Tag Archives: filibusters

  modern jeremiahs

Nebraska Sen. Goes On Amazing Hours-Long Filibuster, Calls Out Fellow Pols’ Crimes By Name, With Wrath Of God And Black Jesus

kotanow.com, KDUH, Scottsbluff, News, Weather and Sports First of all, there is a black legislator from Nebraska. Second of all, he spent yesterday going Wrath of God on his fellow leggies, whether Dem or Republican, and specifically called them out (by name) for their gambling and fornicating and homosexing. Third of all, he told them all to shut up because Black Jesus. And fourth of all, the guy whose bill he was filibustering at the time — which would have allowed nonprofits to contract with prison work camps and which actually sounds okay, if you are all right ethically with the concept of prison work camps in general — had a rilllly good comeback, and that comeback was that looks like SOMEBODY’S not going to Heaven because he doesn’t have a proper relationship with our lord and savior Jesus Christ! (We guess he wasn’t listening during the Black Jesus part.) And that, United States Senate, is how you do a filibuster! Read more on Nebraska Sen. Goes On Amazing Hours-Long Filibuster, Calls Out Fellow Pols’ Crimes By Name, With Wrath Of God And Black Jesus…
  america es broked

Loyal Opposition Mitch McConnell Now Filibustering His Own Bills, For Comity, And Freedom

Frankly, we are surprised it took this long — three years and ten and a half or so months into Barack Obama’s Purple Reign — for Senate Minority Leader and King of All He Surveys Mitch McConnell to become so demented that he is now forced to filibuster his own bills. This man, he is just not very good at his job, right? How ever has he managed to last this long opposite streetcorner brawler Harry Reid? Read more on Loyal Opposition Mitch McConnell Now Filibustering His Own Bills, For Comity, And Freedom…
  we'll wait for the movie version

Harry Reid Blows Up Time And Space With Voting Procedure Change Thing

Here are some of the news story quotes we woke up to this morning, GAH: ancient tribal casino chieftain Harry Reid “pulled the nuclear option” trick in the Senate and as a result the entire chamber is now “in chaos,” (because it is enveloped in a giant ball of radioactive flames) and the Republicans are littered across the Senate floor in tiny, rapidly mutating shards because they “did not expect Reid to bring heavy artillery to what had been a humdrum knife fight.” SO MUCH VIOLENCE, COMRADE REID! Ha, no, all Harry Reid did was change a procedural voting rule to prevent Republicans from introducing endless non-germane amendments to a Chinese currency-related bill after the Senate voted to defeat a filibuster (zzzzz), but let the record show that news of Harry Reid “doing something, anything” other than whining about Republicans must now be written about as TOTAL WAR. Read more on Harry Reid Blows Up Time And Space With Voting Procedure Change Thing…
  festivus grievances

Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time

Bernie Sanders is currently filibustering on the floor of the Senate because he doesn’t like the Obama-Republican tax cut plan. He’s been at it since 10:25 am, according to a C-SPAN graphic, and he will soon be jumping in and out of wormholes so his voice can be heard everywhere and through all of time. Right now he is talking about educating children on Amtrak trains or something. We missed the part where he said, “My arthritis proves Obama is morally weak.” [C-SPAN] Read more on Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time…
  orifices over there

Heterosexuality Safe For Now As Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Filibuster Succeeds

THE SYSTEM WORKS! America can sleep soundly tonight knowing that our nation’s servicemen do not want to have sex with each other — at least not for a few more months. The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repeal bill before the Senate failed its cloture vote this afternoon 56-43. Mark Pryor and Blanche Lincoln voted against cloture, because Blanche Lincoln wants to her children to remember that she stood against equality just before being soundly defeated in her final bid for re-election. And congratulations to John McCain, who thought he lost the presidency to Barack Obama! Sure, he lost the presidency of the United States, but now John McCain is officially President of Gay Troops John McCain, even though Obama may soon take that job too. Read more on Heterosexuality Safe For Now As Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Filibuster Succeeds…
  exciting summer political news

Filibuster Reform Not Going To Be Able To Overcome a Filibuster

Democrats fought hard in 2005 to prevent the Republican majority from using the “nuclear option” to overcome their filibusters, and a mysterious drug gang, the “Gang of 14,” or the “Jets,” as they are also known, came together to keep the weird parliamentary tactic in place. The GOP has responded, since leaving power, by filibustering just about anything and bear-baiting the Democrats into joining a rival Puerto Rican gang that hates the filibuster, which would make them get stabbed with charges of hypocrisy, and also an angry teenager’s knife. Like with just about any legislation, though, the Democrats can’t come up with enough votes on filibuster reform to overcome a filibuster. But there may be ANOTHER OPTION. Read more on Filibuster Reform Not Going To Be Able To Overcome a Filibuster…
  the world's greatest deliberative body

WEDNESDAY… WAR! Democrats May Possibly Consider Making GOP Actually Filibuster, Overnight

Roll in the cots, break out the pissin’ jugs, and refrigerate your “second dinner” of cold cuts and potato salad! For the Democrats are considering keeping the Senate in session all night, or at least until the mean old Republicans stop yapping about socialism, or at least agree to open debate on “FinReg,” which they have refused to do one million times already this week. Yes, John McCain, you can wear your jammies. Read more on WEDNESDAY… WAR! Democrats May Possibly Consider Making GOP Actually Filibuster, Overnight…
 

Harry Reid Says A Filibuster Is Like Stabbing

Our nation’s beloved Senate Majority leader compared Republican filibusters to stabbing today, saying that it didn’t matter if you got stabbed/filibustered 65 or 72 times, the point is that either thing is bad. Just go to any DC area hospital and look at the emergency rooms, full of filibuster victims! Stop this violent legislating, America. [The Crypt’s Blog] Read more on Harry Reid Says A Filibuster Is Like Stabbing…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Everyone But Security Council Members Flat Broke

CBS News reports, “George Bush spends 58% of US Budget on Whiskey and some Bling for his hommies.” [CBS News] Proving that August has been “racism month” in politics for decades, it was this day in 1957 that Strom Thurmond ended his 24 hour filibuster of the civil rights bill. [This Day In Mythstory] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Everyone But Security Council Members Flat Broke…
 

Daily Briefing: Something to Tout

* Republicans in Congress settle on $70B tax-cut package as proposal for $100 gas vouchers withers; Bush “implored lawmakers to deliver an agreement he could tout.” [WP, WP, NYT] * Immigration rallies apparently made little influence on Congress. [NYT] * Democrats aim to pick up House seats in the Northeast. [NYT] * Bush may have sung a Spanish version of the national anthem at a campaign event. [WP] * House votes on lobbying reform today. [USAT] * Administration is testing “antisatellite weapons.” [NYT] * Democrats threaten to filibuster one, maybe two, conservative judicial nominations. [WP] * Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) is on a one-man mission to eliminate earmarks from the emergency spending bill. [WP] * The Supreme Court under John Roberts has become more contemplative and patient. [NYT] * Blogosphere bloviates about Stephen Colbert‘s performance. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Something to Tout…