fiscal cliff
Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It
Sometimes you have to burn the village to save it, every soldier knows that, which means it also totally makes sense that you have to shut down the government and then completely deprive it of revenue to fix it. Hear that? Just SHUT THAT SUCKER DOWN, the economy won’t mind at all. And then when [...]
Reports: Congress Expected To Continue Acting Insane
Good morning! It seems appropriate to complement all of this “fiscal cliff averted!” news with a polite reminder that this deal in no way means Congress will stop acting like scotch-drunk shitbirds with a hostage and nothing to lose.
You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!
Remember just before Christmas, when we told you how everybody was dumping on poor John Boehner, for the minor crime of being a total mess? Turns out all this fiscal cliff hullaballoo may have taken a toll on Old Weepy. Late last week, see, while Boehner was in the midst of the legislative cat-herding that [...]
Joe Biden: Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster
What’s Joey B. been talkin’ since singlehandedly saving the country or something (we don’t know, the Kossacks seem pretty ready to murder)? Here is Joe Biden over the past 16 or so hours: What’d you tell the Senate Dems? “This is Joe Biden. I’m your buddy.” What’s gonna happen with the House? “I think we’re [...]
Your Wayback Time Machine To Last August’s House Vote On The Fiscal Cliff
Perhaps you have just watched John Boehner manage to stop himself from weeping through his press conference outlining where we go now, after yesterday’s ceremonial Shitting of the Bed. And you noticed (after of course noticing the ease with which he told fat lies like he was Mitt Romney in orangeface, again) that he mentioned [...]
Your Big Fat Wonkette Guide To The ‘Plan B’ Fiscal Cliff Nonsense Tornado
What the hell happened last night, and why does everybody think John Boehner is a big toolbox? Ok. Deep breaths. We will work our way through this together. The problem is the “fiscal cliff,” which is a thing invented by Congress to make themselves look like assholes. House Speaker John Boehner (R-The Sun) and Barack [...]
Lindsey Graham: Macho Man of the Senate
When you think big, tough, macho senators, isn’t Lindsey Graham really the first one that comes to mind? We’ve had many occasions to cover his manliness. Hell, we even did a children’s treasury of Lindsey’s butchest moments. That’s why we are sure it comes as no surprise that Lindsey visited Fox News to call for [...]
Courageous Nakeds Swarm Boehner
You know, there’s really nothing better than getting naked with your friends, amirite? Hanging out, feeling free, lighting some candles, putting on some Sarah McLachlan, applying body paint and glitter to each other, heading over to John Boehner’s place…OK. Maybe not that last part. Nobody wants that last part. Not even Mrs. Boehner. Is there [...]
Great GOP Hope Marco Rubio: Let’s Just Go Ahead and Let Rich People Do Whatever
Marco Rubio, who we have been told is the New Face of the Republican party, has a brilliant take on solving the so-called fiscal cliff: let’s just go ahead and let rich people do whatever they want because they’ll hire a bunch of lawyers and do what they want no matter what so we might [...]
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