… Is fisting. Yeah, so? [YouTube]

FOX NEWS DISCOVERS ‘TERRORIST FIST JAB’: Yes they can! Our favorite teevee news says Michelle and Barack Obama’s cool move with the Respect Knuckles is actually a secret Muslim fisting ritual for Terror. Jesus fucking christ these Fox News people need to die, of terror fisting AIDS, because they’re not even funny anymore. [Gawker]

Ice, buses, John Edwards, coffee shops, ethanol, farmers, ice, darkness … is it any wonder the national press corps is having a group nervous breakdown in Iowa? Here are some grim blind-item examples of people with broken hearts and broken minds: MORE »

Here they are, all seven of them: two closeted gays, four old guys, and a midget. Thanks to Wonkette Commenter RPTRCUB for this disquieting discovery.

The National Association of W Lovers [Sesame Street]

* For those of you in a coma last week, guess what?! Nancy Pelosi was chosen as Speaker of the House, Steny Hoyer beat out John Murtha for Majority Leader. Blah, blah, news. Tom DeLay said he wants to give Nancy Pelosi “the shocker.” Murtha got jealous and said he wanted to give it to her, too, and that he wants what Nancy wants. Trent Lott is Minority Whip, and it has been a week of “whip minorities” jokes.
* Mel Martinez is the new head of the RNC. He’s straight, feels left out.
* Orientation Week created lots of fun for journalists, especially those at the Philadelphia Inquirer who believe being naive about the D.C. housing market is what Borat’s all about. It was a crazy week, in general, so join us after the jump for more filthy highlights.

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Yesterday, Roll Call, whose crack staff is clearly as easily entertained as we are, tracked down the Facebook profile of yet another spawn of the Senate Majority Leader. This is the middle son, Jonathan, who’s attending Vanderbilt. The profile, alas, has been deleted permanently. But not before our operatives got their hands on this picture of John Frist:

Makeshift Beer belt/holster: Totally classic. Height of pants: Weird. MORE »

* ok, it’s become obvious that, like sadaam, she has body doubles. how else can she look so different in all those photos. also, this body double is clearly a tranny.
* I’M FROM GEORGIA AND I’M A BLOGGER– HELL, I’LL RUN AGAINST HER TOO!
* When will somebody finally stand up and run against McKinney on a Pro-Biggie platform. Why must Big Poppa remain the third rail of Georgia politics?
* Several years ago, when I was a hill intern, I had a guy graphically describe to me the process of putting a cow down with a machete. See, he couldn’t own a gun, because people with spouses or former spouses who have restraining orders against them for violence or the threat thereof are prohibit from purchasing firearms in the great state of Oregon. So he had a sick cow, and wanted to put it down, and couldn’t shoot it, so he hacked it to death, then called me to tell me all about it so that my office would change the (state, not federal) law that got in his way. Yeah, just the kind of guy I hope is packing heat. He ended the call with “Now, I know you liberals aren’t planning on changing anything, but I call in every couple of months just to let you know that not all of your constituents are okay with your lefty ideas.” Oh, I almost forgot the best part - he asked me at one point “Is there a second amendment?” Without discussing it’s many interpretations, I admited that there was, in fact, a second amendment. That, for him, was tantamount to an admission that the state was unfairly denying him his right to be batshit crazy with a gun. Ah, constituents.
* Well, the analogy to Red Rover doesn’t really work… You never really hear a chant that goes, “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Jorge come over, but he has to go back to the other team in 2-5 turns.”
* I was thrilled to realize, after reading this, that apparently you can’t use the word “fisting” in the Post.