America can no longer afford non-fiction, it seems, so there is a huge bump in fiction book tour traffic to Washington this week. Still, watch out, there’s something that includes the word “twilight” which is an immediate red flag, and another thing about how America is sad because it can’t “dominate other nations” like it used to, in college. MORE »

Everyone should thank CNN today for thoroughly debunking the “rumor” that Barack Obama is the Antichrist (seriously, this is somehow classified as a “rumor,” that Obama may have magical powers). The big headline, “OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST?” along with the subhed claiming that this is a real “debate” online and thousands of other images of ANTICHRIST ANTICHRIST EVIL SATAN were very necessary for the viewers watching said debunking. Raw Story has the video. Oh and let’s thank CNN for covering this same thing yesterday, too. [Raw Story]

Hey Wonkette readers, are some of you “into” actual books? Here is your chance to win one, for free: a galley copy of Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife, which tackles the difficult question of why a tasteful librarian with all the apparent trappings of a human soul would end up married to a snickering idiot jock who likes bombing things. Just write to tips@wonkette.com by noon o’clock Eastern on Wednesday with the subject line MY FAVORITE FIRST LADY IS NOT THAT STRUMPET ABIGAIL FILLMORE and tell us, in 25 words or less, who your favorite first lady is. The ten lucky winners will be announced Friday. More rulez ‘n stuff after the jump. MORE »

Once upon a time, Curtis Sittenfeld wrote a funny thing for Salon about her terrible case of Nell Freudenberger envy. Then she wrote two best-selling novels and now she has another novel coming out in September: a piece of RACY SPECULATIVE FICTION that is totally obviously about Laura Bush! If Wonkette had a Book Club for Fancy Ladies and Gentlemen, this might be an inaugural selection. Lesbians, abortions, and sexy sex quotations via Radar after the jump. MORE »

Ever since the Virginia Tech shootings, college teachers have been extra vigilant about expelling creative writing students who write typical teenage loser stories about suicide and alienation. At the very least, instructors face increasing pressure to notify parents, administrators, and health officials that these lamebots with their dark gothic tales will probably not get laid until they are released from mental institutions at age 30. MORE »

Google’s home page has this little “How to of the Day” feature with links to WikiHow, “The How-To Manual That Anyone Can Write or Edit.” MORE »

Sure, “A Charge To Keep” or “I Am the Most Awesome Obama” are very good books, but they’re not pure fiction like Newt Gingrich’s Nazi porn and Scooter Libby’s “make the bear fuck the the little girl” artistry. MORE »

And then there was Lincoln Chafee, The Reluctant Senator. From today’s Wall Street Journal:

In many ways, Mr. Chafee’s struggle is of his own making. Besides opposing the war, he voted against some Bush tax cuts, citing deficit concerns. He opposed Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s appointment because he was convinced the jurist would be hostile to abortion rights. And he let it be known that he didn’t vote to re-elect the president, writing in former President George H. W. Bush instead.

“I knew this was coming from way back,” says Mr. Chafee, at an outdoor festival in Cumberland. “The president’s agenda, for better or worse, motivates the party base. I’ve been hearing from them for the last five years.”

To stem the damage, Mr. Chafee has been a regular at Republican spaghetti dinners and diner breakfasts. Even so, he isn’t “overly optimistic” that he has persuaded many of them, he says.

Chafee is perhaps the senator least suited for Washington life since Eugene McCarthy skipped roll call votes to write poetry in his office. This from the New York Times last week:

Compared with many colleagues in the Senate, Mr. Chafee, 53, keeps a low profile, and campaigning does not seem second nature to him. Stopping to buy lemonade from a truck, he asks the attendant about the book she is reading. Only after tipping her and turning away does he toss over his shoulder, “Vote Chafee!”

Wonkette proudly presents the first installment of The Secret Lives Of Senators: Lincoln Chafee On The Campaign Trail. Read it after the jump:

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