FEMAil: Guessing Game
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
We spent a bit of time trawling through Michael Brown’s email for that definitive piece of evidence that would exonerate him (it was the one-armed man who didn’t rescue those couple hundred black people, seriously!), but we never found anything this good.
CNN is hedging their bets re. its authenticity, but it supposedly comes from a “good friend” of Brown’s and the President’s (right, right). Assuming it’s real, we’d be happy to hear your guesses as to the sender’s identity. But that’s a pretty big assumption, considering that all we have to go on is a very clean-looking and conveniently redacted .pdf. Wait, look, we found another email!
It’s got a big Situation Room stamp on it! It has to be authentic! Wolf Blitzer’s personal seal of approval — look for it on all your sensitive and politically damning correspondence. MORE »
We spent a bit of time trawling through Michael Brown’s email for that definitive piece of evidence that would exonerate him (it was the one-armed man who didn’t rescue those couple hundred black people, seriously!), but we never found anything this good.
CNN is hedging their bets re. its authenticity, but it supposedly comes from a “good friend” of Brown’s and the President’s (right, right). Assuming it’s real, we’d be happy to hear your guesses as to the sender’s identity. But that’s a pretty big assumption, considering that all we have to go on is a very clean-looking and conveniently redacted .pdf. Wait, look, we found another email!
It’s got a big Situation Room stamp on it! It has to be authentic! Wolf Blitzer’s personal seal of approval — look for it on all your sensitive and politically damning correspondence. MORE »
Worst part of this email: It’s always annoying when Americans adopt pretentious Britishisms. Also: we are extremely curious about the redacted portion. We’re guessing it says “Feel free to fuck up royally…”
THE BLONDES WERE AGAINST HIM FROM DAY ONE. ALERT GE. 
Today’s forceful renunciation of prejudice brought to you by Sonic. Sonic — America’s Drive-Thru! 
The fan mail is generally funnier than the hate mail. We wish this writer had gone on CNN to give those bitches (presumably a veiled Anderson Cooper reference) what-for.
