Tag Archives: first ladies

 

Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad

Polite small talk over cucumber sandwiches and Earl Gray may work for some tea parties, but Janet Huckabee likes talking weapons. During a tea party at the South Carolina governor’s mansion, Huckabee told CNN she’s pretty good with a grenade launcher. “I have fired a grenade launcher and hit the target two out of three times, so I think that’s pretty good odds for me,” she said, noting that she had a special interest in military matters and has also jumped out of an airplane, flown in an F-16 and shot an MP5 submachine gun. Read more on Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad…
 

BREAKING: Bill Clinton Turns Down Chance To Hang Out With Jeri Thompson

Bored and frustrated by life in Sacramento’s golden cage, California First Lady Maria Shriver has decided to invite a bunch of potential first ladies to a big gabfest tomorrow! They’ll do their nails, talk about boys, and gamely try to promote their husbands’ candidacies while they die inside by degrees! So if that’s the sort of thing that does it for you, you’ll want to stop by the First Lady’s Conference on Women at the Long Beach Convention Center. Elizabeth Edwards, Michelle Obama, Jeri Thompson, Cindy McCain, and Ann Romney will be showing as many of their teeth as humanly possible while wearing some kind of pantsuit that looks professional but still feminine but not frivolous or lesbian-style professional. (Though we hope that the proximity to Hollywood will cause Jeri to forget herself and don some kind of red carpet-appropriate cleavage showcaser.) Read more on BREAKING: Bill Clinton Turns Down Chance To Hang Out With Jeri Thompson…
 

WTF, Time?

You’ll love this special limited edition Franklin Mint commemorative plate of Bill Clinton and a bunch of his womens. Oh wait, those are … uh, they are apparently a few random spouses of people running for president. And Bill, right, because he’s still married to Hillary. Jesus fucking christ, TIME, this is the most insane news magazine cover ever. It’s not on the TIME website (yet) but the article is real and the Evangelicals For Mitt apparently believe it’s real — would they fake an incredibly banal Joe Klein skybox blurb and a thing about 50 Cent wanting to be an actor? Then again, the Evangelicals For Mitt also believes (like Jonah Goldberg) that faxing a document involves sending actual sheets of paper through phone lines. The Running Mates [TIME] Read more on WTF, Time?…
 

First Ladies Get Useless, Non-Circulating Coins

The US Mint, having already ensured that someday we will handle a dollar coin emblazoned with the face of Gerald Ford, is now giving in to whiny bleeding-heart types by putting all the Presidents’ wives on some coins. Half-ounce gold coins of no denomination that will not circulate. Fun fact: Read more on First Ladies Get Useless, Non-Circulating Coins…
 

Laurobics!

Hey, guys — you’re dropping the ball. You were all over Condicise, but nary a one of you thought to let us know that today, Barbara Harrison of NBC4 was gonna talk fitness with Laura Bush. Sure, Condi may be the more popular one, with her insane workout regimen and intense concentration, but we have a soft spot for Laura, because she seems a wonderful throwback to the Pat Nixon/Lady Bird Johnson tightly-wound unmoving haircut school of First Ladydom. Here, in a sharp contrast to Condi’s workout, we see that Laura just sort of walks around the White House: Read more on Laurobics!…