• TODAY’S POLITICAL GOSSIP RENDERED USELESS: Just up on First Read: “As Delaware Sen. Joe Biden left his home a few minutes ago, golf clubs in tow, he was asked where he was going to be on Saturday. Biden replied, ‘Here’ and pointed down to his driveway. As he pulled out of the driveway in the driver’s seat of his car he then said to the press gathered near his gate, ‘You guys have better things to do. I’m not the guy.’” We really don’t have better things to do, Joe. [Sigh]. It’s totally gonna be that boring Sebelius gal, isn’t it? [First Read]

CLOVEN-HOOFED MONSTERS INVADE ‘FIRST READ’ BLOG: Jesus God, what is that thing? Is that Mr. Tumnus reading the Washington Post? [First Read]

Hillary Clinton and her demonic velociraptor “surrogates” have linked Barack Obama to all sorts of unsavory figures: Jesse Jackson, Deval Patrick, Tony Rezko, and Martin Luther King Jr. But a new surrogate, Tom Buffenbarger — president of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, which represents space rocket makers and such — has upped the negative ante: Barack Obama is the Roman god Janus, the most dangerous terrorist since Rosa Parks. MORE »