baseball game. Here is scandalous photographic evidence posted by the White House photographer on the White House Flickr website showing the war-crazed pacifist literally practicing for his first pitch at the Nationals’ game the other night. […]

Child exorcist Bobby Jindal got to ride on the president’s helicopter on Sunday, which was super-exciting, but that awful oil spill is still about to destroy what’s left of Louisiana’s economy and environment. [White House Flickr]

Why did Barack Obama stop by Billy Graham’s golden tent revival castle? Just tradition, we suppose. Graham somehow gets to hang out with presidents, and he has done so since the time of Harry S. Truman. Billy even got to play golf with the papist John F. Kennedy, who did not request the Southern Baptist […]

Nine million of you people have sent us the link to the Teabonics Flickr photo album or pool or stream or whatever the kids call it these days. So here you go, do visit it! We had never seen RESISANCE before, sweet jeebus… [Pargon/Flickr]

Oh just another White House Flickr picture of Barack Obama desecrating the Oval Office by not wearing his suit jacket, same old scene, mysterious white guy on the couch overseeing everything, nothing to see here, right? WRONG. Wonkette operative “Lily E.” instructs us to look just to the left of Obama’s wristwatch. No, not at […]

The Wonkette news-room is On Assignment, with Jim Newell and Liz Glover on Capitol Hill just cold getting drunk and taking videos and photographs. We will post these once we have them. Meanwhile, the House is about to vote on the Slaughterhouse Five rule, which requires every fifth Republican representative to “have an abortion,” on […]

While our country is falling apart and the cretins are terrorizing the old and the sickly, here’s your president Barack Obama with a bunch of … movie directors. Jesus, this guy. What next, having Spielberg show E.T. to Reagan in the White House? Anyway, this scene looks familiar ….

While you were being gnawed to death by Ice Rats, the White House socialist Bo Obama Kennedy was just fooling around in the snow. Next week he’ll be on the cover of The Sports Illustrated with his snowy ass in the air as if he just did not care. Also, things he found under the […]

Here’s a special Xmas Photo of your president and first lady “getting down” (that’s Chicago ACORN talk) with the red space monster “MUNO” from teevee’s Yo Gabba Gabba. Who would want to go to Hawaii when you could do this all night, in front of a portrait of George Washington, WHO BUILT THIS HOUSE WITH […]

Plus! How serious and historical is the Internet’s new photo that will never be displayed out of context? [White House Flickr]

Is Hanukkah/Chanukah finally over, so we can get on with the true Jewish Christmas? Yes? Hooray! Here’s a picture of Barack and Michelle just cold putting a “crown of eight thorns” on this poor kid’s head. And the official “Two Weeks of Fucking Off” have officially begun, praise be to Kwanzaa, peace be upon Him.

While you were eating the rest of that bag of chips and wondering whether to watch the teevee or stalk your ex on Facebook, Joe Biden and Barack Obama were dressed in evening clothes at the Kennedy Center, arguing the merits of recent work by Kennedy Center honorees Bruce Springsteen and Robert DeNiro. Biden’s opinion? […]