Tag Archives: first amendment

  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  You Need Jesus In School. Where Else In Tennessee Would Kids Hear About Him?

‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding

Oh Christ, now I'm going to have to *watch* these...
Cry for the poor oppressed Christians of Grundy County, Tennessee, will you please, O Wonkers? Lo, they are sore afraid, and most put upon, for an HERETIC is amongst them, using arcane magicks (the Constitution of the United States) and consorting with Devilish Forces (the Freedom From Religion Foundation) to withhold from the public schools the Word Of God! Which is to say, some old evangelist fart calling himself “the Bible Man” won’t be allowed to hold taxpayer-funded revival meetings at the elementary schools anymore, because of some stupid thing about it being unconstitutional. Happily, it all worked out for the best because the good Christian townspeople have figured out the identity of the troublemaking atheist mom who complained to the FFRF, and they’ve been threatening her with violent retribution, seeing as how God Himself hasn’t gotten around to smiting the godless bitch yet. But they know that’s what He’d want. Read more on ‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding…
  Unfair!

Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans

Our thoughts exactly
BREAKING EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT TWITCHY! The liberal-biased interwebs are putting conservatives in Twitter jail, maybe (or maybe not) but probably (but probably not), just for being conservatives, OH NOES! Michelle Malkin, conservative keyboard-banging hero and founder of the the site with NINE PAID STAFFERS (or, ugh, maybe even more by now) who collect random tweets, mostly by Pat Sajak, and call it “the news wire of the 21st century,” is on to you, Twitter! Read more on Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans…
  First Amendment? What First Amendment?

Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)

Hey, that dude looks like Breitbart!
Happy Nice Time Update: See end of post! The Tennessee House voted Wednesday to name the Bible the official state book. But don’t worry, it’s not a violation of the First Amendment, because the people who wrote the bill said, nahh, it’s exactly like a state song or a state bird, and nobody complains that those violate the Constitution, do they? And then they turned right around and said that they had to make the Bible the state book to show that Tennessee loves Jesus a whole bunch. Read more on Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)…
  Sounds like somebody got her school nurse certificate online

Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services

You pledge allegiance to Flag Cat right now!
It is a well-established fact that any American, for any reason, can refuse to say the Pledge Of Allegiance, as an exercise of their First Amendment rights. Perhaps they find it creepy, or aren’t too keen on the religious part of it (which, contrary to popular conservative myth, was only added in 1954, and not by Jesus himself). Perhaps they HATE AMERICA, but probably not. This was established by the Supreme Court in 1943, in a case called West Virginia Board Of Education v. Barnette, so it’s not exactly breaking news. But some people seem to have been playing hooky from reading their 1943 SCOTUS decisions, because a school nurse at Wilson Middle School in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, decided to unleash on, and then refuse to treat, an eighth grade student who chose to exercise right to remain seated when the daily Pledge Time happened. Read more on Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services…
  Let's Get Some 'God With Us' Belt Buckles Too

Texas Rep. Finds Life’s Great Purpose: Forcing Air Force Cadets To Swear Oath To God

How airplanes actually fly
You know, kids, Ted Cruz isn’t the only Christian in Congress. He’s the only one running for president (in a field of one declared candidate), but there are also decent God-fearing Christians like Rep. Sam Johnson of Texas, who has introduced a bill that will make sure “so help me God” is a mandatory part of the official oath at the Air Force Academy. This is especially important since jet aircraft fly so much closer to God than our ground forces are, and we wouldn’t want Him swatting them out of the air, now would we? Read more on Texas Rep. Finds Life’s Great Purpose: Forcing Air Force Cadets To Swear Oath To God…
  Shiva Maniac Maniac On the Floor

Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake

We know who we like better
Left: Sheryl Nuxoll, Member, Idaho Senate (R-Cottonwood); Right: Ganesha, Hindu god of beginnings, wisdom (Party affiliation unknown) A couple weeks ago, there was quite the to-do in the Idaho Legislature when three state senators walked out on an invocation given by a Hindu clergyman (initial reports put the number at seven, but, it turns out three were just plain late showing up, while a fourth was also late, but was “disappointed” when he learned the prayer wasn’t Christian). Since then, one of the three, state Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll, has continued to make waves on the JesusWeb for comments she made following the walkout, calling Hinduism a “false faith with false gods” and refusing to apologize. Nuxoll’s brave resistance to the wave of Hinduism that’s apparently taking over the Gem State even drew notice from the American Family Association, which carried a story about her on its OneNewsNow site Monday: Read more on Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake…
  Have A Koch And A Smile

Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers

We built this!
The recent revelation that Wei-Hock Soon, one of the top “respectable” climate change deniers out there, gets most of his funding from the coal and oil industry has led Congressional Democrats to attempt to Follow The Money in the climate denial business. Well! Charles and David Koch will have you climate busybodies know that it is none of your damn business how they spend their money, which is a form of speech, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for even asking. Read more on Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers…
  OK Fine But No Irish Need Apply

Michigan School District Just Wants To Hire A Good Christian, Is That So Wrong?

You know He's humble because of the lowercase i's
Looks like the ACLU is out persecuting Christians again. When McBain Rural Agricultural Schools in Michigan advertised a job opening for superintendent, it included a simple, straightforward request for the kind of person who’d be practically perfect in every way for the job: The applicant should have such vital qualities, including at least five years’ experience as a principal or district leader, a Master’s degree, experience in collective bargaining, and, oh yes, “A strong Christian background and philosophy.” Read more on Michigan School District Just Wants To Hire A Good Christian, Is That So Wrong?…
  This Is Idaho Not Kali

Idaho Legislator Has A Cow About Hindu Invocation In State Senate

Vishnu? Not much. Vishnu with you?
Idaho state Sen. Steve Vick is all in favor of the First Amendment and freedom and stuff, but that doesn’t mean he has to sit and put up with it when a Hindu cleric gives the invocation at today’s session of the state Senate, which is why he plans on walking out on the pagan voodoo nonsense. Why yes, he is from the same northern Idaho county whose local Republican party floated a proposal to declare Idaho a Christian state last week. Why do you ask? Read more on Idaho Legislator Has A Cow About Hindu Invocation In State Senate…
  Numbers don't lie

SHOCKING New Poll Shows Majority Of GOP Total Idiots

At least he spells good
Brace yourselves for some stunning, shocking, jaw-dropping, too-amazing-to-believe-yet-totally-believable news! According to a new poll from PPP, the Republican Party is overflowing with morons. It’s true. In fact, it’s SCIENCE! Or MATH! Or some kind of liberal hoax thing! Read more on SHOCKING New Poll Shows Majority Of GOP Total Idiots…
  Know what else costs 30 pieces of silver? MY JESUS CAKES.

Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed

Just last week, Good Christian Bigot Barronelle Stutzman, the owner of Arlene’s Flowers, Inc., received some bad news when a Washington Superior Court judge told her that no, her “relationship with Jesus” was not a good excuse for discriminating against The Gay, in violation of the state’s Consumer Protection Act. Stutzman had begged the judge to pretty please make all the lawsuits against her go away because her refusal to provide flowers for a gay customer’s gay wedding whose gay money she’d happily been taking for nearly a decade was all just a “misunderstanding.” The judge agreed that yes, there was indeed a misunderstanding, by Stutzman, of how the law works. Read more on Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed…
  Another oppressor oppressed

Washington Judge To Florist: ‘Relationship With Jesus’ Not Good Reason For Being A Bigot

Flowers for gays available, just not gay weddings
Bad news for bigots. Again. On Wednesday, Washington State Superior Court Judge Alexander C. Ekstrom ruled that a “relationship with Jesus” is not a good enough excuse for a business owner to discriminate against The Gay, even if her Bible tells her so. Because Washington residents must answer to a higher authority: the law o’ the land. Read more on Washington Judge To Florist: ‘Relationship With Jesus’ Not Good Reason For Being A Bigot…
  What First Amendment?

Let’s Just Count All The States That Aren’t Trying To Make The Bible Their Official State Book

Time for another history lesson
Congratulations, Tennessee, you’re now on the distinguished list of states who need a quick refresher in How Does The First Amendment Work, No Really, How? You can thank your new state Rep. Jerry Sexton (R-No Surprise) for proposing legislation to make the Holy Bible “the official state book.” Gosh, why might that be a problem? Read more on Let’s Just Count All The States That Aren’t Trying To Make The Bible Their Official State Book…
  Rarely Is It Asked: Is Our State Legislators Learning?

SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?

He has a gun, let's vote for him!
South Carolina state Rep. Jonathon Hill is just an inquisitive guy who wants to be well-informed about state judicial candidates. That’s the only reason he sent a questionnaire just crawling with completely unconstitutional questions to candidates for judgeships. In South Carolina, judges are elected by state legislators, so Hill, a bright young conservative who is 29 years old, thought he’d look into some important questions to help him decide who belongs on the bench. Here are a few things he wanted to know: Read more on SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?…
  That pesky First Amendment

Florida School Board May Just Give Up On Distributing Bibles. Thanks, Satanic Temple!

Harder than you'd think!
You might recall how the Orange County School District in Florida was forced to delay — forever, apparently — its annual “Religious Freedom Day” when local evangelicals distribute Bibles and other religious materials to schoolchildren, because the Satanic Temple planned to join the fun and distribute a coloring book about Satanism. Read more on Florida School Board May Just Give Up On Distributing Bibles. Thanks, Satanic Temple!…
  Aroint Thee Witch

Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick

Oh bother, oh Baphomet.
The malign presence of Mitch Kahle, a confessed atheist witch-demon, has placed the Goodchristian town of Norton Shores, Michigan, in a Peril of losing its magick protections against evil. Kahle has already used his darck maege powers to beguile the smallbarons who do sitte upon the Ottawa County Board of Commissioners; And lo they did as he bade, purging the works of the Lord from the land. A blessed inscription of a Psalm at a publick parck is e’en now been rent asunder, and by some weirde alchemy, a towering crucifix that once stood proude on the commone Lande is become a scow’s anchor. Read more on Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick…
  An Act Of Face

Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect

America now officially over
Get ready for another round of whining about “creeping Sharia,” America. The Supreme Court has ruled that an Arkansas prisoner can grow a beard because he’s a Muslim. The justices said that inmate Gregory Holt could maintain a half-inch beard because Arkansas prison officials could not substantiate claims that the beard posed a security risk. Read more on Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect…
  And Lawyers Are Like Pipe Bombs Or Something

California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win

Don't mind me. Just sitting in. Hey, kids, want some loaves and fishes? I have extra
The school board of Chino, California, is being sued by the mean old Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) just because it likes to open its meetings with a few prayers to Jesus. Plus some proselytizing during board meetings, and, OK, offering Bible classes taught with materials from a church, too. Members of the board are pretty sure they’re just doing what George Washington and Jesus want, which is to make sue that God isn’t excluded from public life. At a meeting last week, during which the board voted to seek an attorney to volunteer to defend the case, one board member compared the lawsuit to the recent terrorist attacks in France, because of course the First Amendment is a lot like an automatic rifle. Read more on California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win…
  That's How The Baal Bounces

Satanic Temple’s Fun Coloring Book Ruins Bible Handout Day In Florida

Yes, the boy's name is Damien
Image from The Satanic Temple Rack up another First Amendment win for the Establishment Clause trolls at the Satanic Temple. The specter of children having access to a satanic-themed coloring book was simply too much for the Orange County School District in Florida, so it cancelled — or “indefinitely delayed” — a planned “Religious Freedom Day” distribution of Bibles and other religious literature, rather than allow the Satanic Temple to distribute its evil activity book. Read more on Satanic Temple’s Fun Coloring Book Ruins Bible Handout Day In Florida…
  He'll free speech you right in the face

Deadbeat Pro-Lifey Loser Ex-Congressjerk Joe Walsh Can’t Wait For Terrorists To Kill Everyone On TV

Joe Walsh (R-Actual Human Scumbag)
For a guy who loves Life and Freedom as much as he supposedly does, the former congressman and forever-scumbag Joe Walsh has a real neat Life-y and Freedom-y suggestion for the terrorists: Read more on Deadbeat Pro-Lifey Loser Ex-Congressjerk Joe Walsh Can’t Wait For Terrorists To Kill Everyone On TV…