By the Comics Curmudgeon

Last week your Comics Curmudgeon tackled two very important tropes in the world of political cartooning: pooping and huge boners. “Ha ha,” you say, “surely it can’t get any worse pooping and huge boners!” Well, just as attempted teenage furry statutory rape was soon topped by actually implemented furry dog rape, so too you will come to look back warmly at the innocent time known as “last Friday,” when the worst you encountered was Kim Jong-Il’s enormous missile-dingus. That’s because this week you will be confronted by creepy, fetishistic depictions of vomiting, and “tickle play.” Forewarned is forearmed! MORE »

You anti-American homosexual Muslim book-skimming ACORNs have taken YET ANOTHER perfectly good & respectable website — this one designed to thank George W. Bush for the various wars and contracting economies — and ruined it with your filthy jokes about butts and poop. The site’s webmaster is now having to scrub your PUERILE CRAP petition signatures at a breakneck pace leaving him/her no time for SELF-PLEASURE. Let’s check out some of these toilet-humor “names” from you people who only want John Kerry to run the country and nothing else will do. MORE »

The most widespread form of “life” in Washington is the common Norway Rat, which completely owns the miserable District. Like most stunned bumpkins forced by bad luck or weird morals to the nation’s foul capital, the new editor of Reason magazine is horrified to find that dog-sized vermin live in every home, even the White House. MORE »

As everybody knows, the hedonists in New York frequently find themselves at the mercy of horrible little animals called “bedbugs” who are attracted to the stench of moral impurity. And recently, a swarm of these bloodsucking parasites overtook the Fox News offices in Midtown Manhattan! Yes, ha ha, it took a little while for employees to figure out the latest foul insect pest wasn’t just Hannity’s weekend replacement. Now we hear rumors that the source of the infestation has been identified and FIRED. MORE »

Hillary Clinton’s staffers have been soiling carpets and leaving mountains of rotting garbage in rented temporary campaign offices — and then not paying the bill when they skip town to move on to the next primary state. MORE »

When the Soviets built the Moscow subway, they made the stations into temples of public luxury so that every citizen could feel proud of the capital and the communist system. When the DC Metro was built, somebody thought it would be super classy to put carpet in the subway cars — thankfully, the “mirrors on the ceiling” idea was not approved. MORE »

The secretary of the Army got tossed out just now, for losing the war in Iraq not keeping the hospital clean enough, because that’s apparently what the secretary of the Army is supposed to do for this administration. MORE »

* 2 Amy’s may become two story, with an adults-only second floor! [metrocurean]
* “It’s usually liberals calling for broad mandates and conservatives urging local control. But in this case, it’s Democratic Mayor Bill Euille asking for his community to be able to make its own decision, while Republicans in the General Assembly bitterly refuse to give up power and hang on to the statewide ban on smoking bans.” [The Green Miles]
* “This is what I love about the bloggers,” says Laura Sessions Stepp. [why.i.hate.dc]
* Commander of the Army’s Walter Reed Medical Center fired. [A Silent Cacophony]
* “Jesus Christ, even Richard Daley didn’t have a police chief who publicly said that she’d defer to him as to whether or not laws were enforced.” [The DC Universe]

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