first amendment
US Army Does Not Understand Ted Nugent Is An American Hero, Says Ted Nugent
Just because America’s Greatest Rock-and-Roll-er, 63-year-old poontang sniffer ‘The Nuge,’ maybe sorta threatened the president (the other possible interpretation of his wang-dang NRA remarks is that the president would by next year illegally put him in jail for nothing, because of how he is Hitler and Castro combined) is no reason to cancel his show [...]
Arizona Lege Votes to Criminalize ‘Lewd, Offensive’ Electronic Speech, Or ‘Every Wonkette Comment Ever’
Good morning! Did you hear that? That was the Arizona legislature battering down your door, just for being you! What did you do this time? You were your usual profane, annoying, offensive, harrassing, terrifying Wonkette commenter self! Will Jan Brewer sign this inelegant and patently unconstitutional measure? Oh yeah, really no doubt about that. (You [...]
Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics
Crossover Day! Crossover Day! A day when every possible batshit mean curbjob-the-welfare-Cadillac-Queens bill simply MUST get passed in order to avoid NOobAma’s death panels. What delights does Newtonia have in store for us, as it gets all slick and sweaty trying to catch up to your Floridas and Mississippis and good ol’ AZ’s? Let’s round [...]
Founder Of Media Research Center Brent Bozell Has No Idea What First Amendment Does
L. Brent Bozell III, the erudite and thoughtful fuhrer of rightwing hacktanks like the Media Research Center, proved his bona fides for leading anything that conducts “research” into “media,” by evincing via Twitterz a complete and total non-understanding of the Constitutional basis for our cherished American Free Speech. Jawing hacking on behalf of (who else?) [...]
Rick Santorum Describes First Amendment As … French Guillotine?
What is loopy church lady Rick Santorum whining about now? As he goes crazier, in public, Santorum has stopped bothering with traditional approaches to speaking and now just tosses out “They” a couple of times, mentions religion and then throws in France, for weird measure — and he pronounces “France” as guillotine. It’s marvelous. But [...]
Boston Judge Rules Free Speech Doesn’t Count If Cops Need To Beat You
Judge Frances McIntyre lifted the restraining order preventing Boston Mayor Thomas Menino from gleefully sending in his minions to tear down the Occupy Boston encampment in Dewey Square, although the camp hasn’t yet been raided. Here’s the creepy stand-out line from the judge’s ruling: “Little in the way of expression is outlawed in the United [...]
‘Crucified Santa’ Holiday Display Goes Over As Well As You’d Expect
Is it Xmasween time already, kids? Not if the furious Christians of Loudoun County, Virginia have anything to say about it! A holiday display on the courthouse lawn featuring a crucified Santa skeleton was reduced to ruins thanks to a bilious outpouring of fury from the Jesus people, and more specifically because one enraged woman [...]
Important Newz Regarding First Amendment Rights And Truck Nutz
Our most critical free speech rights continue to hang in the balance today: “The highly anticipated jury trial for a woman ticketed for dangling Bulls Balls from the trailer hitch of her truck has been postponed, for a third time,” according to, yes, ABC News. AMERICA WEEPS BITTERLY, because justice is elusive. And yet it [...]
Here Are The Hilariously Shlocky Herman Cain Ads From 2004!
We are a little weary of reading the 999 million reports about Herman Cain’s futile efforts to get his dementia-laden storylines about those sexual harassment allegations to line up, so let us escape together briefly, for laffs, in our queer solar-powered time machines back to when Herman Cain was losing his other attempt at political [...]
Court Rules Teachers Still Allowed to Mention Creationism Is Ridiculous
In a stunning upset victory for common sense, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals threw out a lawsuit against a high school history teacher brought by one of his students who complained the teacher said in class that Creationism is “religious, superstitious nonsense.” In the Olden Daze this would have been the sort of moment [...]
Tennessee Law Bans Offensive Images Online, Entire Internet By Extension
The state of Tennessee is not very interested in their 9.6% unemployment rate, but legislators made time to write a law trying to force all the offensive people on the Internet to be nicer. Don’t they know that this is the entire reason people use the Internet, to insult one other? Gov. Bill Haslam signed [...]
Man Who Made Harmless Video Sentenced To 60 Days, Not Allowed Around Children
That guy who harmlessly made a YouTube video involving children? Obviously, he couldn’t actually be convicted of making child pornography, but that didn’t stop prosecutors from bullying him into pleading guilty and taking punishment for a crime that doesn’t exist: under a plea deal, Emory pled no contest to “unlawful posting of an Internet message [...]
Dreamer Lindsey Graham: ‘Free Speech Is a Great Idea, But We’re In a War’
Apparently last year’s Koran-burn-threatening pastor Terry Jones decided he wasn’t getting enough attention, so last week he actually did go through with burning itself. Normally a pastor saying hateful things who only has a half dozen or so followers would be ignored, but because we’ve been graced with a thing called the modern news media, [...]
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