Tag Archives: financial crisis

  being boring

Let’s Applaud Elizabeth Warren And John McCain For Their Bank Bill Before Lobbyists Murder It To Death

In a valiant effort to undo one of the regulatory fuckups that led to the 2007-08 financial crisis, a bipartisan group of senators has introduced a bill that would reinstate some of the provisions of the New Deal-era Glass-Steagall Act, requiring banks to separate their retail banking functions from their riskier investment activities, essentially forcing most big banks to split into smaller entities. The bill is sponsored by Wonkette Permanent Nerdlust Object Elizabeth Warren, Washington Sen. Maria Cantwell, Sen. Angus King of Maine, and, in one of his mystifying periodic lurches toward responsible governing, by Sen. John McCain (R-Walnuts). Does the “21st Century Glass-Steagall Act” have a chance of becoming law? Hahaha, we actually asked that question out loud, didn’t we? Read more on Let’s Applaud Elizabeth Warren And John McCain For Their Bank Bill Before Lobbyists Murder It To Death…
  the torch & pitchfork outlet has been foreclosed too

Bank of America Whistleblowers Reveal Shocking Bank Wrongdoings, Surprise Surprise

Did you spend the past couple days so suspicious of the NSA that you had forgotten to set aside just a little bit of your suspicion for the banks? Don’t worry, we can fix that pretty quickly! Turns out Bank of America may have been foreclosing on homeowners who qualified for in-house loan modifications and the government-sponsored Home Affordable Modification Program because — get this! — it was more profitable to put the homeowners out on the street: Six former Bank of America Corp employees have alleged that the bank deliberately denied eligible home owners loan modifications and lied to them about the status of their mortgage payments and documents. The bank allegedly used these tactics to shepherd homeowners into foreclosure, as well as in-house loan modifications. Both yielded the bank more profits than the government-sponsored Home Affordable Modification Program, according to documents recently filed as part of a lawsuit in Massachusetts federal court. Read more on Bank of America Whistleblowers Reveal Shocking Bank Wrongdoings, Surprise Surprise…
  banksters

Bernie Sanders Will Pogrom Capitalism By Not Letting Banks Regulate Themselves

Hey remember when you lost your job and all your assets, or maybe took on tens of thousands dollars in school loans so you could pay for an education that would help you get a part-time job in retail? Remember that? That was fun, right? As you claw your way out of the hole created for you by this crisis, console yourself with the fact that the architects thereof sit on the boards of regulatory institutions charged with deciding if banks, say, get taxpayer dollars. There, don’t you feel better now? Read more on Bernie Sanders Will Pogrom Capitalism By Not Letting Banks Regulate Themselves…
  wonkette book chat

A Wonkette Interview With ‘Bailout’ Author Neil Barofsky, Part I

Welcome to your Monday Wonkette Interview Post! We were fortunate enough to speak with former Special Inspector General for TARP (SIGTARP!) Neil Barofsky over the telephone, whose new memoir Bailout, recounting his stint in Washington from late 2008 until early 2010, is flying off the shelves of bookstores like the dickens. The book’s theme is, “everything in Washington is completely screwed so let me terrify you with endless stories about this.” It’s the feel-good beach book of the summer! Your Wonkette got to meet Barofsky during our early summer jaunt to Netroots Nation, where he and a few other hardasses held an extraordinary panel on the foreclosure fraud crisis, and the general lack of justice for victims of bank malpractice over the past however many years. The panel was almost as unsparing in its criticisms as Bailout is in its — for both the Bush and Obama administrations. And revealing! The very first scene, see, shows former Merrill Lynch executive and TARP “czar” meeting Barofsky for drinks and telling him to back off his investigations, or the “tone” of them at least, if he ever wants to get another decent job for the rest of his life. Just like in the movies!… but very, very, very, very real. Read more on A Wonkette Interview With ‘Bailout’ Author Neil Barofsky, Part I…
  bad boys bad boys

Breaking: Goldman Sachs Did Not Break Any of Those Laws It Wrote

Good news, bankers! Our long national nightmare of no accountability and massive golden parachutes is behind us so let there be champagne, caviar, and get out of jail free cards for all because the entire financial crisis is forgiven and we can all go back to blaming Poors and Political Correctness for causing the housing crash and subsequent recession, or as we like to call it “the new normal.” This development, of course, is TOTALLY shocking and unexpected and no one saw this coming. Read more on Breaking: Goldman Sachs Did Not Break Any of Those Laws It Wrote…
  banksters

Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?

Remember a long, long time ago, WAY back, when the economy was ruined, possibly forever, along with life as we know it? Remember how this was all caused by a handful of banks but then this somehow got turned around and blamed on bunch of Poors? And then, remember how we gave them a bunch of money (the banks, not poor people) with absolutely no strings attached and just asked them nicely if they would pretty please not do anything bad again? And then, remember how the government implemented a couple tepid rules that the banks might get to rewrite, because they don’t like them? Think hard now, do you remember all of that? Because the banks remember, but it’s cool because they TOTALLY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL, you guys. No need to step in, these are the best and brightest, they know exactly what they’re doing, and they most definitely aren’t going to put up with these “anti-American” efforts to make sure that they have enough liquidity to cover their obligations to investors. Where do you think this is — France? Read more on Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?…
  demotions

Ken Lewis Thrown Halfway Under Bus

For many months now, people have been asking why Ken Lewis still had his job as chairman and CEO of Bank of America, and for many months the answer has been “Because,” but now we have a new answer: as of last night he is only the CEO, and who knows how much longer he’ll have that gig. Read more on Ken Lewis Thrown Halfway Under Bus…
  barack obama is basically chairman mao

Wives Of Wealthy Execs ‘Sacrifice’ By Recycling And Talking To Telemarketers

You look at this little article by an anonymous TARP wife about how she has had to scale back on “important gifts and other necessities,” and comparing the modern banking class’s plight to intellectuals in Maoist China, and you think, wow, good thing the author chose to remain anonymous. Greenwich and environs have not yet managed to scrub the stink off the lawns after the last rabble uprising. Read more on Wives Of Wealthy Execs ‘Sacrifice’ By Recycling And Talking To Telemarketers…
  we are doomed

Liveblogging Obama’s Latest Economy-Bummer Speech

Whoops you must keep an eye on this frisky new Preznet of ours, because every time you turn your back on him he’s sneaking off to deliver another speech on the economy. So we come to this one in medias res, because that makes it more exciting and suspenseful. Read more on Liveblogging Obama’s Latest Economy-Bummer Speech…
  our flourishing economy

LOOK AMERICA, WE GAVE CITIBANK A PROFIT! It’s sexytime on Wall Street today, and around the world! That’s right, a Global Stock Rally. Citigroup jumped a whole 30 percent and is now worth 1.3 shits. You know why? Because they announced that they’re having the best profit outlook for any quarter in years! HMM… we have a sinking suspicion that some fuddledeedum went into that balance sheet, but meh, everyone’s rich again. BUY A HOUSE. [Bloomberg] Read more on …
  citizen justice

Plebes Storm Castles Of Mortgage Fat Cats

Oh hey it’s that mob rule and class warfare we’ve been told so much about! A SEETHING MOB of, uh, peaceful protesters who were not arrested by police visited the homes of two “financial predators” over the weekend. Financial predators are like sexual predators, only without the sex perversions. Instead, they like to lure youngsters into the backs of windowless white vans and force them to sign zero-percent down no-interest ARMs with a $400,000 balloon payment after five years. Read more on Plebes Storm Castles Of Mortgage Fat Cats…
  us in two years tops

Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up

We last heard of “Iceland” in the fall during those first exciting weeks of the Global Great Depression, when our proudly “interconnected” global economy did what it ultimately was designed to do: self-implode all at once. Since most/all of Iceland’s prosperity in the last decade was derived from a burgeoning financial sector, all of its banks immediately defaulted and were nationalized; the government raised interests rates to 18% or so to secure a do-or-die loan from the evil IMF, leading other European countries to call them losers and de-friend them, and voila: welcome to the THIRD WORLD, Iceland! Hope you remembered to pack a lunch! This was the backdrop for this week’s developments, in which every government official got cancer and resigned, and then the government *itself* resigned, and now they’re just going to let some lesbian run everything. Read more on Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up…
  the big reveal

Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Big Unveiling Of Money Peoples

Barack Obama will have so many advisors telling him how to spend the nation’s billions! Let’s see, we’ve got this Geithner guy who financial types seem to like, and also the communist Larry Summers … who else? To answer these pressing questions, Obama will hold another press conference and respond to complicated financial inquiries with “I will buy you all a new puppy.” Stick with us! His magical press conference is due to commence at the top of the hour. Read more on Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Big Unveiling Of Money Peoples…
  who shall control our moneys?

All These Leaks And Still No Treasury Secretary

Here is something weird, and thank you, First Read, for pointing this out recently: the press has already found out the identity of like half of the future Obama cabinet. And yet we have no idea who’s being vetted to fill one of the most important positions of all — Treasury Secretary. What is up with that HMMM? Will it be the kindly ancient giant Paul Volcker? The stouthearted Kansan Republican Sheila Bair? The repellent NAFTA whore Larry Summers? Nobody knows — or at least, nobody’s telling! Our prediction: Ron Paul, who will unleash a “money bomb” on the United States economy in February of 2009 and then sell us to the nation of Galt’s Gulch for 50 Ameros. [Washington Post] Read more on All These Leaks And Still No Treasury Secretary…
  new money bonfire proposals

Auto Industry Bailout Is Annoying On All Levels

A thing that sucks about our nation’s current financial unpleasantness is that Congress wants to find solutions to it and Congress happens to suck. Other people who suck in this situation include Hank Paulson and “President” George Bush Jr. Barack Obama, too, for throwing himself into this situation that can only end in a sucky outcome. And lest we forget, the American auto industry — known by its appropriately sucky metonym, “Detroit” — sucks. So. Do we give car companies money for sucking or do we let a ton of workers in depressed areas lose their jobs and family health care plans? Oh, the wacky situations America finds itself in after ignoring massive problems for decades. Read more on Auto Industry Bailout Is Annoying On All Levels…
  great money bonfire of 2008

Hank Paulson Gives Up Buying Toxic Assets, Will Now Give Money To, Who Knows, Rats?

Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson announced a major shift today in the Troubled Asset Release Program (TARP!) — or, as the kids call it, “n00bama bailout $ocialism” — and we do not necessarily know to what the shift is. We know from what Hanky is shifting away, though, and that is the plan to buy toxic mortgage-related assets from financial institutions so as to loosen credit and save America. You may recall this instrument Hank is now abandoning: it was the whole point of the bailout, the thing Hank and his chum Ben Bernanke DEMANDED Congress pass within 20 minutes or the child would die. Read more on Hank Paulson Gives Up Buying Toxic Assets, Will Now Give Money To, Who Knows, Rats?…