In lieu of a Derp Roundup this week, we bring you a special weekend edition of Dear Shitferbrains, leading off with this very important observation from “bmmg39″ in response to our Clipbait piece about Sarah Palin’s appearance in a sketch on The Tonight Show. We’d said that it wasn’t terrible, that she had one good […]

March is Women’s History Month, so Jon Stewart celebrates (and tapes an episode in advance without referencing today’s news) with this special feature on women’s equality, and why there’s too much of it, as articulated by Susan Patton, the lady who advised college women to snare a man while they’re still dewy-eyed, fresh, and adorable. […]

Sometimes we worry that we’re turning into old weird Camille Paglia. “YOU ARE CRIMINALIZING THE MALE ESSENCE!!!!1!” we shriek when girls go, “he whistled at me, I am malegazeraped, waah.” So it is good to know we are not turning into Camille Paglia, since she is now sexplaining why sex ed should be more prude. What […]

There’s this useful phrase, “Not even wrong,” used to indicate an argument that so completely and sloppily misses the point being discussed that it can’t even be assessed as an argument — for instance, a creationist who asks if evolution is real, why don’t we see dogs giving birth to leopards, huh? Not only is […]

We are still having sads that Nelson Mandela, who was a far better human being than all of us combined times 12, died on Thursday. He was a genuine, good-hearted badass who pissed off all the right people. Ronald Reagan? Check. Dick Cheney? Check. Jesse Helms? Check. And he was also a genuine, good-hearted feminist […]

Michelle Obama, you are UNDER ARREST on the charges of being a BAD FEMINIST! You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will lead you to be fucked if you do and fucked if you don’t. You have the right to an attorney, if you can even find one, since all the attorneys […]

Happy Blowvember, everyone! Yet another rightwing “pro family” leader has  resigned after an extramarital affair; this time around, it’s Douglas Phillips, former president of “Vision Forum Ministries.” In a seriously icky resignation statement, Phillips writes There has been serious sin in my life for which God has graciously brought me to repentance. I have confessed […]

The nutballs at the Family Research Council are worried about the feminazi socialist revolution that might result if early childhood education is expanded, because they know that the real goal is not to prepare children for school, but actually to get the Government’s hooks in their tender minds and destroy the family. Again.

Hey, ladies, have you been wondering how you can be better at vacuuming for Jesus and popping out a quiverfull of babies like Reality TV star Michelle Duggar? Then you will NOT want to miss this exciting opportunity to attend The Art of Homemaking Conference — stop laughing, we’re serious, this is a real thing! […]

Who is the best feminist ever? Why, it is Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (R-Of course), who would like to be Republican gubernatorial nominee to lose to Wendy Davis, once Rick Perry oopses his way out of office. And boy — sorry, girl — does he have a real good reason. It is because he […]

Eric Owens has what may be the easiest job at Tucker Carlson’s Home for the Chronically Angry — he’s the “Education Editor.” So basically, his job is to find news items about teachers who say dumb things, professors who hurt conservative students’ delicate sensibilities, and, his favorite topic, the “national epidemic of schoolteachers having sex […]

Here’s one way to generate some content on a slow news day. Mark Judge, author of A Tremor of Bliss (ick!), has a thing at Tuckerson Carlicue’s House of Words ‘n’ Boobs titled “Barack Obama: the first female president.” And then he explains that he’s come to this conclusion honestly: And no, it’s not because […]

The Washington Post’s Richard Cohen returns to the scene of the crime*. Becoming the first female president is a worthy goal, but it kind of falls into the category of miles traveled and countries visited. It is an achievement, even a stunning one, but it is not a stirring trumpet call. Even now, her statistics-laden […]

Uh oh, you guys. A blogger has found out some REAL BAD SHIT about your precious “heroine” Wendy Davis. You are going to need to sit down when you realize what a terrible, evil faker the Texas state senator is. Fetch a cold compress, y’all, because we are sorry to have to tell you this, […]

Hello Americans! Focus on the Family founder James Dobson would like you to know that, despite an advanced state of fossilization, he has not “retired to a quiet farm somewhere,” and is still just as much a patriarchal asshat as ever! In a rambling Mother’s Day message, Dobson takes some comfort that, in the midst […]