first amendment
Atheists Accept Georgia Governor’s Kind Offer To Place Literature ‘From All Groups’ In State Campgrounds
It seems that someone in the Georgia Department of Natural Resources, which runs the state’s parks, decided that if Bibles are good enough for motel rooms, then sure, why not distribute them in the cabins in state parks, too? But then Ed Buckner, the former head of American Atheists, went camping and found a Bible [...]
Butthurt Christians Oppressed By Sports Thing That Never Happened
You know what’s outrageous? The way that Christians are constantly being oppressed in this country! Like for instance how a high school track team in Texas had its win taken away and was disqualified from going to the state championship, all because the winning runner in the 4X100 meter relay, Christian athlete Derrick Hayes, pointed [...]
Charming ‘Pro-Life’ Folks Remember Dr. Tiller By Threatening To Murder Everyone Working At Clinic
Remember how, back in 2009, the “pro life” movement was horrified when its constant harassment and threats toward abortion providers inspired an extremist to murder Dr. George Tiller, and how it rethought those strategies in the wake of the killing? Yeah, neither do we. Four years on, a new clinic is opening to provide abortion [...]
Leave Dave Agema Alone, Cries Lispy Homophobe Stalker Andrew Shirvell
Oh my God, you guys, those awful gays just refuse to stop bullying poor Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema just because he likes to repeat defamatory lies about gays, many of whom live in the magical far away place known as the “Flight Attendant Realm” where they have wild orgies, plot half the murders in [...]
North Carolina Patriots Simply Do Not Care For United States Constitution Tellin’ Them What To Do
Are you a Muslin, or a Jewish, or a Godless, or a witch? Then it is time for you to get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of North Carolina! Republicans there — including the House Majority Leader — have sponsored a bill saying that mean ol’ Constitution, despite a couple centuries’ worth of law and jurisprudence and [...]
Wonkette Bradlee Dean Photoshop Funtimes And Legal Letter Contest!
Hey, remember today? When we got that hilares letter informing us that we better, like, say sorry or something, and DEFINITELY take down all that libel-y stuff about one Mr. Herr Doktor Bradlee Dean? Well, some of you asked for a Photoshop contest, but we will do you one better! Since so many Wonkerados are [...]
First Amendment Hero Bradlee Dean Would Like To Give Your Wonkette Some Legal Fees
Serial SLAPPer Bradlee Dean has taken some time off from making high school girls cry, in order to retain a lawyer to threaten to sue your Wonket! Oh Lucy, what have we done now! Well, obviously we have “defamed” him — which seems to happen to the poor man so very often! — with a [...]
Texas Schools Implement Carefully Crafted Law By Teaching Bible As 100% Fact
So, back in 2007, the Texas legislature passed a law mandating that all public schools in the state include instruction on “the Hebrew Scriptures” and the New Testament and their impact on literature and history. Don’t worry, supporters of the law said, we aren’t going to be teaching religious doctrine, this law is all about [...]
Jack Welch: People Making Fun Of Me Is Worse Than A Siberian Gulag
What is up with conservatives and the First Amendment? For years now, all those people who love the Constitution so much they carry it around in the breast pockets of their bespoke suits have had this totally sane and logical notion that criticising someone for being an idiot is the same as taking away their [...]
University Of Wisconsin Profs: This Campus Is No Place For Speech
Today, Barack Obama spoke in front of 30,000 supporters at the University of Wisconsin, which is surprising, because a day full of cable news has informed us that everyone hates Barack Obama now after he didn’t straight pimp slap Mitt Romney last night. Anyway, three professors at UW are Republicans … oh, we mean, very [...]
Louisiana Thinks Funding School Run By ‘Apostle And Prophet’ Is Somehow Constitutional
Louisiana’s exciting experiment in public-school vouchers is steaming forward, providing parents and children with educational excellence and traditional values, hooray! But that’s not all! It’s also an excellent lesson in how the free market can improve education, by taking taxpayer funds from the wasteful public schools and handing it to efficient private schools run by [...]
Florida Governor Rick Scott Liberates Doctors From Burdens Of The First Amendment
We at Wonkette are not experts in Constitutional law or contemporary American jurisprudence, but it seems to us that the Amendments are supposed to be of equal importance and subjected to the same standards of inquiry. So we were surprised (but not really that surprised, actually, now that we think about it for a minute) [...]
Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery
Who could forget the magical year 1999? Bill Clinton proved that it was Constitutional for the president to get a blowjob from a lady to whom he was not married, the stock market was on a nonstop rocket ride to the moon thanks to the new-fangled Internet, and Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker was [...]
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