Wonkette

You’ve seen the drunken Bush falling down the stadium steps, you’ve seen the sweaty drunken Bush baffled by the volleyball gal’s ass, and you’ve seen him making terrible faces while his daughter cringes. You maybe even saw a similar shot to this one, over at Gawker’s nice collection of Bush In China Foto Funnies, but this is something special, so very special and retarded. TWO-MINUTES LATER UPDATE: It’s a crappy photoshop. But funny! [Democratic Underground]

Here’s Hillary at the Sheet Metal Local 19 union hall in Philadelphia today, just hanging out, munching on some Slim Jims while simultaenously smoking a pack of L&M’s and drinking a case of beer. And then this huge American flag just had it, and it ate her alive, the end. [AP Photo/NBC 10]

For anyone who has ever wondered just how much Michael Moore hates America, or how secretly Communist/totalitarian Barack Obama supporters are, one need look no further than a few key photographs culled from top-secret locations such as funerals and campaign headquarters. For example, did you know that the Muslim Hezbollahs worship at the feet of our fattest American director, Mr. Michael “Sicko” Moore? MORE »

Out in rural North Carolina, life moves a little slower, and folks are a little more old fashioned. Yep, out in Buncombe County, things haven’t changed much since the days when America was charmed by the antics of the Mayberry Sheriff’s Department each week. So naturally when some hippies (probably city folk) decided to fly their American flag upside down, well, those small town cops moseyed over there to see what the fuss was about, then beat the shit out of them. MORE »

This past Memorial Day caretakers at the Oak Hill Cemetery in Neenah, Wisconsin noticed that more than two dozen American flags were missing from the graves of military veterans. Who was to blame — commies? terrorists? beatniks? No, the answer was even more chilling: our so-called “friends” in the rogue animal kingdom. MORE »

Last night’s celebration of America’s sorry culture at least produced this telling photograph of the random honorees and the First and Second couples. MORE »

The state that most fears the Black Man having sexual intercourse with the White Gal has yet another Traditional Southern Values scandal, and this time it involves deep fryers … and little American flags, which were tastily battered in with egg, flour and pepper before being dropped in hot peanut oil. MORE »

Today’s Cartoons aren’t gonna mercilessly mock themselves. No, that’s why every Friday we invite respected cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon over for a barbecue — well, to make fun of cartoons and to burn flags. Just because we can.

In this very special patriotism-choked edition of Cartoon Violence, we celebrate our nation’s independence by mocking its weight and its iconic historical, mythic, and pop cultural figures. Fun in the sun, after the jump.

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* Don’t fret, we wouldn’t let an idle summer week pass without a shallow poll. Thus, we proudly present: The Hill Intern Hotties competition. Since everyone already knows how this works, we’ll just let you speed along - boys’ poll here and girls’ poll here. In case you’re one of those “readers,” we’ve also got written testimonials for all the pretty girls and all the strong men. MORE »