Tag Archives: fema camps

  Show us on the doll where Obama touched Lady Liberty

Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse

Are your kids safer with Josh Duggar or with THIS GUY?
Pollsters are hilarious sometimes. Talking Points Memo has the results of a new poll from Public Policy Polling, asking people which do they like better:  The Duggar family, kid-touching and all, or Barack Obama? You will be so shocked to find out that a full 67% of folks who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012 still like the Duggars better than Obama, whereas 87% of Obama voters think Obama is better than kid-touchers and the people who cover for them. THERE’S YOUR PARTISAN DIVIDE, AMERICA. Read more on Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse…
  Dun fell off the wagon

Nine Things President Obama Might Be Holding Besides This Dirty Pack Of Cigarettes

Bad president bad!
OH NO, President Obama is back behind the high school gym again, smoking all the cigarettes and rolling his eyes, maybe and allegedly! Cigarettes are a well-known slippery slope to getting potted up on weed and socializing America. Obama was caught on camera chattin’ up Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi at the G7 Summit in Germany, and he certainly appears to be holding a pack of cigarettes, doing that gesture where he’s flipping open a pack to pull one out and light up. But is he really doing that? Hard to tell! Because yr Wonkette likes to think the best of people and doesn’t like to jump to conclusions, what else might he be holding in his nicotine-stained hands? Read more on Nine Things President Obama Might Be Holding Besides This Dirty Pack Of Cigarettes…
  OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE

Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns

Twitter profile pic strategically placed to hide chemtrails in sky behind her.
Conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Alex Jones always has his finger on the prostate of The Real Story that everybody’s missing, if people could only OPEN THEIR EYES! Lately, Jones has been working to reassure Texans that no, Walmart is not building secret tunnels so the Chinese can come in and kill everybody, because that distracts from the REAL STORY, which is FEMA camps and martial law, or something along those lines. But he took a break on his show Tuesday, to rant and rave about all YOU SHEEPLE, spending your entire day transfixed by Caitlyn Jenner’s sex boobies, when Barack Obama is clearly in your house right now, prying your guns out of your cold, distracted hands. Read more on Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns…
  Terror Alert Level Remains At 'Pantsload'

Pentagon Says There’s No Plot To Invade Texas. But It Would, Wouldn’t It?

It is TOTALLY a conpisracy
In a move that was as touchingly optimistic as it was futile, the Pentagon attempted to reassure nervous Texans that an upcoming training exercise is definitely not a secret plan to declare martial law, impose UN control over the Alamo, or steal Texans’ magic bags of juju. The planned exercise for special operations troops, called Jade Helm 15, got online conspiracy theorists so overheated about the imminent end of Freedom and Liberty that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott last week ordered the Texas State Guard to keep an eye on the federals just to make sure they won’t get up to any funny stuff. And now that the Department of Defense has dismissed the conspiracy claims as “wild speculation,” you can pretty much bet that the more excitable elements of the interwebs will calm down and go back to worrying about real threats, like chemtrails and ISIS infiltration of Texas delis. Read more on Pentagon Says There’s No Plot To Invade Texas. But It Would, Wouldn’t It?…
  Stop laughing these idiots are really scared LOL

Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans

If you don't believe them, you've probably already been brainwashed.
If you are a fear-addled conspiracy theory-loving wingnut reading this, you already KNOW what we are about to say. Terrible demonic false flag Indo-Kenyan “President” Barack Obama is preparing AT THIS VERY MOMENT to impose martial law on Texas, which will probably be enforced by ISIS, who is currently hiding behind some brush just over yonder, on the Mexican banks of the Rio Grande. Shit yer pants and oil yer guns, y’all, it’s time for a revolution! Read more on Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans…
  Right-wing humor is as good as it's always been

Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line

Good thing they didn't send their emails to Strongbad, he would have gotten SO MAD.
If former court clerk Mary Ann Twitty, of Ferguson, Missouri, had been paying any attention to Hillary Clinton’s lessons, she might still have a job right now. Same goes for Rick Henke and William Mudd, who used to be police captain and police sergeant, respectively. Instead, it never occurred to them that “hey we send each other racist haw haw jokes all the time, maybe we should delete them, or maybe do this over Snapchat,” and they were relieved of their jobs in March. Well, now we actually get to see the emails! Were they talking about how much they wanted to lynch slaves or how Barack Obama should go back and live with the monkeys in Africa? Less of the former, more of the latter. Read more on Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line…
  he seems nice

Michigan Republican Definitely Not Responsible For Saying We Should Fence Detroit, Round Up The Indians

Say you are a mean old Republican (but we repeat ourselves) who loves to say sparkling things about Detroit and how you will get carjacked there, and also funny quips about FEMA camping all the Indians and giving them smallpox. Oh you wit! You slay you! But then say someone quotes you saying those things! How is that even fair? It is not, obviously, and that is why we know who is to blame for Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson saying, “I made a prediction a long time ago, and it’s come to pass. I said, ‘What we’re gonna do is turn Detroit into an Indian reservation, where we herd all the Indians into the city, build a fence around it, and then throw in the blankets and the corn.’” The person to blame, OBVIOUSLY, is … The New Yorker, for quoting him! Read more on Michigan Republican Definitely Not Responsible For Saying We Should Fence Detroit, Round Up The Indians…
  Doktor Prepper

In Case You Were Wondering, We Think This Survivalist Ad Is Crap, Too

Every now and again Your Wonkette gets stuck with ads that are, shall we say, at a bit of a variance from Our Stated Principles (whatever they might be any given week). And since one of our stated principles is “Paying the bloggers is a good idea,” we’re happy to take money from just about any advertiser that isn’t the NRA or something equally loathsome. If You The Thoughtful Wonker should see an ad you find objectionable, click it to get the URL and email Your Editrix, who will yell at the ad company and try to get rid of it. But we’ll still have stupid ads sometimes, which we reserve the right to make fun of, like that “where to hide your guns when Obama comes for them” thing that Rich had fun with.* So since the government is almost certainly going to collapse any day now, let’s look at another stupid survivalist ad, so you won’t have to click on it. Read more on In Case You Were Wondering, We Think This Survivalist Ad Is Crap, Too…
  forward comrades

Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Barack Obama’s Brave New World Will Not Have Applebees, Vinyl Siding

The most important thing to know about the FEMA Camps, where we will be soon living now that Barack HUSSEIN Obama secured his second term by giving gifts to browns and poors and slutty youngs, is density. The image of FEMA Camps as these desolate concentration camps is actually wrong. In reality, these encampments will be Agenda 21-compliant model cities. You and your family will have your own dwelling, but it will be small. Think of the average-size McMansion that all job creators strive for. Now, imagine the space where, back when this was a free country, that McMansion would have had a “great room.” That is where another family’s house will be. The second floor will be, instead of bedrooms and a master bath, homes for like six more families. Instead of spreading out these homes over a completely illogical series of cul-de-sacs, as the market demands, they will be arranged on a centrally-planned grid. Read more on Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Barack Obama’s Brave New World Will Not Have Applebees, Vinyl Siding…
  get your sharia marxism here!

Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Obama’s Second Term Will Destroy American Values, Be Amazing

You’ve heard right-wing pundits warn you about Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s plan to fundamentally change America as we know it. The secret Muslim/radical Marxist/probably gay Obama dreams of the day when he could force all decent, God-fearing Christian Americans (i.e. the whites) into gay marriages to radical Marxist-Muslims, they said. He acts all hope and changey now, but wait until he gets that second term and then it will be FEMA camps and forced veganism. Well, it’s all true. All of it. Gloriously true! Read more on Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Obama’s Second Term Will Destroy American Values, Be Amazing…
  that's not change we can believe in

History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Politicizes Beer, Refuses To Buy One For Guy Holding A Romney Sign

Hey, Barack NoBAma, were you at the Iowa State Fair yesterday, cold buyin’ beers for the first 10 people to swear loyalty oaths to you for the privilege of quaffing sweet, cold Bud? When asked if he was buying, Obama said, “Let me see what’s in my wallet.” As the crowd cheered “Four more beers!” the president relented. “I’ll tell you what, except for Romney sign, I’ll buy beers for ten people,” he said. Barack Obama basically put that man in a FEMA camp. Why does he hate civility? Read more on History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Politicizes Beer, Refuses To Buy One For Guy Holding A Romney Sign…
  unnatural disasters

Hero Florida GOP Rep Lady Ruins All Barack Obama’s Martial Law Fun

Florida GOP Rep. Sandy Adams heard a thing on the Internet, and she will fight it with her very last breath! Is it that thing on the Internet about Girl Scouts = abortion? No it is not that one. Is it the one about Michelle Obama sexing up her unnamed Secret Service agent? No, that is not against the law yet! Is it this sad, dated thing about Barack Hussein NOBAMA declaring martial law? Yes, it is that one, and Sandy Adams — with an assist from Man of the Hour Allen West! — is here to do something about it! Read more on Hero Florida GOP Rep Lady Ruins All Barack Obama’s Martial Law Fun…
  evolution

Pleiadians, Lizard People Going To Explode America While Obama In Asia

You feel that chill outside? No, of course you don’t. The weather is getting warmer and warmer right now. Why? Ex-communist and ex-Nazi Pleiadians and Lizard People, that’s why. Galaxy mother / BlogTalkRadio personality / future Fox News anchor Colleen Thomas has gone onto the YouTube from her well-appointed home to tell us that this country is going to explode today from dirty bombs because President Obama, in league with these evil forces, left us behind. Make sure your human meat is not overcooked by these bombs, because otherwise the reptilians won’t be able to sell it on the black market, in space! And please somebody tell this to Obama, because he’s going to die in a space tsunami over there after the Lizard People turn their backs on him. Read more on Pleiadians, Lizard People Going To Explode America While Obama In Asia…
  the new jim cramer

Jesus, Everyone’s Insane

There is a crazy bald dude on CNBC, and he is going super-double crazy. And here, introducing this CNBC clip of insanity, is a guy in California who is … driving and doing a YouTube video at the same time, about how Californians will soon be sent to Concentration Camps. So, pack a suitcase and drive around! Let’s see some more of this wacky CNBC weirdo, Jeff Macke. Read more on Jesus, Everyone’s Insane…